Parenting strategies for encouraging obedience in young children can vary, but here are some general tips that may help:Set clear expectations: Be consistent in your expectations and communicate them clearly to your child. Explain what behavior is expected and what the consequences will be if the child doesn't comply.Positive reinforcement: Encourage positive behavior by praising your child when they follow the rules and behave appropriately. Use rewards like stickers or a special treat as a way to motivate and reinforce good behavior.

Good Parenting

Model good behavior: Children learn from what they see, so it's important to model good behavior yourself. Be patient, kind, and respectful to your child, and they will be more likely to follow your lead.Use age-appropriate consequences: When your child does not follow the rules or misbehaves, use age-appropriate consequences such as time-outs or taking away privileges like TV or toys. It's important to be consistent and follow through with consequences when rules are broken.

Be the change you want to see.

Be patient and consistent: It takes time and consistency to establish good behavior patterns in young children. Don't give up, and be patient with your child as they learn and grow.Remember that every child is different and what works for one child may not work for another. It's important to tailor your approach to your child's individual needs and personality. Additionally, it's important to focus on positive behavior and building a strong, loving relationship with your child, rather than just on obedience.

Parents... Please be Patient!

Raising children is challenging, but worth every effort!

parenting

Parenting

Good parenting skills.

Without meaning to, parents can have a way of making children feel as if something is wrong with them. As <a href="https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/677714/sensitive-by-jenn-granneman-and-andre-solo/">parenting researchers </a>, we've seen this happen often with highly sensitive kids. Many parents see sensitivity as a bad trait — that it makes us look overwhelmed, passive, or even weak — and discourage it with <a href="https://www.cnbc.com/2019/11/01/5-phrases-parents-should-never-say-to-their-kids-according-to-a-psychologist.html">phrases </a>like "Stop crying!" or "Shake it off!"

Kids Who Do These 12 Things Have Highly Sensitive Brians

But <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC9283459/">psychologists and neuroscientists have found </a>that, in the right environment, kids with highly sensitive brains have rare advantages.

Not only do highly sensitive kids show more <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/327774995_Sensitive_individuals_are_more_creative">creativity </a>, <a href="https://www.lernerchilddevelopment.com/mainblog/2018/7/25/ddnt-ever-say-that-to-me-again-do-you-understand-do-you-understand-how-to-respond-to-highly-sensitive-reactive-children">awareness and openness </a>than less-sensitive kids, but they possess an underappreciated trait: empathy. In one <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4086365/">study </a>, researchers had participants looked at photos of people either smiling or looking sad. They found that sensitive people's brains showed the highest level of empathic response.

The empathy advantage of highly sensitivity kids

Their brains also lit up more in areas related to action planning. This indicates that — just as sensitive people frequently self-report — they could not watch a stranger in pain without feeling a strong desire to help. And since sensitive kids are more affected by their experiences than their peers, they get more out of support, training, and encouragement. This boost effect makes them high achievers.

Here are the most common signs of highly sensitive kids: If any of these observations resonate, remember that it's a positive thing. Highly sensitive kids have an entirely different approach to their environment, and that is a strength.

Does your child have a highly sensitive brain?

<ol><li>They notice subtle details, such as a teacher's new outfit or when furniture has been moved. </li><li>Other people's moods really affects them. They easily absorb emotions from others, taking on their feelings as if they were their own. </li><li>They have a hard time shaking intense emotions like anger or worry. </li><li>They complain when things feel off (e.g., scratchy bedsheets, itchy clothing labels, tight waistbands). </li><li>They feel stressed and fatigued in loud, busy environments, like gyms or perfume counters because of the strong odors. </li><li>They hate feeling rushed and prefer to do things more carefully. </li><li>They respond better to gentle correction rather than to harsh discipline. </li><li>They make insightful comments and seem wise for their age. </li><li>They have a clever sense of humor. </li><li>They read people well and can infer, with surprising accuracy, what they are thinking or feeling. </li><li>They refuse to eat certain foods because of the smells or textures. </li><li>They startle easily at sudden noises, like when someone sneaks up on them. </li> </ol>

2. Other people's moods really affects them. They easily absorb emotions from others, taking on their feelings as if they were their own.

