The dark is vital for your growth. Usually life is very contradictory. Identification of the dark side can be helpful. Knowing what affects you, what thought mistreats you, what behaviour takes you back in life then identifying it and countering it can help in self growth. Usually humans are contradictory and very selfish and when mixed with diplomacy usually become dangerous. The only offense to this, would be to able to counter the dark traits and using it for you

Dark Side 

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

philosophy

Philosophy

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

mentalhealth

Mental Health

Humans | A Path to Self-Growth

While there are many goal-setting methods out there (i.e., SMARTER, PACT, LASER, and the GOALS methods), following the 7R’s of goal-setting helps you completely plan out your goals.

Following the 7 R's helps to completely plan out your goals

To write your goals, focus on results and outcomes instead of actions and tasks associated with a goal.For Example:Go to the gym 3 days/week in 2024.VersusGet to a healthy weight (~120 lbs) in 2024.While they are both specific and have a deadline, the first statement is an action you take in order to get the result defined in the second statement.

1. Results and Outcomes.

What steps do you need to take to reach your goal? What does your timeline look like? What is your strategy? What objectives do you have?Planning out the steps to take and when to complete them helps to have a big picture and eliminates any procrastination or indecision because you know what to do next.You can further break down your steps into objectives. Objectives start with an action verb, are specific, measurable, and have a deadline. An action verb tells what you are doing.

2. Route to goal achievement

For Example:Goal: Get to a healthy weight (~120 lbs) in 2024.Strategy: I will go to the gym regularly and eat nutritiously.Objectives: Work out at the gym 3 days per week,Cook at home at least 5 days per week.Eat a 1,400 calorie diet & Track your food daily.

2. For Example

What do you need to reach your goal? (Time, energy, people, skills, money?)Your resources are often constraints that you need to be aware of. I mean, chances are you don’t have unlimited time and money to pour into your new business idea.So, defining what resources you have to use towards completing your goals is necessary.

3. Resources.

For Example:Goal: Get to a healthy weight (~120 lbs) in 2024.Resources: I have an hour before work or two hours after work when I could go to the gym. I might have more energy before work to go to the gym; so that needs to be considered. I already saved money in December to purchase a gym membership.

3. For Example

What are the daily actions and tasks you need to complete to reach your goal? What habits do you need to start/stop?

4. Responsibilities.

Stay committed to your goal, route, and responsibilities.

5. Remain focused.

For each step and objective, you reach make sure to have a little reward. By having positive reinforcements, you keep motivation high and momentum going.What are some rewards you could give yourself when you reach certain milestones of your goal?Side note, make sure your goals support your goal versus undermine your efforts.

6. Reward.

For Example:Take the same goal of reaching a healthy weight. Even though indulging in ice cream or going out for a celebratory dinner, including dessert, sound like yummy rewards, they don’t support all the positive healthy changes you have made, and they can easily get out of hand and result in eating too many calories and/or completely derail you off your plan.A better reward would be something that doesn’t involve food you are trying to avoid. Ideas: treat yourself to a massage, a manicure, purchasing a new pair of leggings to wear, or a piece of gym equipment to build your own home gym.

6. For Example

In other words, celebrate your win or revise your goal route and responsibilities and try again.If you achieved your goal, look back on all the hard work and celebrate your success.However, if you didn’t reach your goal, reflect on your attempts and ask, “What can you learn from your attempt and what could you do differently next time to give yourself a better chance of goal achievement?”And then go through the 7 R’s and create your plan, milestones, objectives, habits, and rewards, and try again!

7. Rejoice or Revise.

Following the 7R’s as you set your new goals for 2024 gives you a roadmap to success. Your goals go from aspirations to a strategy with tangible steps to follow. You know exactly what to do next, what resources you have, what habits you need to have, and what rewards you can look forward to.Keep your enthusiasm about achieving your goals, remain focused, and make 2024 a year of triumphs and transformation!

Final Thoughts

When setting goals for 2024, following the 7 R's will plan out completely how you will succeed

With 2024 just around the corner, I can’t help but begin to think about what goals I want to achieve in the new year. This time of the year is always full of excitement and possibilities. If you hit…

productivity

Productivity

motivationandinspiration

Motivation & Inspiration

habits

Habits

timemanagement

Time Management

The 7R’s of Goal Setting

•••We underestimate the value of making small improvements on a daily basis•••

*Why Small Habits Make A Difference*                            

{SMALL HABITS SEEM TO MAKE LITTLE DIFFERENCE ON ANY GIVEN DAY & YET THE IMPACT OVER THE MONTHS AND YEARS CAN BE ENORMOUS} It’s only looking back 2,5,10 years later can we see the value.

