How "Thinking Of Everything" Holds Mums Back - Deepstash
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How "Thinking Of Everything" Holds Mums Back

How "Thinking Of Everything" Holds Mums Back

When it comes to household responsibilities, women perform far more cognitive and emotional labour than men.

Understanding why could help explain why gender equality has not only stalled, but is going backwards, despite being more discussed than ever. And a broader understanding of this behind-the-scenes labour could help couples redistribute the work more equally – something that, while initially difficult, could play a significant role in helping mothers lighten their load.

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The Mental Load Of Mothers

The Mental Load Of Mothers

There are four clear stages of mental work related to household responsibilities: 

  • anticipating needs, 
  • identifying options, 
  • deciding among the options;
  • monitoring the results. 

Mothers did more in all four stages, her research showed; while parents...

21

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Impacts Of The Mental Load Of Mothers

Impacts Of The Mental Load Of Mothers

The fact that mothers end up assuming this mental load has consequences: 

  • Mothers are more stressed, tired and less happy than fathers;
  •  When women thought the distribution of housework was unfair and perceptions of each partner’s contribution differed, it led to marriage prob...

18

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The Invisible, Unlimited Work Of Mothers

The Invisible, Unlimited Work Of Mothers

Experts say that this hidden work comes in three overlapping categories:

  1. cognitive labour, which is thinking about all the practical elements of household responsibilities, including shopping and planning activities.
  2. emotional labour, which is...

20

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How To Reduce Your Mental Load As A Mother

How To Reduce Your Mental Load As A Mother

Perhaps the best way for women to reduce the mental load is to do less. If the mother stops thinking about what needs to be done and the father does not anticipate these needs, it may initially cause stress or judgement – but that could allow learning for next time. 

Over time, doing less c...

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claudiaflorescu

Psychotherapist, CBT fanatic, community organizer, active citizen

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