3. They have a hard time shaking intense emotions like anger or worry.

4. They complain when things feel off (e.g., scratchy bedsheets, itchy clothing labels, tight waistbands).

5. They feel stressed and fatigued in loud, busy environments, like gyms or perfume counters because of the strong odors.

6. They hate feeling rushed and prefer to do things more carefully.

7. They respond better to gentle correction rather than to harsh discipline.

8. They make insightful comments and seem wise for their age.

9. They have a clever sense of humor.

10. They read people well and can infer, with surprising accuracy, what they are thinking or feeling.

11. They refuse to eat certain foods because of the smells or textures.

12. ey startle easily at sudden noises, like when someone sneaks up on them.

Sensitive kids need time to think things through, and setting expectations gives them a choice: They know what will happen if they meet those expectations, and they know there will be consequences if they don't. It can be as simple as saying, "Today we're visiting grandma in the nursing home. We'll need to use inside voices and calm bodies because some people there don't feel well."

1. Set expectations ahead of time.

Because sensitive kids feel things acutely, their feelings become more easily hurt, and they can take correction personally. So rather than putting them in time-out, create a calm-down spot with comfort items (e.g., stuffed animals, a weighted blanket) where they can go if they have trouble regulating their emotions. After the discipline, give them positive affirmations and reassure them of how much you love them.

2. Practice gentle discipline.

As a parent, you're already teaching your kids emotional regulation skills every day by modeling how you handle your emotions, whether it's work stress or your child's meltdowns. The more intentional you can be about this, the better the example you set.

3. Be their emotional coach.

Talk about your kid's sensitivity with their teachers at the start of the school year, before any potential conflicts or misperceptions come up. And when your child uses their sensitivity (e.g., applying their imagination, showing empathy for a friend going through a tough time), tell them how proud you are of them.

4. Advocate for them.

Set aside time to talk and play with them one-on-one, separate from their siblings. Ask open-ended questions. For example, "What was hard for you today?" will create more room for conversation than, "Did you have a bad day?" Try to understand what your child experiences in their body and through their five senses. Their answers might surprise you.

5. Get curious about their world.

Parenting experts and authors Jenn Granneman and Andre Sólo share why highly sensitive kids are some of the most empathetic people, and highest achievers. 

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

mentalhealth

Mental Health

teamwork

Teamwork

scienceandnature

Science & Nature

Kids who do these 12 things have 'highly sensitive' brains—why parenting experts say it's an 'advantage'

"Courage starts with showing up and letting ourselves be seen."-Brene Brown

Author Quote 

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13588356-daring-greatly">Daring Greatly </a>is a book about having the courage to be vulnerable in a world where everyone wants to appear strong, confident and like they know what they’re doing.

Daring Greatly - Book Summary

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13588356-daring-greatly">Daring Greatly </a> sure was a surprise hit for me. First of all, if you don’t know <a href="http://brenebrown.com/about/">Brené Brown </a>, she’s a social worker, researcher, PhD and explorer of all things human, especially topics, or rather feelings, like courage, vulnerability and shame. Her <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability">TED talk </a> sits smack behind Simon Sinek’s <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/start-with-why-summary/">Start With Why </a>  on the top TED talks of all time list with 25 million views. This book, one of her three New York Times bestsellers, explains how vulnerability is at the core of all feelings – not just bad ones like fear, anxiety and shame, but also good ones like love, joy, and passion. She says that we could all use a little more vulnerability in our lives, because it’s neither bad nor good. It just is, and embracing it means being courageous.

She says that we could all use a little more vulnerability in our lives, because it’s neither bad nor good. It just is, and embracing it means being courageous.