~Our Decisions do Make A Difference~

^^ WHEN WE REPEAT 1 Percent errors , day after day , by replicating poor decisions, and rationalizing little excuses, our small choices compound into bad results/ no progress^^

1% Better Or 1% Worse 

Making a choice that is 1% better or 1% worse seems insignificant in the moment but the choices determine the difference between who you are and who you want to be.

Tiny Battles Are The Ones That Will Define Your Future Self 

By your current trajectory than with your current results.

You Should Be More Concerned *

Systems are the processes that lead to results-Goals are the results you want to achieve.

-What Are Systems-

Become A Better You :) 

Your behaviors are usually a reflection of your identity. What you do is an indication of the type of person you believe you are .

Your Habits Shape Your Identity 

Is to change what you do. Each habit is like a suggestion maybe this is who I am.

The Most Practical Way To Change Who You Are

All big things come from small beginnings. The seed of every habit is a single tiny decision that is repeated .

// How To Start //

Focus on progress not perfection. Each day you practice a habit you are one step closer to making it a part of your life.

How To Make Your Habits [Stick]

•.• Turn on your do not disturb for a specified amount of time you choose•.• .•. Mute your notifications for a time .•. Each day is made up of many moments, but it is really a few habitual choices that determines the path you take. These choices stack up, each one setting the direction for how you spend your time.

-Break Your Tasks Up- 

The more you reinforce the identity associated with that behavior . The process of building habits is actually the process of becoming yourself. This a gradual evolution. .Micro evolutions of the self.

The More You Repeat A Behavior 

<ol><li>Use a planner or to do list </li><li>Visualize your goals. </li><li> Practice procrastination affirmations </li><li> Pay attention to your thoughts </li><li> Use the 5 minute Rule ( then over time add more and more time as needed to complete task) </li></ol>

*One Step At A Time* 

<ol><li>I can easily complete an action every day </li><li> I am confident I can finish any task I focus on . </li><li> My future self will Thank me </li><li> I am disciplined</li><li> I believe in myself </li></ol>

+More Daily Affirmations+ 

~Success in nearly every field requires you to ignore an immediate reward in favor of a delayed one~The more a habit becomes a part of your life , the less you need outside encouragement. To get a habit to stick you need to feel immediately successful-even if it’s in a small way.

Master The habit Of Showing Up 

The #1 New York Times bestseller. Over 10 million copies sold! Tiny Changes, Remarkable Results No matter your goals, Atomic Habits offers a proven framework for improving--every day. James Clear, one of the world's leading experts on habit formation, reveals practical strategies that will teach you exactly how to form good habits, break bad ones, and master the tiny behaviors that lead to remarkable results. If you're having trouble changing your habits, the problem isn't you. The problem is your system. Bad habits repeat themselves again and again not because you don't want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change. You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems. Here, you'll get a proven system that can take you to new heights. Clear is known for his ability to distill complex topics into simple behaviors that can be easily applied to daily life and work. Here, he draws on the most proven ideas from biology, psychology, and neuroscience to create an easy-to-understand guide for making good habits inevitable and bad habits impossible. Along the way, readers will be inspired and entertained with true stories from Olympic gold medalists, award-winning artists, business leaders, life-saving physicians, and star comedians who have used the science of small habits to master their craft and vault to the top of their field. Learn how to: <ul><li>make time for new habits (even when life gets crazy);</li></ul><ul><li>overcome a lack of motivation and willpower;</li></ul><ul><li>design your environment to make success easier;</li></ul><ul><li>get back on track when you fall off course;</li></ul>...and much more. Atomic Habits will reshape the way you think about progress and success, and give you the tools and strategies you need to transform your habits--whether you are a team looking to win a championship, an organization hoping to redefine an industry, or simply an individual who wishes to quit smoking, lose weight, reduce stress, or achieve any other goal.

problemsolving

Problem Solving

business

Business

James Clear is the author of "Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones" He writes about habits, decision-making, and continuous improvement at jamesclear.com. His website receives millions of visitors each month and hundreds of thousands subscribe to his popular email newsletter.His work has appeared in the New York Times, Entrepreneur, Time, and on CBS This Morning. He is a regular speaker at Fortune 500 companies and his work is used by teams in the NFL, NBA, and MLB. Learn more at jamesclear.com

James Clear

Atomic Habits

𝐎𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞'𝐬 𝐨𝐩𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐧𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐚𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞. 𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞, 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬. 𝐃𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲.

