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How To Be More Engaging In Your Conversations
Conversations With Open-Ended Questions
If you begin discussions by asking questions regarding the current location or occasion, it can help release the pressure of trying to force a conversation. Make sure it is open ended, nonthreatening and nonpersonal.
From there you can move the conversation to something more personal. Be the one asking the questions and allow the other person to speak.
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Technology And Conversations
Your environment affects your personal relationships. Technologies like social media are making conversations harder and less engaging. But getting rid of it isn't necessarily the cure-all for most of our social interactions.
If you have you've been feeling disconnected you can develop your conversational skills if you persist.
Become An Active Listener
Be engaged and listen to what they are saying. Show interest, ask questions and clarifications. This shows others that you care about what they are saying, and about them in the bigger picture.
Ask Questions
When conversations stall, ask people about themselves or about their interests. This is especially good to connect with unknown people.
They will feel like you care about them, know and listen to them. Engaged individuals will reciprocate, and you will have a better conversation.
Have Confidence
Mumbling or trailing off because you're worried about what others think of you can impact a conversation negatively. Let those distractions go.
A connection will most likely happen if you show your true self instead of trying to conform to expectation.
Put Your Phone Away
Don't allow yourself to be distracted by your phone when you're having a good conversation with someone.
A study indicated that you can be viewed as less empathetic and trustworthy if you're constantly using your phone around someone else.
Use Reflective Listening
In order to have someone feel heard you can reflect back what they are saying to you. Simply paraphrase what they just said. This way they will feel understood and you are more engaging.
Conversations With Open-Ended Questions
If you begin discussions by asking questions regarding the current location or occasion, it can help release the pressure of trying to force a conversation. Make sure it is open ended, nonthreatening and nonpersonal.
From there you can move the conversation to something more personal. Be the one asking the questions and allow the other person to speak.
Mirror Their Actions
Mirroring someone else's body language can establish trust, good will and a connection between individuals.
Get Out Of Your Head
Focusing too much on your own thoughts can leave you stressed and keep you from engaging. Try to let those distractions go when you're talking with someone so the person feels important and validated.
Try To See Things From Their Perspective
Look the other person in the eyes, and be genuinely curious about what they have to say and why they are saying it. Make a point to really want to understand the other person better, and try to see things from their perspective.
Find Some Commonality
Asking questions and being vocal about your likes and dislikes can open new possibilities of conversational topics. Be curious. Ask many questions. Find things you have in common and talk about them.
Keep Your Body Language In Check
93% of communication is nonverbal, so be mindful of your body language as people can tell when you are uninterested. Make direct eye contact, give respect by putting your phone away and face them, so they can have your undivided attention.
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How To Be An Active Listener
- Ignore internal and external distractions (thoughts and sounds).
- Listen to the content of their speech and their specific wording.
- Listen to ...
Selective Listening
Means to focus on a few key words and ignore the rest of someone's communication.
It often manifests as one gets distracted by external stimuli like random sounds or movements, and internal stimuli such as one's own thoughts and feelings.
Active Listening
Means to fully concentrate on what is being said rather than passively absorbing it.
It's not just remembering the content of what was said, but using empathy and seeking to understand the complete message, including the emotional tones conveyed. It builds rapport, understanding and trust.
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Be Direct
During a difficult conversation, be quick and direct. This is not the time for feedback techniques, as they will mask the point of the conversation and lessen its impact making it more difficult.
Often, the person knows that a critique is coming, so rather than dancing around the subject, just get to it. It’s better for both parts.
Be Specific
Be honest and thorough with your feedback, give examples and fully clarify why you're having the conversation.
The more clarity you can provide, the better the critique will be received.
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Research on communication
Research found that only 7 percent of communication comes from the words you use; the rest of what you communicate comes from your voice and tone (38 percent) and your body language (55 percent).
Connecting with people
Embrace small talk
Small talk might not be that meaningful, but it does have a few benefits: it can make you happier and it can boost the brain’s executive functions responsible for everything from attention and focus to time management to organization.
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