<ol><li>Vulnerability means strength, not weakness. </li><li>Understand and verbalize your shame to make it go away. </li><li>Children can only become who you are, so be a role model. </li> </ol>Are you willing to open up and let this book into your life? I hope you are, because Brené’s ideas are very powerful.

Top 3 Book Lessons On Vulnerability

First, Brené makes two core points about vulnerability. <ol><li>Vulnerability isn’t good or bad . It’s not a black and white subject. It’s just a part of life and if you experience it, it means you’re able to feel things. </li><li>Allowing yourself to actually be vulnerable is a sign of strength and courage . It’s a lot easier to avoid the things that might make you vulnerable, rather than lean into them. But that also means we’re missing out on a lot of good things. </li> </ol>

Lesson 1: If you can be vulnerable, it means you’re strong.

For example, if you’ve ever loved someone you know that being in love makes you very vulnerable. You allow someone into your heart and give them incredible power, which includes the power to hurt you. But only if you accept this state of vulnerability do you have a shot at all the love, joy and kindness you might experience from that relationship. This means vulnerability isn’t just the source of pain and grief, but also the root of many positive emotions.

Note:  I’m getting coffee with a girl I haven’t really seen in six years today. I was in love with her in high school and it scares the shit out of me to see her again. But if I don’t go I’ll never know why, so my best bet is to go there, be vulnerable, show myself and see what’s to come.

Second, you could hide from the things that make you vulnerable. The responsibility for a project at work. The girl or guy you haven’t seen in forever. <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/the-war-of-art-summary/">The art you want to create </a>. But you know that’s a cop out. Leaning into vulnerability is something only the strong, the truly courageous can do.

What’s worse than completely bombing a speaking gig? Being ashamed about bombing a speaking gig and never doing one again. There’s a quote that goes “Failure is temporary, giving up is what makes it permanent.” Shame is what makes you give up. “I’m ashamed that I wasn’t there for my son when he was little.” “I’m ashamed I didn’t try harder at being a good wedding planner.”

Lesson 2: Build a resilience to shame by understanding it

“I’m ashamed at work, because my co-workers talk about me behind my back.” Have you thought any of these? Or other variations? I bet you have. But have you said them? Try it. I just did this morning. There’s a certain level of ridicule to be found in every single shame you express. Pinpointing what actually makes you feel ashamed and saying it out loud takes a lot of power from shame .

Nobody wants to talk about shame. It’s uncomfortable. But the less you do, the more power it has. Instead, pull at it. Drag it out. Throw it into the light. And address it directly. You’ll see things aren’t as worrisome as they seem and that you can live past failure.

Whether you have kids or not, I thought this was worth taking away. Your children can only inherit qualities you possess yourself . If you’re sloppy, your children will be sloppy. If you’re organized, your children will be organized. And if you’re constantly shame-ridden, you’ll traumatize your kids by making them feel the same. If you’ve been bullied, threatened or otherwise traumatized as a kid, you know that most childhood trauma comes from shame. Shame about an event, behavior, or even just about how others have treated us.

Lesson 3: Be a role model for your (future) kids

Therefore, it’s your job to make your home and family a shame-free zone . It’s the only way your kids will grow up feeling worthy, loved and able to truly be themselves. Instead of talking about values like honesty, courage and ambition, live them. Be honest. Be courageous. Be ambitious. The best thing you can do for your kids, born or not, is to be a role model. It’s all the parenting they need.

I think the reason Brené’s TED talk and work responds with so many people is that she went through all of the struggles she describes herself. When she first discovered that vulnerability was at the core of any life, especially any good life – she broke down. Researchers and scientists aren’t exactly out to be vulnerable. They’re trying to measure things so they can predict the future better. That’s quite the opposite, so it took some time for her to deal with this new situation and data.

Daring Greatly - Boo Review

You can feel that in her talks and writing. She’s not a bullshit artist. She’s seen the dark side. And she’s here to tell us not only that we have to do too, but that we can and that it’ll be okay. A wonderful person to learn from. I highly recommended <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/13588356-daring-greatly">Daring Greatly </a> .