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐅𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰...

communication

Communication

loveandrelationships

Love & Relationships

leadershipandmanagement

Leadership & Management

Don't Let Others Define Your Happiness

"If your mind is empty, it is always ready for anything, it is open to everything"An empty mind is a boundless space, poised for any challenge, and receptive to the diverse wisdom the martial world may unveil.

Definition:the relationship between a person's mental or physical action and the consequences following that actionSituationYou and your girlfriend/boyfriend breaks up, you're overthinking it and your ex-partner is busy f**king others.Who's at fault?You. You're overthinking it, feeling down and now possibly even dragging yourself even lower.<ul><li>Don't worry, check below!</li></ul>

Karma

Nihilism:A philosophical perspective that asserts life lacks inherent meaning, purpose, or value.Satori-lism:Nobody care about you. It's a dog eat dog world where everyone fends for themselves. Life is already so difficult yet despite that you choose to love.Zoom-out:Situation > Humans > Countries > Planets > SS > Galaxies > Universe<ul><li>If you get in a fight, does it really matter when we're grains of sand in this world?</li></ul>[SS* = Solar System]

Empty Paths

"If you care about irrelevant things, that means u don't care about relevant things and if you care about relevant things you don't care about irrelevant things" - The Journey of E<ul><li>Time is of essence, we're dying. Don't take tomorrow for granted, don't let others take your care for granted.</li></ul>Reserve your care for what actually is important.

Chronicle

As the rivers and mountain flow, so will you! Your thoughts are rivers, don't negate them.Crystallized Thinking:<ul><li>Clear and organized thoughts formed through learning and experience.</li></ul>Flow Thinking:<ul><li>Free-flowing thoughts that move easily and feel natural.</li></ul>Initially, your thoughts are fluid, like water. With contemplation and repeated consideration, they gradually solidify into crystallized ideas.

Crystal Flow

Stop emphasizing your future or past. You're going to end up regretting thinking too much about not the present.<ul><li>You are not your thoughts, you are a spectator.</li><li>Your life is a garden and you are the gardener. Don't let the weeds grow. (Initial thought is negative, secondary should be positive)</li><li>Your life is a business and you are a CEO. Whatever happens is your fault.</li><li>You cannot control anything anything in this world except your mind.</li></ul>This world is about YOU

Here and Now

<ul><li>Homework: Go to the mirror, say "I love you."</li></ul>If you won't do it, I will do it for you steadLove yourself to where nothing affects you because you know it's okay!<ul><li>Lastly, leave it with God/Allah or any higher being.</li></ul>Sometimes its too much for us to handle, and I guarantee they have it covered.

Heavenly Hearts

Other's are leveling themselves up, why shouldn't you! All my information is priorly released on there!Check out the podcast »<a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/0bjamLoA5Ekt9AnRHAIeU2?si=9acf953c437844f8"> The Journey of E</a>﻿See you soon!

I build a foundation of knowledge so other can boost their days!

Listen to The Journey of E on Spotify. If you could snap a problem out of your life, what would it be? Mine would be social anxiety, low self-esteem, and developing relationships, life continuously steps on me. To this very day, I remember the days of me crawling up to the corner of my bedroom crying. While I embark on The Journey of E, I invite you to listen to the struggles I go through and how I've learned to overcome them.

mindfulness

Mindfulness

Ultimate Mind Mastery

Dear Readers,In this edition of "Life’s Edges," we delve into the profound theme of "Admiration in Professional and Personal Life." As we explore the delicate balance between professional achievements and personal connections, we invite you to reflect on the moments that inspire admiration in your own journey.

Admiration in Professional and Personal Life

Navigating the complexities of both professional and personal realms often involves learning from those who came before us. The symbiotic dance of mentorship fosters admiration, creating a tapestry of shared knowledge and experiences that propel us forward.

Idea #1 - The Art of Mentorship

Admiration blossoms in the garden of diversity. Whether in the workplace or within our social circles, embracing diverse perspectives and backgrounds enriches our lives. It is through these differences that we find inspiration and expand our understanding of what is possible.

