Being shy and being introverted are often used interchangeably. But many introverts do not define their personality as shy. Instead, introverts will tell you they can indeed interact and socialize comfortably with others, but it’s just not their preference. The intro in the term introvert is the key. <a href="https://everydaypower.com/power-of-introverts/">Introverts are typically very introspective </a>: they spend a good deal of time in self-analysis. They examine their own thoughts, preferences, perceptions, and observations to gauge their life’s direction and make life choices..

Introverts 

The first piece of advice to introverts who aim to develop a forceful personality is to <a href="https://everydaypower.com/reasons-to-accept-yourself/">accept your personality type </a>and work with it. Don’t try to change the basic tenets of your personality.You don’t need to become an extrovert. Don’t try to become a social butterfly or the life of the party! Any such attempt is bound to explode at some point, as it will take way too much effort and energy to keep up the facade.Instead, mold the star qualities you possess. Work hard to strengthen your positive characteristics and keep your weaknesses in check. Become an expert in areas you care about.

1. Self-Acceptance—“ If it doesn’t fit, don’t force it!  ”

Another way that introverts can quietly become take-charge leaders and display a strong personality is by using active listening .Active listening is the ability to focus full attention on what is being communicated, such that you remember all of it and can ask questions. This ensures you have a full understanding of the information presented and its intent.This shows the person you are interacting with that you are engaged and aware of what they are trying to communicate; building trust and alliance.

2. Take advantage of your innate ability to listen actively.

Introverts will admit that they are not spontaneous individuals. Instead, they respond more effectively when they can prepare and plan. This is strength, so use it!Document your ideas, thoughts, and concerns. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to analyze your efforts. Map out the steps that lead to “how” for those things you desire to accomplish. But remain cognizant so that you don’t go overboard or get mired in details and stress on potential obstacles.When your analysis gets too complicated, breathe. Step away from it, and remind yourself that simple is best. Still, be sure to prepare as much

3. Prepare but stop over-thinking or over-analyzing situations.

Introverts prefer one-on-one interactions or small group socializing. So, solidify and bolster advocacy by using some skills we previously discussed (active listening, expertise building, and preparation ).You should take hold of every opportunity for individual exchange to sort out those with whom you are most comfortable, and with whom (based on your assessment ) you are not only compatible with, but feel a natural affinity.Once you have done that, <a href="https://www.fastcompany.com/3041774/7-key-habits-for-building-better-relationships">cultivate strong relationships with these individuals </a>.

4. Build a small but strong support circle.

Recharging andreplenishing are activities that many introverts need to do in solitude so that they do NOT become overwhelmed.The recharging effort helps bring introverts back to a calm state where they feel rejuvenated and ready to face the ongoing challenge of socializing and interacting in a group or social situations.Introverts should try to set specific recharge times and opportunities for themselves. But you must be honest with yourself and never use the need to recharge to avoid interaction or socializing. While your solitude is necessary, you have too much to offer to hide out from wor

5. Be present – don’t isolate yourself.

5 ways that will help Introverts to develop 

Introverts can have a powerful personality, too. By developing their strengths, they can rise to take charge of any situation. Here's how.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

communication

Communication

5 Ways Introverts Can Develop a Strong Personality

<ol><li>Zip it - to stop talking immediately.</li><li>Hush - usually used to tell someone to be quiet</li><li>Conticent - silent.</li><li>Obmutescence - a becoming or keeping silent or mute.</li><li>Shush - to urge to be quiet.</li><li>Shut Your Pie Hole - used to tell someone to stop talking.</li><li>Silence - forbearance from speech or noise; muteness — often used interjectionally.</li><li>Basta - that’s enough; stop it!</li></ol>

8 Ways to Tell Someone to Be Quiet

Definition - To stop talking immediately.There is no dearth of occasions on which one might wish to ask others to be quiet, and so it is useful to have a variety of ways in which to make such a request. <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/zip%20it">Zip it</a> is one of the informal ones, a relatively recent (late 20th century) Americanism.

Zip It

Usually used to tell someone to be quiet.<a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hush">Hush</a> may function as a number of different parts of speech (verb, noun, and adjective), although it comes from a Middle English interjection (huissht, used to enjoin silence). When formed with the adjective suffix -ful it gives us <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hushful">hushful</a>, meaning “full of silence; quiet.”