The 15 year old, shy schoolboy, who’s being bullied, the 25 year old mother of this boy, and anyone who never talks about what they’re ashamed of.

Who would I recommend the Daring Greatly to?

Daring Greatly (Brene Brown) - Book Summary

This Daring Greatly summary explains why vulnerability is at the core of all feelings, how to overcome shame through speaking & what makes a good parent.

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

Daring Greatly Summary

Emotions it's how we react after gaining or losing. Don't get rid of bad emotions, just manage them.

Gain Or 

If you feel sad it's our mind telling us we lost something or someone important to us. It's a good opportunity for clarifying our values .

Sadness

The key to anger is to leverage it in productive ways.

Anger

"People who struggle with anger tend to feel a lack of control in other, more important areas of their lives. But rather than address those areas, they get angry at small stupid things that they do have power over"

Quote On Anger

Shame tends to make us self-obsessed. The best way to counteract shame is to focus on helping others, and the best place to start is to help others in the area where you feel ashamed.

Shame 

We fear uncertainty and change in our lives. Coincidentally, the most important things we ever do generate a lot of uncertainty and change in life. Therefore, fear correlates pretty well with importance.Therefore, as a rule, I’ve learned that the more afraid I am of something, the more I should probably act on it.

Fear

Unconditional love it's appreciating someone not despite their flaws and shortcomings, but because of them. It’s respecting and supporting each other without the expectation of some sort of payoff or benefit to yourself. It’s understanding that to love someone, you may not always like them, or even want to be around them.

Love 

Learn how to understand and manage your emotions: from happiness, sadness, anger, fear, and shame to—the most elusive of all—love.

philosophy

Philosophy

How to Understand Your Emotions

….. simply a means of urging people to do more of a good thing or less of a bad thing.Economics ultimately boils down to the study of incentives. Incentives are all around us, whether natural or manufactured (like by a parent, teacher, boss, politician or economist).Three kinds of incentives:<ol><li>Economic: doing something to increase your wealth.</li><li>Social: doing something to affect how others perceive you.</li><li>Moral: doing something because of your sense of right and wrong.</li></ol>

INCENTIVE 

A day-care center wanted parents to pick up their kids on time, so they levied a $3 fine for parents who were late. However, the number of late pickups actually doubled.. That’s because the fine was too affordable, sent the wrong signal that being late wasn’t a big deal and removed the parents’ guilt of being late. Without a moral incentive, parents continued to be late even when the $3 penalty was removed.

Moral Incentives 

<ul><li>Steven debunks the myth that drug dealers are all rich. In reality, crack gangs are very similar in structure to any business in corporate America, with a small number of people on the top making big money and hundreds of people on the bottom barely scraping by at all.</li><li> These people stay in the business because of the prospect of potentially moving up and making it big one day, which is the mentality that drives people like athletes and entertainers trying to move up as well.</li></ul>

Why do drug dealers still live with their moms?

<ul><li>Because of high-stakes testing, schoolteachers in Chicago public schools were incentivized to change their students' answers on test answer sheets so that they would not be fired or penalized for the poor test scores.</li><li>Similarly, sumo wrestlers in Japan are incentivized through bribes and social incentives to cheat and throw certain important matches (to allow other wrestlers to win) so other wrestlers do not drop in the rankings.</li></ul>

What do schoolteachers and sumo wrestlers have in common?

<ul><li>Parents are more afraid of gun than of swimming pool. But there is 1 child drowning per every 11,000 backyard pools (550 drownings per year from 6 million pools) compared with 1 child killed for every 1,000,000+ guns (175 child deaths per year from 200m+ guns in the US).</li><li>By these numbers, swimming pools are 90 to 100 times more dangerous to children than guns</li><li>We human are horrible at assessing risks.</li></ul>

Which Is More Dangerous Swimming pool or gun?