Idea #2 - Finding Inspiration in Diversity

In the pursuit of goals and aspirations, it's crucial to acknowledge and celebrate personal achievements. Balancing self-admiration with humility lays the foundation for a fulfilling life, fostering resilience in the face of challenges.

Idea #3 - Balancing Self-Admiration

"As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others."

"Admiration is the daughter of ignorance."

What role does admiration play in shaping your professional and personal relationships? Share a moment when admiration became a catalyst for positive change in your life.

Reflect and Connect

Join us every week as we navigate life's abyss together. Life is an adventure meant to be lived fully, and "Life's Edges" is your guide to making every moment count. Step away from the ordinary and explore the extraordinary with us.Yours at the Edge of Life,Casaglia AlbertoEditor-in-Chief, "Life's Edges"

books

Books

Five immediate action steps:<ol><li>Get into people’s skin.</li><li>Think of yourself as the chief meaning officer.</li><li>Remove blockages from your people’s way.</li><li>Joyfully demostrate the “generosity gene”.</li><li>Make sure work is fun.</li></ol>Alignment and leadership: put them together, and it’s game on.

Key Truth-and-Trust Tactics

<ol><li>Own your whack.</li><li>Hang on tight to your best.</li><li>Get maniacal about the drivers of costs, performance, and growth, using data as your guide.</li><li>Reinvent our strategy process.</li><li>Reality-check your social architecture.</li><li>Worry more productively.</li></ol>

Whack-Recovery Advice

<ul><li>Eyes wide open.</li><li>Concentrate, don't dilute.</li><li>All hands on deck.</li><li>Match the talent to the task.</li><li>Keeping compensation fresh.</li><li>The competition inside.</li></ul>

You Gotta Have Growth

Familiar or not, let's get at each vital element by asking (and answering) the following four questions:<ol><li>Is our globalization initiative a win-win?</li><li>Are we sending people with the single quality they need the most, discernment?</li><li>Are we being real about risk?</li><li>Are we taking full advantage of our foreign foray's upside?</li></ol>

Globalization: It's Complicated

You don't need to be a math whiz to "do" finance. You mainly need to be curious. Decisions based on sound assumptions, decisions that have examined all the options, decisions that have looked under the hood.No matter what you do in your organization, be it in frontline sales, manufacturing, or HR, making good business decision is your job. To that end, the numbers are nothing to fear. And with variance analysis, they can even be your friends.

No More Fear of Finance

<ul><li>Place → profitable accessibility.</li><li>Price → a well-tested, constantly refined cost proposition.</li><li>Promotion → messaging that finds customers with laserlike precision and surprises them to boot.</li><li>People → an organization that deeply integrates marketing into every function.</li></ul>

Consumer Marketing

Principles of crisis management:<ul><li>No matter how hard you try to contain it, your crisis will get bigger and deeper than you think.</li><li>There is no such thing as a secret in this world.</li><li>Your handling of the crisis will be portrayed in the worst possible light.</li><li>There will be changes in processes and people within your company because of your crisis.</li><li>Your company will survive its crisis, and become better and stronger having done so.</li></ul>

Crisis Management

Leadership is simply about two things: <ol><li>Truth and trust. Truth is a determined pursuit, a personal and unquenchable fire, burning to know what is really happening inside the company and out. Trust is a muscle strengthened by daily exercise.</li><li>Ceaselessly seeking the former, relentlessly building the latter.</li></ol>

Leadership

Nothing good in business happens when you're alone on the field. That's why you have to get the right players out there with you. Once you've got the right people, you need to create an environment that motivates and retains them.

Team-Building

Geniuses are a cadre of employees growing in number and importance. Then there are the virtual-ites, working from home or the road, sometimes full-time, sometimes freelance, and also growing in preponderance. And finally, there are the time-stealers, like conflict-creator and uncertainty.You now have an arsenal of tactics and techniques to manage all three categories:<ul><li>Pepper your geniuses with questions and show them you care. Break projects into small parts.</li><li>With remote employees, get deliberate about communications.</li><li>With the thieves, fight back with courage and candor.</li></ul>

Geniuses, Tramps, and Thieves

We wish the kind of fulfillment for everyone. And it pains us that it can be so elusive.Dig deep yourself to understand what kind of "balance" you want in your life.. Analyze and assess.