Hush

“Hush, hush!” I interrupted. “Still you have not told me, Heathcliff, how Catherine is left behind?”

Definition - silent.Sometimes it is nice to have an obscure way to refer to common things, and one would be hard-pressed to find a word more obscure than <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/conticent">conticent</a>.<ul><li>The word comes in part from the Latin tacēre (to be silent), a word which also serves as the root of <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tacit">tacit</a> (expressed or carried on without words or speech) and <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/tacet">tacet</a> (used as a direction in music to indicate that an instrument is not to play during a movement or long section).</li></ul>

Conticent

Definition - a becoming or keeping silent or mute.Obmutescence is another lovely and obscure entry in the catalog of words for being quiet. It comes from adding the prefix ob- (to, toward) to the Latin mutescere (to become mute).

Obmutescence

Definition - to urge to be quiet.Although shush and hush would appear to be cut from the same cloth, etymologically speaking, the two words are distinct. Shush is of imitative origin, and is often used in the imperative to urge cessation of talk or moderation of sound.

Shush

Definition - used to tell someone to stop talking.Shut your pie hole may not be apt for most academic writing.This euphonious idiom is first found in Stephen King’s 1983 novel Christine. However, this use is preceded by a similar turn of phrase, shut your cake-hole; in both cases referring apparently to the mouth, through which one might ingest either cake or pie.

Shut Your Pie Hole

Definition - forbearance from speech or noise; muteness — often used interjectionally.“Silence!” is always a good thing to yell when trying to quiet a room full of unruly children. It is unlikely to have such effect, but at least manages to convey an air of gravitas.The word comes from the Latin silens (silent), which also serves as the root of a number of other, lesser known words relating to quiet, including silential (conducted in silence) and silentious (habitually silent).

Silence

Definition - that’s enough; stop it!Although it is often used in English, we label basta as an Italian and Spanish verb. This is due to the fact that it has never really been fully naturalized in English, even though it has been in some use for hundreds of years.<ul><li>The word may be found as far back as 1543, when Sir William Paget used it in a letter to the Earl of Hertford (“but as the Italyen saith, Basta”).</li><li>It also appears in the writings of a number of 17th century playwrights, including Shakespeare and Ben Jonson.</li></ul>

Basta

When shushing just isn't cutting it, here is a collection of other ways to say be quiet, for use on all the yellers, library talkers, and loud chewers.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

Adversity is a state or instance of serious or continued difficulty or misfortune.Plural: adversitiesSynonyms: ill, knock, misadventure, mischance, misfortune, mishap, tragedy.Antonyms: fortune, luck, serendipity.

What It Means

<ul><li> He showed courage in the face of adversity.</li><li> We had to learn to deal with adversity.</li><li>The movie is about a group of determined mountain climbers who triumph in the face of adversity.</li></ul>

Examples of adversity in a Sentence

Adversity comes from Middle English adversite, meaning "opposition, hostility, misfortune, or hardship," which itself is from Latin adversus, the source of adverse, which means "bad or unfavorable", as in "adverse criticism" or "an adverse reaction to the medication".First Known Use of adversity: 13th century.

Did You Know?

After two years of research, I discovered that everyone has a crisis personality survivor IQ—that they marshal in a moment of adversity: a mindset and ways of thinking about a situation.

Adversity - noun | ad-VER-suh-tee | ad·​ver·​si·​ty | ad-ˈvər-sə-tē

Merriam-Webster's Word of the Day for April 5, 2022 is:




adversity \ad-VER-suh-tee\ noun

Word of the Day - Adversity

Depending on how we answer whether someone likes us or not, we will either take steps to deepen the friendship or make moves to withdraw to spare ourselves humiliation and embarrassment. We assume that the other person must settle this, and we can do nothing to shift the verdict. However, we fail to realise that we often don't know what we think of other people. What usually helps us decide what someone means to us is our sense of what we mean to them.

We want to know whether or not someone likes us

The possibility of friendship often hangs in the balance because both sides are quietly waiting for a sign of whether they are liked before they dare to show any enthusiasm.  Most of it depends on how we behave towards them. We have every opportunity to persuade them to see us in a positive light by showing them that we see them in a positive light.

See people in a positive light

How we can show charm:<ul><li>We can remember small things about the other person.</li><li>Show interest in what they have been up to</li><li>Laugh at their witty comments</li><li>Sympathise with them about their sorrows</li></ul> Once you have carried out this set of techniques, you have to be highly unlucky to talk to people who show no interest in a friendship.