If we feel in control, we view things as safer. We prefer to drive a car than fly, even though there are far more deaths from car crashes than from plane crashes. When we’re in the driver’s seat we feel in control, but in a plan we relinquish all control to the pilot, so it feels riskier.

CONTROL

We weight the things that could kill us now more heavily than the things that could kill us in the future. A terrorist can kill us right now, but eating too much McDonald’s won’t kill us for a few decades.

PRESENT VS FUTURE

We see the news stories of the horrific plane crashing into the side of a mountain or the kid playing with a gun that accidentally goes off, so these feel more likely compared to the guy who fell asleep in a car and quietly veers off the road or the child who drowns in the pool without any news coverage.A simple equation might be: <a href="https://www.psandman.com/handouts/sand44.pdf">Risk = Hazard + Outrage</a>

AVAILABILITY

<ul><li>Stetson Kennedy, a man who infiltrated the 1940s KKK and published much of their secret information, thereby erasing the informational advantage they had that made people fear them.</li><li>Real estate agents also have an informational advantage over their clients, and they often use this to their advantage, selling houses for less than they are worth so that they can close a deal quickly because they have less to gain from a higher sale than the sellers do.</li></ul>

How the Ku Klux Klan is similar to real estate agents?

<ul><li>Parenting methods that entail specific actions (such as taking one’s child to museums, spanking the child, reading to the child every night, etc.) play little to no role in the child’s development, whereas there are many parental qualities (such as the parents’ level of education, their age at the time of having children, etc.) that have a demonstrable influence on a child’s development.</li><li>Such data suggest that genetics plays a larger role in a child’s development than parental nurture does.</li></ul>

WHAT MAKES A PERFECT PARENT?

<ul><li>Chances are, we’ve all been cheated at one point or another, probably by a repairman who overcharged us or an expert who gave us bad advice. Experts have an informational advantage over the average person. </li><li>Experts often abuse information asymmetry between themselves and consumers, but things like the internet are working to erase this information imbalance by providing more information to everyday people.</li></ul>

EXPERTS AREN’T ALWAYS THE GOOD GUYS

Which is more dangerous, a gun or a swimming pool? What do schoolteachers and sumo wrestlers have in common? Why do drug dealers still live with their moms? How much do parents really matter? Freakonomics will literally redefine the way we view the modern world.

En esta obra, Levitt y Dubner demuestran, a través de ejemplos y una sarcástica perspicacia, que la economía representa el estudio de los incentivos. ¿Qué resulta más peligroso: una pistola o una piscina? ¿Qué tienen en común un maestro de escuela y un luchador de sumo? ¿Por qué continúan los traficantes de drogas viviendo con sus madres? ¿En qué se parecen el Ku Kux Klan a los agentes inmobiliarios? Quizás éstas no sean las típicas preguntas que se formula un experto en economía, pero Steven D. Levitt y Stephen J. Dubner no son unos economistas muy típicos. Se trata de especialistas que estudian la esencia y los enigmas de la vida cotidiana y cuyas conclusiones, con frecuencia, ponen patas arriba la sabiduría convencional. A través de ejemplos prácticos y de una sarcástica perspicacia, Levitt y Dubner demuestran que la economía, en el fondo, representa el estudio de los incentivos: el modo en que las personas obtienen lo que desean, o necesitan, especialmente cuando otras personas desean o necesitan lo mismo.

Discover the world of business and economics.

economics

Economics

books

Books

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

En esta obra, Levitt y Dubner demuestran, a través de ejemplos y una sarcástica perspicacia, que la economía representa el estudio de los incentivos. ¿Qué resulta más peligroso: una pistola o una piscina? ¿Qué tienen en común un maestro de escuela y un luchador de sumo? ¿Por qué continúan los traficantes de drogas viviendo con sus madres? ¿En qué se parecen el Ku Kux Klan a los agentes inmobiliarios? Quizás éstas no sean las típicas preguntas que se formula un experto en economía, pero Steven D. Levitt y Stephen J. Dubner no son unos economistas muy típicos. Se trata de especialistas que estudian la esencia y los enigmas de la vida cotidiana y cuyas conclusiones, con frecuencia, ponen patas arriba la sabiduría convencional. A través de ejemplos prácticos y de una sarcástica perspicacia, Levitt y Dubner demuestran que la economía, en el fondo, representa el estudio de los incentivos: el modo en que las personas obtienen lo que desean, o necesitan, especialmente cuando otras personas desean o necesitan lo mismo.

