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7 Habits of Irresistibly Engaging Conversationalists

Traits Of Engaging Conversationalists

Traits Of Engaging Conversationalists
  1. They display genuine interest in what their partner is saying. They actively listen, rather than simply waiting for their own turn to speak.
  2. They demonstrate attention by looking directly at the speaker.
  3. They ask questions and go deeper into topics of others to not monopolize the exchange.
  4. They can skip the small talk for more substantial matters.
  5. They entertain and engage by telling stories and are good at bringing them up in conversations.
  6. They pay attention to their energy, body language and tone of voice to bring their statements to life.
  7. To avoid losing the focus and attention of their conversational partner, they keep the conversation flowing and don’t pause for too long or focus on dull topics. 

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7 Habits of Irresistibly Engaging Conversationalists

7 Habits of Irresistibly Engaging Conversationalists

https://www.inc.com/kat-boogaard/7-habits-of-irresistibly-engaging-conversationalists.html

inc.com

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Key Idea

Traits Of Engaging Conversationalists

  1. They display genuine interest in what their partner is saying. They actively listen, rather than simply waiting for their own turn to speak.
  2. They demonstrate attention by looking directly at the speaker.
  3. They ask questions and go deeper into topics of others to not monopolize the exchange.
  4. They can skip the small talk for more substantial matters.
  5. They entertain and engage by telling stories and are good at bringing them up in conversations.
  6. They pay attention to their energy, body language and tone of voice to bring their statements to life.
  7. To avoid losing the focus and attention of their conversational partner, they keep the conversation flowing and don’t pause for too long or focus on dull topics. 

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Step #5: Exits
Step #5: Exits

Use bookmarks to end well. Examples:

  • Future Mentions: “Well, I can’t wait to see you at that ___ coming up—I’ll email you!
  • Inside Jokes: “It was g...
Step #4: Evaluate Your Conversational Performance

After an event ask yourself what went well, what did you learn and who should you follow-up with so you can keep learning and honing your ability. 

This can help you identify patterns and remember to follow up on bookmarks, LinkedIn connections and promises.

Step #3: Bookmarking

Use the ‘Bookmarking’ technique to create a deeper connection by adding verbal markers or emphasis to parts of the conversation:

  • Future Mentions: saying something that will require follow up on later.
  • Inside Jokes: making jokes that refer to something interesting or funny you and the listener was involved in.
  • Same Same: exclaiming how crazy it is you have something in common and talking about it.
  • You Have to See: saying that you will share something they are interested in with them later.

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It's not all about you

A self-centered worldview will have you chasing boogeymen where they don’t exist. 

Stop psycho-analyzing every word choice your partner makes and be more present in the moment so ...

Stop psyching yourself out

Have you ever found thinking negative thoughts like, “I know they’ll get sick of me someday,” or, “How could they love me?” 

These thoughts have little to do with reality but a lot to do with fear.

Stop lugging around all that baggage

A little baggage is totally okay, but you need to lighten your load before jumping into any new relationship.

Let go of any left-over hurtful feelings that might be lingering and realize that your new relationship is a new opportunity to put all of that behind you.

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Scott H Young

"People don’t judge you so much for who you are as they judge you for how you communicate yourself."

Scott H Young
Be Funny and Interesting

  • Humor: It takes a lot of practice until you can figure out the natural timing and flow of a joke. Practice makes perfect.
  • Interest comes from having an interesting life. You can be interesting by telling stories  or by simply being quick to bring up an interesting fact.

Interest is similar to humor whenever people discover something they didn’t expect.

Tell Great Stories
  • You need to have an interesting point to make it worthwhile.
  • Your most interesting point should be the last thing you say in your story.
  • Keep it short.
  • Keep it personal. People prefer stories about people they know.
  • The more you tell a story the better you get the natural timing and emphasis. 

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