Use the full range of techniques for charm

Friendship cannot develop unless one side is willing to show they are ready to like when there is no evidence of being liked back. Whether or not the person likes us will depend on what we do, not on what we are by nature. They may initially look a little distracted and behave in an off-hand way, but if we keep showing them warmth and encouragement to help them overcome their self-suspicion, the barriers will eventually come down.

Friendship requires risk

Strategies to meet new people and reconnect with old friends

books

Books

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

How To Make Friends As An Adult

We spend an inordinate amount of time concentrating on the question of whether or not we are liked. It would be a great deal wiser to put our energy into actually proving likeable and persuading our audience of our affection for them. Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2LayJ9F For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2RQW2sV Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://bit.ly/2JYouWR 2DAODLd FURTHER READING You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2JXaFrX “One of the most acute questions we ask ourselves in relation to new friends and acquaintances is whether or not they like us. The question feels so significant because, depending on how we answer it in our minds, we will either take steps to deepen the friendship or, as is often the case, immediately make moves to withdraw from it so as to spare ourselves humiliation and embarrassment.” MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE Visit us in person at our London HQ: https://bit.ly/2T7u1yP Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: http://bit.ly/TSOLself You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2 Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB SOCIAL MEDIA Feel free to follow us at the links below: Download our App: https://www.theschooloflife.com/app-2/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/theschooloflifelondon/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheSchoolOfLife Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/theschooloflifelondon/ CREDITS Produced in collaboration with: Nick Hilditch https://nickhilditch.com/

videos

Videos

We spend an inordinate amount of time concentrating on the question of whether or not we are liked. It would be a great deal wiser to put our energy into actually proving likeable and persuading our audience of our affection for them.
Sign up to our new newsletter and get 10% off your first online order of a book, product or class: https://bit.ly/2LayJ9F
For gifts and more from The School of Life, visit our online shop: https://bit.ly/2RQW2sV
Our website has classes, articles and products to help you think and grow: https://bit.ly/2JYouWR
2DAODLd

FURTHER READING

You can read more on this and other subjects on our blog, here: https://bit.ly/2JXaFrX

“One of the most acute questions we ask ourselves in relation to new friends and acquaintances is whether or not they like us. The question feels so significant because, depending on how we answer it in our minds, we will either take steps to deepen the friendship or, as is often the case, immediately make moves to withdraw from it so as to spare ourselves humiliation and embarrassment.”


MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

Visit us in person at our London HQ: https://bit.ly/2T7u1yP

Watch more films on SELF in our playlist: 
http://bit.ly/TSOLself

You can submit translations and transcripts on all of our videos here: https://www.youtube.com/timedtext_cs_panel?c=UC7IcJI8PUf5Z3zKxnZvTBog&tab=2 
Find out how more here: https://support.google.com/youtube/answer/6054623?hl=en-GB 


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CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Nick Hilditch
https://nickhilditch.com/

We're interested in self-understanding, calm and emotional maturity.

We have thousands of articles about emotional life for you on our website: www.theschooloflife.com

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The School of Life

How to Stop Worrying Whether or Not They Like You

Life is not easy.We are all evolved primates that occupy a massive planet.We possess only abstract ideas on why we ended up here.However, we are primates that constantly evolve. And it is through this evolution that we can improve our living conditions.Through constant trial and error, we have managed to reach a state where we can orient ourselves better within this ominous landscape that we inhabit.Below, you will find 10 life lessons predicated on primate wisdom – primate wisdom that can definitely help you enhance your understanding of the mechanics of life.

Life Lessons – 10 Ideas That Will Help You Understand the Mechanics of Life

Once you decide what you want to pursue, embrace the fact that knowledge never ends. Create a strict schedule that “forces” you to read blogs, books, and websites relevant to the area you want to focus on.When I decided to embark on my blogging journey, I started reading literally everything that exists out there. I made it a constant practice and it became a crucial part of my everyday life.

1. Find the perfect balance between theory and practice

At the same time, I was capitalizing on the newly acquired knowledge by testing different styles and by trying to understand what works and what doesn’t. This resulted in my finally discovering my personal blogging style that is constantly evolving and being refined. Do that with any skill you want to cultivate.