Steven D. Levitt

Stephen J. Dubner

Freakonomics

<ul><li>Narcissistic parents try to fill their emotional void through their children. </li><li>Being raised by a narcissist can lead to a variety of negative feelings and a compromised sense of self in adulthood. </li><li>Adult children of narcissists must grieve the loss of the "good enough" parenting that they never had. </li><li>Ambiguous losses are notable for the conflicting emotions they fuel. </li> </ul>

KEY POINTS

Bowlby and Parke developed a four-stage model of grief that focused on the aspect of attachment to the person who is gone. The stages include shock and numbness, yearning and searching, despair and disorganization, and reorganization and recovery. Bowlby’s research into attachment focused on the ways in which children form attachments from infancy. Looking at attachment as a means for survival, Bowlby’s perspective suggests that separation anxiety is driven by the abject terror of being abandoned by one’s parents.

STAGED MODELS

While narcissistic traits are the kind that drives away most people, children are bound to the narcissist by birth, and as they grow into <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/adolescence">adolescence </a>and adulthood, they may remain entangled in their narcissistic parent’s web. Bound by <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/guilt">guilt </a>and obligation, it can be difficult to move on and disengage. To do so, a clean break may be needed; limiting contact with parents and learning to ignore their calls and texts. Most of us receive a message to honor our parents and show them obedience, but narcissistic parents fail to earn their children’s respect due to the emotional disruption they trigger. Individuating from your parent and building your own sense of self may require you to consciously set aside any hopes that your parent will change and acknowledge that they can never be, nor have they ever been, the “good enough” parent that every child deserves. Accepting the loss of what you never had can free you to become the person you know you were meant to be.

Carving Out Identity in Adulthood

According to Bowlby and Parkes, grief commences with shock and numbness. Children of narcissists may be so numbed to the world around them due to the pressures that are put on them by their parents, they may not realize that their parents and their relationships are not like those of peers at first. Children of narcissists may already be emotionally shut down due to the parent’s controlling and demanding behavior.

Letting Go of a Narcissistic Parent: Shock and Numbness

Ambiguous losses take many forms including being raised by narcissistic parents.

Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents

Everyone wants the best for their children. These days, parenting is more a problem of doing too much than too little. We all know <a href="https://fourminutebooks.com/weird-parenting-wins-summary/">parents </a>who monitor their child’s every move and swoop in to protect them at any sign of conflict or difficulty.  This type of parenting results in adults who are incapable of handling life’s challenges on their own. So how can we avoid it?

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do - Summary 

There’s no shortage of “how-to” books about parenting. But <a href="https://amymorinlcsw.com/about-amy/">Amy Morin </a>, psychotherapist and author of <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33640760-13-things-mentally-strong-parents-don-t-do">13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do </a>, argues it’s just as vital that we know what habits we shouldn’t teach our kids. If we want children that are mentally strong we need to look first at our own detrimental behaviors.  In <a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33640760-13-things-mentally-strong-parents-don-t-do">13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do </a>, <a href="https://amymorinlcsw.com/about-amy/">Morin </a>shares the common parenting practices that are holding your child back and teaches what you should do instead.

"Learning how to manage emotions and endure unpleasant feelings are skills that can be taught."-Amy Morin

Author Quote

<ol><li>Encourage responsibility and persistence instead of a victim mentality.   </li><li>Don’t expect your kid to be perfect or immediately step in whenever they make a mistake.   </li><li>Parents who are mentally strong show actions that match their values.  </li> </ol>

Top 3 Book Lessons 

If you want a child that’s mentally strong, you need to start showing them what this looks like. One way you can do this is by not encouraging a victim mentality.  It’s natural for us to want to shield our children from things and defend them when they’ve been wronged. But it’s important to make sure you show them how to deal with life’s challenges instead of viewing themself as a victim of circumstance.

