Traits Of Engaging Conversationalists
- They display genuine interest in what their partner is saying. They actively listen, rather than simply waiting for their own turn to speak.
- They demonstrate attention by looking directly at the speaker.
- They ask questions and go deeper into topics of others to not monopolize the exchange.
- They can skip the small talk for more substantial matters.
- They entertain and engage by telling stories and are good at bringing them up in conversations.
- They pay attention to their energy, body language and tone of voice to bring their statements to life.
- To avoid losing the focus and attention of their conversational partner, they keep the conversation flowing and don’t pause for too long or focus on dull topics.
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Keep your personal anecdotes short and sweet, focusing more on the other person’s stories than your own.
To find out if you’re speaking too much, leave out some details of the story, to see if they’re really interested in hearing more. If they don’t respond, turn the focus of the conversation to something else that might engage them more.
Avoid the temptation to snoop your partner’s phone, Facebook messages, or email account.
While this could temporarily calm your nerves when you see nothing afoul, it is also a behavior that could quickly become addictive, not to mention damaging for relationship trust.
- Research has found that “Hello, how are you?” is the most effective conversation starter, but you can use context, like impressions or the location, in its place.
- Bring up topics, look for ideas and ask questions that spark energy or get the person excited.
- The eyebrow raise is what we do when we hear or see something interesting. It clues you in to a topic that they might like discussing.
- Stories are great to hold attention, instigate emotion and are more easily remembered. Keep in mind your favorite ones, the ones that can backup claims and how you can answer with anecdotes.
- When we share something, we often want someone else to share something. Give back as much as you get.
- Don’t be a conversational narcissist. Ensure you do equal parts talking and listening.
- Don’t try to constantly outdo others or their stories. Let people enjoy their moment and celebrate with them, don’t one-up them.