Most of us live our lives totally reliant upon forces that dictate our success or failure. This “attitude” unfortunately contradicts to the antifragility argument raised by the great Nassim Taleb.We need to be ready to face adversity and unpredicted events. In order to do that we need to possess a diversification-oriented mindset.

2. Diversity is golden – always have an exit strategy

If you are an entrepreneur or an investor, for example, I would strongly advise you to not rely only on one project. You should always have a diversified portfolio. If you are an employee, always evolve your skill repertoire and stay up to date with new trends and technologies.Chaos and complexity urge us to accept that risk should be a crucial parameter of our interactions and decisions. So, embrace it, be strategic, and check out point 9 for further elaboration on the topic of risk.

If you introduce John to Steve and then Steve manages to help John in any way then you made a great connection. Think of this event as another string in the tight network you are constantly trying to build. This network is like a bonus in your video game called life that will eventually help you stand up when you are about to fall down.It is the invisible power that creates once-in-a-lifetime opportunities and opens new doors in your pursuit of success, they might include:Finding great employeesLanding difficult interviewsMeeting potential business partnersExtending your social circle

Life Lessons – 3. Networking is the ace under your sleeve

Expanding from the above point, we all need to understand that building a network has never been an easy thing. Nobody wants to help for free. When you embrace this idea, internalize it and always have something to offer. Tangible or intangible, it doesn’t really matter. You can give away anything. Things like:IdeasAdviceHelpSmall giftsAnything that will show others that you actually care for them. When you get used to this mindset by making it a regular practice, you will start building the foundations of your network.

4. Understand that people love free goods
 

Don’t betray anyone. Don’t backstab anyone. Don’t step on anyone’s toes. Don’t gossip. All these behaviours imply a scarcity mentality and won’t help you get far. You know how they say that you are what you eat? By the same token, you attract what you are. If you want success and abundance, learn how to behave in a successful and abundant way.

5. Never say a bad word about anyone


There is enough out there for everyone. Your competition is not other people. Your competition is: Your procrastination.Your ego.The knowledge you neglect to learn.The antisocial behavior you are nurturing.The unhealthy food you constantly consume.Your lack of creativity.The wrong people you surround yourself with.

I like writing because it helps me discover myself and dive deep into complex topics. And you know what I discovered recently? That once you care too much about what other people think, you lost the game. I’ll support my point with an example. Check out this video of 2 cute babies talking to each other.Now focus on the dislikes. Way too many dislikes. Why would someone dislike 2 babies that talk to each other? For many reasons. Why would people dislike you? Also for many reasons. Reasons that shouldn’t be of your concern

6. Ignore ill-intentioned criticism

Whether you are an entrepreneur, a doctor, a lawyer, a young professional, a college student, or you are sitting at home in your sweatpants dreaming of getting that perfect job, you are a brand. Give me a second to illustrate my point.I know that, normally, when people hear the word brand they naturally think of huge corporations like Apple, Coca Cola, Pepsi Cola, Sony, Toyota etc. These huge conglomerates are bombarding you with commercials and subliminal messages on a daily basis in order to increase their brand awareness and stay in your head as an established, well-respected existence.

7. You are your own personal brand
 

What does this have to do with you? Everything! The way the above-mentioned companies try to increase their value as a brand, in the same way, you should be doing that too. Examples of people who have managed to do this successfully among others are: Elon MuskTim FerrissRussell Brand (even his name includes the word brand!)

They are their own personal brand and they do that by focusing on 4 major principles:<ol><li>Their Expertise. What is your expertise? What is your competitive advantage? What do you know more than others?</li><li>Their Image. How do you dress? How do you speak? How do you treat others? What does your body language convey?</li><li>Their Message. What message do you want to pass to others? How do you want to influence them?</li><li>Their integrity. Are you truly saying what you believe or are you acting just to please others? Is your belief and value system aligned with your words and actions?</li></ol>

Luck? What is luck? Can you please define it for me? According to www.oxforddictionaries.com, luck is defined as follows:Success or failure apparently brought by chance rather than through one’s own actions.I always hated vague terms. Terms that are defined by intuition rather than reason. So let’s shed some light of reasoning on luck’s definition. It seems that luck is defined by using the words “apparently” and “chance.”

8. Create your own luck

Chance: “A possibility of something happening.”Apparently: “As far as one knows or can see.”Both terms have something in common. In order for them to exist, they require a person’s action to be initiated. Chances and apparent situations are created by your willingness to pursue them. They are happening when you know where they are. Same does luck. When people use the term luck in the wrong context, always have one thing in mind: They have no idea what luck really means.