Lesson 1:  Help your child be responsible and persevere

An example <a href="https://amymorinlcsw.com/about-amy/">Morin </a>shares is a 14-year-old patient named Cody who was on medication for his ADHD. His teachers said the medication helped him pay attention and be calmer, but his grades weren’t improving. His parents responded by demanding he be given less work than the other students.

But the problem wasn’t in his workload-it was actually the result of <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/learned-optimism-summary/">learned helplessness </a>. His parents enforced the idea that his ADHD made him incapable, so he believed there was nothing he could do about it. When they recognized the problem and helped him feel like he was able to handle these responsibilities, he started trying and turned his grades around.

When parents are mentally strong, they don’t let kids shy away from assuming responsibility. Hold your child accountable instead of letting them blame others for their problems. In addition, let them practice resolving conflict on their own instead of always intervening, as this makes them more likely to blame others.

A lot of parents view their kids as an extension of themselves. Many secretly hope that if they push them to succeed in the things they didn’t, they can help mend old wounds. But pushing your kid to perfection is bad for their mental health. When you expect perfection, they start to believe your love is conditional and you won’t love them if they make a mistake.

Lesson 2:  Don’t expect perfection or step in to help every time they mess up.

If you want to make sure mistakes don’t destroy their sense of self-worth, help them <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/finish-summary/">try for excellence rather than perfection </a>. Make sure you don’t criticize too much. <a href="https://amymorinlcsw.com/about-amy/">Morin </a>says you can offer what she calls a praise-criticism-praise sandwich. This can be like, “Great job cleaning up the playroom! I noticed you missed a few blocks, but you did great at cleaning up your markers.”

When we expect perfection we also tend to micromanage and overstep, which leads kids to not learn how to bounce back when they make a mistake. Helicopter parenting leads to kids not knowing how to make decisions in adulthood and struggling with taking care of their own needs. These kids are more likely to have mental health problems, physical health problems, and do recreational drugs.

Instead of doing this, help them learn when they slip up that what’s most important is how they overcome problems . Talk with your child about times you <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/when-things-fall-apart-summary/">recovered from setbacks </a>so they can see nobody is perfect, and it’s okay.

As parents, we get caught up in the day to day problems we face. But how often do we step back and wonder if we are teaching them the right life lessons? Morin shares the story of a 15-year-old student named Kyle who got kicked out of his advanced school program when he was caught cheating. His parents couldn’t understand where things went wrong.

Lesson 3:  Mentally strong parents only do things that match the values they teach.

Kyle’s parents seemed to prize his academic performance above everything else, and they often bragged to friends and family about his achievements. Kyle believed that their reputation and his grades were more important than character or honesty. In <a href="http://fourminutebooks.com/maybe-you-should-talk-to-someone-summary/">therapy </a>, they realized they had indeed sent the message that he should avoid failure no matter what.

This example demonstrates the lesson that it’s important to emphasize the values you want to instill, and you can do this more with what you do than what you say. A 2014 survey found 80 percent of teens believed their parents prioritized achievement over kindness.

One way you can make sure kids know what values are important is to make a family mission statement. Have values you want to include beforehand, and with everyone’s input, make a short statement about what’s most important to your family. Post it somewhere they will see it.

You can also instill values early in life by explaining why you do good things when they are young. You can explain that you are making dinner for a sick neighbor because it’s important to do kind things for people. Through your example, your child will learn through this that we use what we have to try to make the world around us a better place.

<a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/33640760-13-things-mentally-strong-parents-don-t-do">13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do </a>is a valuable tool for parents of kids at any age. By following <a href="https://amymorinlcsw.com/about-amy/">Morin </a>’s practical advice and learning to be mentally strong ourselves, we can raise kids that will be able to handle their challenges in adulthood.

