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What Resilience Really Looks Like and How to Build It
Common patterns in building resilience
- Relying on others. Resilience has a lot to do with leaning on the people around you and with developing strong, supportive connections.
- Trust your own abilities. Keep a list of accomplishments you’re proud of to serve as a reminder of the times you’ve been resilient before.
- Be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to set physical, mental and emotional boundaries.
- Change your outlook. While you can’t always control the situation, you do have control over how you respond to it. Cultivate optimism in the face of adversity.
- Take the next step, even if it’s small. Build hope. Make a list that includes a goal, steps to achieve it, potential obstacles and strategies to overcome them.
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Resilience
Resilience is the the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or significant sources of stress.
Resilient people are more likely to bounce back from stressful or traumatic situations, and they demonstrate an optimistic attitude, opting to see the lessons in failure.
Resilience is a skill
Resilience isn’t something you’re born with, but something you build.
Psychologists say it’s comprised of behaviors, thoughts and actions that anyone can learn — a skill that can be improved, just like running or speaking a new language.
Common patterns in building resilience
- Relying on others. Resilience has a lot to do with leaning on the people around you and with developing strong, supportive connections.
- Trust your own abilities. Keep a list of accomplishments you’re proud of to serve as a reminder of the times you’ve been resilient before.
- Be kind to yourself. Give yourself permission to set physical, mental and emotional boundaries.
- Change your outlook. While you can’t always control the situation, you do have control over how you respond to it. Cultivate optimism in the face of adversity.
- Take the next step, even if it’s small. Build hope. Make a list that includes a goal, steps to achieve it, potential obstacles and strategies to overcome them.
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Emotional Resilience
This is the ability to handle a stressful event or experience without destroying one’s resolve, sense of purpose, or sanity.
An emotionally resilient person can channelize...
Journaling to increase emotional stamina
Reflective journaling as a daily practice helps us improve our emotional stamina.
Writing down our experiences leads to new insights and a deeper understanding of our behaviour and actions. Writing down your failures and successes also helps us self-analyze our life in an objective, detached way. One can choose a pen and paper or digital format to write and make it a point to write when one experiences highs and lows in life.
Self-Compassion
We have to take care not to damage our self-esteem and our sense of self-worth by being judgemental about ourselves.
Embracing one’s imperfect moments with kindness and grace, makes us see the positive aspects of the situation and helps us learn from our mistakes. Meditation and certain thought exercises that steer our mind towards positivity, help us in being compassionate towards ourselves.
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Making A Crisis Out Of Everything
Our diminishing resilience and decreasing psychological threshold of handling pain and struggle is, in turn, making everything look like a crisis.
We are making a catastrophe out of eve...
Psychological Resilience
Psychological resilience is not about fake positivity and takes its power from our negative feelings. It makes our anger, sadness, failure and self-loathing into something useful and productive.
When we become sufficiently resilient, we are unstoppable and limitless.
Care For Someone Else
Our focus on the self has made us fearful and overwhelmed, especially in times of crisis. Part of our anxiety is the constant focus on oneself. Even if we do focus on others, it is only to judge them about how they feel about us, and what they think about us.
If instead of our inner selfishness, we find a greater cause to endure the crisis or risk, some deeper purpose or mission that eclipses our ego, then the crisis is taken care of.
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Connection
Having friendships and a sense of belonging is considered a core psychological need and has a big impact on our physical health.
Studies show that loneliness is toxic—it’s more harmful...
Humor
Finding ways to laugh at challenges, stressful situations, and even personal tragedy is one way resilient people cope and grow through misfortune.
Being able to laugh at challenges provides distance and perspective, but does so without denying pain or fear.
Acts of Service
Helping others benefits the giver as much as those on the receiving end.
Caring for others triggers the biology of courage and creates hope.
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