Risk is an instance that involves exposure to dangerous situations. It is this fragile factor that can bring you from the bottom to the top and vice versa. It is the partner you really want in your life but you are afraid that will cause trouble anytime.

9. Make risk your partner in crime

You are being gentle with them, enjoying them, nurturing them, but, at the same time, you don’t want them to get too excited. You don’t want to let them expose you to their volatility. They know that you can have each other on very strict terms but when you see that these terms are close to jeopardy, you need to know when to let them go.Success doesn’t come without risk. Learn to embrace it.

People will respect you if you know how to succeed, but at the same time, they will respect you if you know how to fail. Be strategic when it comes to failure. Learn from your mistakes and capitalize on the lessons you learned.Furthermore, in order to make this idea a practice, you need to be honest with yourself and also with your surroundings. Say what you really believe and express yourself in a confident and elegant manner. Nobody can be an advocate for you if you don’t know how to promote yourself first.

10. Take responsibility for your failures, be honest, be patient

But most importantly be patient. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Similarly, your new brand needs time to be sculptured. Go slow, take risks, be strategic and enjoy the ride.

I know that I was a bit straightforward and assertive in this article. I know that I have evoked mixed feelings. But I also know that these feelings were hidden deep inside you and for various reasons you were suppressing them and weren’t helping them emerge.Trust me, it is good that these feelings came out. They are the first step toward your complete awakening. Whether you will really wake up or not, that I don’t know.The choice is always yours.

CONCLUSION

Life lessons are usually learned the hard way. It doesn't always need to be like that. Read this article and life will make more sense than ever before.

habits

Habits

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

LIFE LESSONS - 10 IDEAS THAT WILL HELP YOU UNDERSTAND THE MECHANICS OF LIFE

Definition: one who is presumptuous and offers advice or opinions beyond one’s sphere of knowledge.The meaning of this word comes from a story in antiquity, in which the famed Greek painter Apelles one day heard a cobbler criticizing the way he had rendered a foot in a painting. Hence, an ultracrepidarian is one who, as a shoemaker might, goes “beyond the sole,” and offers advice on matters they perhaps should leave alone.

Ultracrepidarian

Definition: one given to finding out and getting invited to good feasts.The smell-feast is a distinctive kind of sponger; not one who imposes on friends for lodging and money, but rather focuses their efforts on being invited to dinner. We have all of us known a smell-feast, even if we lacked the word with which to describe this particular creature.

Smell-Feast

Base fawning Smell-feast, I beleeve thou art Shrewdly distemper’d both in head and heart; Thy wits are dreggish, and thy spirits dull and restive, c’ause thy belly’s always full.

Definition: a contemptible unmannerly person.English is a language that contains an embarrassment of riches when one wants to say something mean about someone else. If you need to refer to a <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/contemptible">contemptible</a> person you may choose from <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/blighter">blighter</a>, cockloche, dandiprat, <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dirtbag">dirtbag</a>, dogbolt, shagrag, <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/stinkard">stinkard</a> ... you get the picture.So why do we need <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/smatchet">smatchet</a>? Well, because there are a lot of contemptible people out there.

Smatchet

Definition: an affectedly nice person, a <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fop">fop</a>.<a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/prickmedainty">Prickmedainty</a>, a word that has primarily been used in Northern England and Scotland, may be employed as either a noun or an adjective. It comes from <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/compound">compounding</a> three words, which are exactly the ones you would expect: prick, me, and dainty. When the word first began to be used in the early 16th century it had more of a sense of “someone who cares overmuch about his clothing or appearance.”

Prickmedainty

Definition: one who insincerely professes love for the sake of gain.This delightful term is fashioned from the earlier noun cupboard love. This Kind of Love is frequently seen among certain Gentlemen at Counry Quarters, the Curates in City Parishes, Attornies Clerks, and young Barrister, and may, doubtless, descend to all Persons who have larger Stomachs than Purses.

