Two Types of Narcissists

  1. Vulnerable - they have low self-esteem and crave affirmation
  2. Grandiose - they have a genuinely overinflated sense of self

A study done by New York University researchers suggests that those who fall under the grandiose type of narcissism are not narcissists at all because their behavior resembles psychopathy and those who fall under the vulnerable type are not true narcissists because they do not seek power or dominance.

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Love & Family


Narcissists are people who behave in ways that many belief is driven by self-love but it isn't. Most of their behaviors are actually driven by self-hatred.

They are crippled by insecurity and shame. Their life is an attempt to regulate their image and this can manifest in behaviors like flaunting on social media, taking credit for other people's work, or even by usurping attention over brunch at the expense of someone else.

Much of narcissists' behavior comes from deep-seated insecurities and with that thought in mind, we can show compassion towards them instead of getting into a competition with them.

For narcissists to change they must be motivated to change for themselves.

The vicious cycle of narcissism or as Pascall Wallisch likes to call maladaptive cascade has three phases:

  • A vulnerable narcissist fears that they're not perceived in a certain way;
  • They self-aggrandize to alleviate that fear; then
  • Others are put off by their behavior thus putting the narcissist back to square one -- which makes this all a vicious and repetitive cycle.

Many narcissists don't actually realize that they are the problem because they are resistant to change.

Seeking positive reinforcement is never a bad thing because we all do something to make ourselves better but when self-enhancement becomes the predominant goal in nearly all circumstances and how they resort to seeking it out may become precarious and inappropriate.

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Narcissism As A Defence Mechanism
  • The term Narcissist is named after the beautiful Narcissus, a youth in Ancient Greece who was so self-obsessed with his own reflection that it killed him.
  • A narcissistic attitude is a product of self-loathing, and not self-love, according to an academic study.
  • Narcissism is mostly misunderstood and is in fact a cover-up or a defence mechanism on one’s negative self-worth and deep insecurities.
  • Narcissism can be described as performative self-elevation, where one pretends to be more successful or important than one really is.



Narcissism: Me First

To be narcissistic is to be selfish, manipulative, and ego-driven. But this trait has varying degrees of intensity, from reasonable selfishness to a villainous and psychopathic personality disorder.

Narcissists need not always be the flashy and over-confident people who are not letting others speak. Many narcissists are insecure, self-focused, and are not in the limelight.

Loves to Talk About Oneself

A pathological narcissist loves to talk about himself, often in exaggerated and grandiose terms. 

Common conversational topics for narcissists include accomplishments and achievements, exciting and envy-worthy activities, excessive focus on personal issues and concerns, excessive focus on looks and materialism, and putting others down to show one’s own superiority.

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