What Should I Do with My Life?

Six action steps to help you demonstrate new and improved breadth and depth:<ol><li>Don't deliver. Overdeliver.</li><li>Volunteer for hard duty.</li><li>Acquire followers the hard way.</li><li>Make sure you're tech-current.</li><li>Get real about mentors.</li><li>Love everyone.</li></ol>

Getting Unstuck

this book is a guide to winning the game, building a team, and growing your career.

Business authors Jack and Suzy Welch return, nearly a decade after publishing their international bestseller, Winning, to tackle the most pressing business challenges in the modern world. From creating winning strategies to leading and managing others The Real Life MBA acts as an essential guide for every person in business today - and tomorrow. You can talk about theories, concepts, and ideologies all you want, but when it gets right down to it, winning in business is all about mastering the gritty, inescapable, make-or-break, real-life dilemmas that define the new economy, the old economy, and everything in between. My boss is unbearable. I’m stuck in career purgatory. My team lacks enthusiasm. Our IT department is incompetent. Our strategy is outdated. We don’t understand our Chinese partners. We’re just not growing. This is the real stuff of work today. In the decade since their international best-seller Winning was published, Jack and Suzy Welch have dug deeper into the world of business than ever before , travelling the world consulting to businesses of every size and in every industry, working closely with entrepreneurs from Mumbai to Silicon Valley, starting their own company, and owning and managing more than 40 companies through private equity. Coupled with Jack’s 20 years of iconic leadership at GE and Suzy’s tenure as editor of the Harvard Business Review, their new database of knowledge infuses the pages of The Real Life MBA with fresh, relevant stories and equally powerful solutions.

Discover the world of business and economics.

economics

Economics

teamwork

Teamwork

Jack Welch

Suzy Welch

The Real-Life MBA: The no-nonsense guide to winning the game, building a team and growing your career

Ask a ten-year-old what you should do if you catch a cold and the child would immediately recommend getting into bed and drinking chicken soup. Children also know that if you break a bone in your leg you need to get a cast on it so it mends correctly.But ask an adult what you should do to ease the sharp pain of rejection, the devastating ache of loneliness, or the bitter disappointment of failure and the person would know little about how to treat these common psychological injuries.

<ul><li class="ql-align-justify">While in every house we have a medicine cabinet full of stuff for treating basic physical illnesses, we have no such toolkit for the minor psychological injuries we sustain in daily life.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Consequently, we do little to treat the small psychological wounds we experience daily, neglecting them until they become severe enough to impair our functioning.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Applying emotional first aid to such injuries can prevent many of them from affecting our mental health and emotional wellbeing.</li></ul>

The Medicine Cabinet

Once we know psychological aspirins do exist, we'd be foolish not to use them.

The Emotional Cuts and Scrapes of Daily LifeIt's the most common emotional wound, and some are so severe they create deep cuts. Also, we tend to always underestimate its pain: but, if untreated, it could affect thinking and erode self-esteem. And it rejects reason and logic.

Rejection

Rejections can cause 4 different psychological wounds:<ol><li>Emotional pain based on evolutionary past, as we are social animals.</li><li>Anger and aggressive behaviours towards others and ourselves.</li><li>Damaged self-esteem, carried on by extreme self-criticism and the tendency to draw conclusions.</li><li>Threatening out need to belong.</li></ol>

Rejection: Wounds

<ol><li>Argue with Self-Criticism with suitable counterarguments; useful as thoughts arise, or as a written exercise.</li><li>Revive your Self-Worth by writing a list of your traits you highly value, and explain why they're important to you.</li><li>Replenish feelings of social connection by being involved in new social groups, or setting up social snacks: photos, reminders of significant emotional connection.</li></ol>

Rejection: Exercises

Relationship Muscle WeaknessIn the era of connection, we are more lonely than ever. It's not the quantity of relationships, but their quality.Chronic loneliness has an effect on healt similar to cigarette smoking! And it's contagious!Loneliness causes us to become too self-critical, and behave in self-defeating ways, in a vicious cycle.

