Why some narcissists actually hate themselves

The vicious cycle of narcissism or as Pascall Wallisch likes to call maladaptive cascade has three phases:

• A vulnerable narcissist fears that they're not perceived in a certain way;
• They self-aggrandize to alleviate that fear; then
• Others are put off by their behavior thus putting the narcissist back to square one -- which makes this all a vicious and repetitive cycle.

Many narcissists don't actually realize that they are the problem because they are resistant to change.

Narcissists are people who behave in ways that many belief is driven by self-love but it isn't. Most of their behaviors are actually driven by self-hatred.

They are crippled by insecurity and shame. Their life is an attempt to regulate their image and this can manifest in behaviors like flaunting on social media, taking credit for other people's work, or even by usurping attention over brunch at the expense of someone else.

Much of narcissists' behavior comes from deep-seated insecurities and with that thought in mind, we can show compassion towards them instead of getting into a competition with them.

For narcissists to change they must be motivated to change for themselves.