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don’t Do - Book Review

The 30-year-old new parents who want to make sure they are the best they can for their kid, the 49-year-old with teenagers that needs some help coping, and anybody that has kids no matter how old or young.

Who would I recommend this Book To?

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do - Book Summary 

This 13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do Summary helps you become better to your kids by explaining how to become mentally strong.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do Summary

Learning is a natural phenomenon that comes out of needs, interests, and desires. Forceful learning without any needs and desires doesn't last long.

WHY LEARNING FAILS

The concept of discipline that we all grew up in doesn't allow students to learn at their natural best. We, the educators, think of their natural abilities, not as a sign of their multiple intelligence, but as a hindrance to our task of completing the syllabus.

INDISCIPLINE LEADS TO LEARNING

Learning fails when studying starts. We teach; students learn; parents motivate their kids for only one visible goal: To perform better in the exam. Even I have come across teachers and parents who say, "Just two more years after 10th and life will be easier." We encourage them to study for the exam, and not to learn for life.

LEARNING FOR TEMPORARY GAINS FAILS

Teachers, under the burden of completing the syllabus, correcting the assignments, and appeasing parents, tend to teach for getting better grades than learning.

UNREALISTIC TASKS FOR TEACHERS

The examination emphasizes 'how much students know' rather than 'how students know'. Students, teachers, and parents know the solution to 'how much students know'. Very few are guided to 'how to know'.

EXAM CENTRED LEARNING FAILS

When the entire process of learning circles around the examination, the real purpose of learning fades."The real purpose of learning is not only knowledge but wisdom."When we realize the answer to 'why most students are eagerly waiting for sports and art period, half of the problems will be solved.

LEARNING TO LOVE TO LEARN

When there is nothing interesting, nothing desirable, then learning fails. 

Some days back, I overheard one of the seniors saying, "Learning is so easy. It is all about consuming the data inside textbooks.

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

strategy

Strategy

education

Learning & Education

#1. Put your children first#2. Accept different parenting styles#3. Be calm and focus on connection#4. Keep to regular routines within families#5. Develop a Co-Parenting Plan#6. Be open and flexible#7. When your co-parent won’t be flexible

7 Co-Parenting Tips for Children

During separation, children may experience big and challenging feelings such as grief, anger, frustration, isolation, and loneliness. It's important to acknowledge their emotions and be there for them. Support and stay in contact with your co-parent, to ensure your children feel safe. If your child can't stay overnight with the other parent, think of alternative ways for them to bond. Putting the children's needs first is key.

1. Put your children first

Co-parenting after separation is a complicated process that requires organization, communication, and flexibility. It's important to work together to navigate co-parenting challenges and find solutions that work for each family's specific situation. 

Learn why it is important to work together when it comes to co-parenting to ensure good family relationships in this blog.

7 Tips for Co-Parenting Your Children

Find 100+ Facts about Parenting & Child Care - Curated from sources like Books, Podcasts & Articles - Genuine Insights from like-minded Users like You!

Good parenting skills.

Kids who do these 12 things have 'highly sensitive' brains—why parenting experts say it's an 'advantage'

Daring Greatly Summary

How to Understand Your Emotions

Freakonomics

Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do Summary

WHY LEARNING FAILS

7 Tips for Co-Parenting Your Children

6 Signs Your Self-Control Issues Come From Childhood Neglect

It's time to
Read like a Pro.

Good parenting skills.

Kids who do these 12 things have 'highly sensitive' brains—why parenting experts say it's an 'advantage'

Daring Greatly Summary

How to Understand Your Emotions

Freakonomics

Adult Children of Narcissistic Parents

13 Things Mentally Strong Parents Don't Do Summary

WHY LEARNING FAILS

7 Tips for Co-Parenting Your Children

6 Signs Your Self-Control Issues Come From Childhood Neglect

It's time to Read like a Pro.

It's time to
Read like a Pro.