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6 Common Communication Mistakes that Couples Make
Not showing your appreciation
It is important to remind your partner you appreciate them.
This generates a warm and loving atmosphere as a backdrop to your relationship.
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Key Ideas
You don’t paraphrase or restate
Practice paraphrasing instead of responding with nods, a-ha's, and yeah's.
This type of communicating makes your partner feel like they are getting real attention and empathy.
For example:
If they are talking about a conflict they had at work say, “So it sounds like you are frustrated because your boss didn’t acknowledge how hard you worked on that project.”
Focusing on the person instead of the issue
Try to talk about the issue at hand and how it makes you feel.
For example:
“It makes me feel frustrated that you forgot what I wanted. Is there a way I can help you to remember next time?”
Serious conversations while emotional
It’s best to remain as rational as possible when tackling issues such as money, marriage, and family.
Write down the main points you want to discuss with your partner before starting the conversation. Or do something relaxing that you enjoy before having a serious talk.
You don’t actually listen
When someone else is speaking, we are often waiting for our opportunity to say what we think, rather than actually listening.
Don’t rush in. Consider what they’ve said, and think carefully before giving them your response.
You don’t lead by example
When you change your own habits for the better, your partner will pick up on it.