Cupboard-Lover

Definition: a ponderous clumsy person.<a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fustilugs">Fustilugs</a> is one of those words that do a certain amount to renew one’s faith in the notion that English language makes sense.<ul><li>It is an obscure word that manages to still be fairly self-explanatory. It comes from combining the words <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/fusty">fusty</a> (“not fresh, stale”) and lug (“a heavy clumsy fellow”).</li></ul>

Fustilugs

Definition: a worthless person or thing; one who cumbers the world.Some words are examples of their definition; sesquipedalian, a word which means “having many syllables” may be used to describe itself. It is unclear why such a useful word for describing useless things should have fallen into disuse and obscurity. Cumber-world and the considerably more common adjective cumbersome both come from the verb cumber, which originally meant “to destroy utterly”, but also has the sense of “to hinder”.

Cumber-World

Definition: a silly flighty person.Flibbertigibbet is one of many incarnations of the Middle English word flepergebet, meaning "gossip" or "chatterer." (Others include "flybbergybe," "flibber de' Jibb," and "flipperty-gibbet.") It is a word of onomatopoeic origin, created from sounds that were intended to represent meaningless chatter. Shakespeare apparently saw a devilish aspect to a gossipy chatterer; he used "flibbertigibbet" as the name of a devil in King Lear.

Flibbertigibbet

Definition: one who excessively strives for knowledge, or has a preoccupation with it.A person who loves knowledge is a thing of beauty. However, a person who loves knowledge just a bit too much can quickly transition from “thing of beauty” to “person you’d really rather not sit next to at a dinner party.” The epistemophiliac is the sort of person who falls into the latter category. The word is a fairly recent addition to our language, appearing in the middle of the 20th century.

Epistemophiliac

Definition: a religious fanatic.Berndt Knipperdolling was a prominent Anabaptist (a member of a sect of 16th century Protestants who advocated the baptism and church membership of adult believers only), born in Munich at the end of the 15th century. Knipperdolling’s religious views were not shared by some authorities, and he came to an untimely end as a result of them. While initially knipperdolling was simply used as a term for an Anabaptist, it came to later take on the connotation of religious fanaticism.

Knipperdolling

'Smatchet', 'fustilugs', & other words for people who get on your nerves.

'Smatchet', 'fustilugs', & other words for people who get on your nerves

entertainment

Entertainment

10 Polite Words for Impolite People

Modern day vampires are people around you filled with toxicity and often leaves negative impact on you or end up exhausting your energy hence the term "ENERGY VAMPIRE"Energy vampires are people who — sometimes intentionally — drain your emotional energy. They feed on your willingness to listen and care for them, leaving you exhausted and overwhelmed.

Vampires Exists But They Are Not Who You Think.

What makes energy vampires so toxic is that they can be sources of chronic stress,. Especially if the energy vampire is someone you can’t avoid such as friend,a parent,boss etc. constantly having your energy drained by that individual is a stressor,that type of chronic stress is well known to have pretty bad effects on multiple systems in the body, including the immune, cardiovascular, neuroendocrine and central nervous systems. Evidence shows that people under chronic stress are at a higher risk of chronic problems ranging from autoimmune diseases to heart disease, obesity and depression.

Spending Too Much Time With Them Is A Health Hazard

1) Be clear about your boundaries with them.2) Adjust your expectations.3) Be intentional about how much space they have in your life.4) Don’t engage energy vampires.5) Do not overreact.6) Say No nicely.7) Cut them out of your life if you can.

Seven Easy Steps To Deal With Energy Vampires In Your Life.

Read about how to identify people and who to steer clear from in a bunch of really wise articles and it helped me spend my emotional energy a little less.

Energy vampires are people who drain your emotional energy. They feed on your willingness to listen and care for them. They leave you feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Starting to sound familiar? Here's how to identify and respond to this toxic behavior.

mentalhealth

Mental Health

Vampires walking around you.

If you want to keep people in your life, you have to tell them and be ready to put in the effort.Whether you've just moved away from your friend or you've been apart for years, long-distance friendships require a reciprocal commitment. That means reaching out, finding time to hang out and showing your friend, you value them.And the reciprocal is true – remember: They value you, too.

Be Explicit and Intentional About Keeping Your Long Distance Friend

The anchor also generates exclusivity, and that's something that builds our friendships when we have memories, experiences inside jokes that we share with one person that we don't have with other people.The key to building on your bond from afar is vulnerability. Your ability to show vulnerability is a big predictor of whether you'll stay close over time. Try being vulnerable about what's going on in your life and asking questions that welcome your friend's vulnerability.

Use Common Interests to Feel Connected – and Get Real

If you feel like your communication is in a rut, your friend probably feels that way too, so don't be afraid to be the first one to reach out. It shows your friend that they don't need to fear rejection.And when phone calls won't cut it, think about a visit. Visiting is one of the most important things we can do to keep a long-distance friendship going. There's no "right" frequency for visits, so talk about what works best for you and your friend.

Don't Hesitate to Reach Out

Separation is hard. Miscommunication happens. And because there's just a limited amount of time you get with your friend, it's easy to let conflicts go unaddressed.Try not to sweep things under the rug. In fact, addressing conflict is one of the ways you can become closer with your friend. But bringing issues up can feel scary.One common issue long-distance friends face is reciprocity. That's when one friend feels like they're putting more into the relationship than the other. The natural reaction is to back away, but, instead, try reaching out first.

Conflicts Are Natural and Healthy – Address Them Openly

Long distance friendships are a common reality of adulthood, as we move around for school, work or family. While they might require some planning and creativity to keep up, there's no reason to let physical distance keep you from staying connected.

4 tips to stay connected when your friends live far away : Life Kit

Remember, the customer service representative isn't personally responsible for the problem you're calling about. When you speak to a representative, establish that you don't blame them for the problem.

Separate the Person from The Problem

If you're met with a wall of business-sounding script from the representative, try to remind them that you're both humans. Use the representative's name when you talk to them. You can even mention what's around your surroundings to give them a brief glimpse into your life.Now that's two humans talking as opposed to a customer service representative and a person they have to deal with.

Show Vulnerability

It can be awkward to ask for what you want. One way to make the situation less of a tug-of-war and more of a collaboration: try using  "caretaking" statements, like "I appreciate you being patient with me as we figure this thing out."You're not losing focus on the problem at hand, but you're also signalling the work they're doing to help you. This kind of language can preemptively keep tension low so you and the representative can focus on problem-solving together.

Give Caretaking Statements

Calibrated questions are that give the customer service representative a chance to pause and take your perspective.You can ask, "what would you do in my situation?" or "I really wasn't expecting to wake up to this unexpected charge – what do you think I should do next?" This helps them collaborate with you instead of having a standoff.A quick way to lose trust? Asking for their manager. Instead, you want to have the representative advocate for you to their manager – and they can't do that if you're threatening to get them in trouble with their boss.

Calibrated Questions: Make Them Your Ally

<ul>
<li>Being stuck on an endless call-transfer loop from department to department can be frustrating. But don't lose your cool. You can show your annoyance without blowing up.</li>
<li>Remind the representative you're not angry with them personally, and say something like: I'm really frustrated. I just want to tell you what's been my experience so far!</li>
<li>It should go without saying – but remember to be nice! Lying or screaming isn't going to get you what you want.</li>
<li>You are trying to show empathy and get empathy in return. When you need to move somebody emotionally, then you can move what their decisions are.</li>
</ul>

Don't Lie – Be True to Who You Are, While Also Being Respectful

Asking to speak to the manager isn't going to get the results you want. In this episode, negotiation consultant Craig dos Santos gives tips on how to make a customer service representative your collaborator instead of your enemy.

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Marketing & Sales

How to talk to customer service – and actually get what you want : Life Kit

When we say, Im fine or Everythings fine, we’re denying our true feelings and experiences; we’re hoping to convince ourselves and others that everything really is okay.

We pretend to be fine to avoid conflicts. Sharing our true feelings or opinions might cause someone to get angry with us and thats scary or at least uncomfortable.

You also may have learned in childhood that you shouldnt need anything. Again, you may have been punished when you asked for something or your needs may have been ignored. When this happens repeatedly, we learn that we shouldnt ask for anything because no one cares about our needs and they wont be met.

Related to this is our desire to be easy going or low maintenance. Again, we dont want to be difficult (that might lead to a conflict) and we dont want to be a burden or need anything because that might drive people away. A history of dysfunctional relationships and fragile self-esteem has led us to believe that people wont like us (and perhaps theyll abandon or reject us) if we ask for too much or have complicated feelings. It feels safer to pretend were fine and be a dependable, cheerful friend or an easy-going daughter-in-law who never complains.

Why We Say, “I’m fine” When We Aren’t: Codependency, Denial, and Avoidance

Why We Say, “I’m fine” When We Aren’t: Codependency, Denial, and Avoidance Im fine. We say it all t

Why We Say, "I'm fine" -- When We Aren't

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