Loneliness

The psychological wounds are:<ol><li>Painful misperception, with a more negative assessment of our social network and self-worth.</li><li>Self-defeating prophecies, as self-protection and avoidance will push away people we hope to engage.</li><li>Atrophied relationship muscles, as we stop exercising the skill set required for healthy relationships, and we forget how to do It.</li></ol>

Loneliness: Wounds

<ol><li>Challenge Negative Perceptions by purposefully visualizing realistic success scenarios, not jumping at conclusions, and taking action actively.</li><li>Identify Self-Defeating Behaviours by stopping and reflecting mindfully on our ways of interaction.</li><li>Take Other Person's Perspective, not just focusing on our POV or thinking we already know what the other person thinks.</li><li>Deepen Emotional Bonds by improving empathy, taking other person's perspective, understanding the context, and communicating carefully.</li><li>Create Opportunities for Social Connection, volunteering, using internet...</li><li>Adopt Animals.</li></ol>

Loneliness: Exercises

Walking in BrokenLoss and trauma are inevitable parts of life. Most of them have only short term effects, however the same loss can have different meanings to different people.We all face similar challenges when it comes to recovery, reset and go back to full functionality

Loss And Trauma

There are four psychological wounds:<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Life interrupted: we face a series of new "firsts" without the lost person, or after the trauma, each of them evoking memories and pain.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Identity interrupted: a new reality must be accepted, a redefinition of ourselves.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Beliefs interrupted: our struggle to make sense of what happened may result in a "crisis of faith".</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Relationships interrupted: many of us respond to loss by withdrawing into ourselves.</li></ol>

Loss And Trauma: Wounds

<ol><li>Soothing Emotional Pain following our Natural inclinations, sharing thoughts or feelings at our own pace.</li><li>Recovering Lost Aspects of Self, overcoming avoidance of situations and interactions that were a significant aspect of our lives, but that could remind of the trauma or loss. Explore this in writing, listing your qualities and characteristics and abilities you valued in yourself, and trying to follow up on them.</li><li>Finding Meaning in Tragedy, in two steps: sense making first, benefit finding then. Think of Why the thing happened, not How. Think of What might have been.</li></ol>

Loss And Trauma: Exercises

The Poison in Our SystemGuilt is a useful feeling, as it helps us maintain our individual standards of behavior, and protects our most valued relationships.But when it gets too much, not proportional to the "wrong" action, and persistent - it becomes a psychological villain.Unhealthy guilt occurs typically in our relationships, in 3 primary forms:<ul><li>Unresolved guilt, when we're unable to properly apologize.</li><li>Survivor guilt, without a clear wrongdoing, even just for being luckier than others.</li><li>Separation/disloyalty guilt, about moving forward with life and leaving others behind.</li></ul>

Guilt

It's urgent to treat unresolved or eccessive guilt, as it ends up making us condemn not only our actions but our entire selves, leading to self-loathing and low self-esteem.There are 2 types of wounds:<ol><li>Self-Condemnation, preventing us from feeling good anymore, killing joy in our lives, sometimes leading to self-sabotaging.</li><li>Blocked Relationships, as guilt impacts our behavior around the other person, and often affects others' behaviors as well. And we end up avoiding those painful interactions.</li></ol>

Guilt: Wounds

<ol><li>Effectively Apologize, with 3 basic ingredients: a statement of regret; a clear "I'm Sorry" part; a request for forgiveness. Validate the other person's feelings, listening and trying to change your perspective. Offer compensation. Acknowledge that you violated norms and expectations.</li><li>Forgive Yourself: rethink about the event, as realistically as possible, removing judgements and excuses. Summarize the harm to the other person. Then, think about your original intentions. Any extenuating circumstance. Try to change to avoid repeating the errore.</li><li>Reengage in Life.</li></ol>

Guilt: Exercises

Picking at Emotional ScabsWhen we face painful experiences, we typically reflect on them, hoping to understand and move on. Sometimes, however, we end up trapped in rumination, replaying the same event forever in our mind. Running endlessly but getting nowhere. And only negative experiences trigger this rumination.Rumination deepens the emotional distress linked to the event, and it's also linked to depression, stress and cardiovascular disease, eating disorders

Rumination

There are 4 psychological wounds caused by rumination:<ol><li>Supersizing Our Misery. Rumination leads to sadness and being upset, and sadness and being upset lead to rumination, in a loop.</li><li>Anger Inflation, as such loops can be caused also by anger. And, in these cases, they often have consequences on our relationships and interactions.</li><li>Cognitive Leakage, as rumination consumes large amounts of our mental energies, impairing attention, focus, problem-solving abilities, and motivation.</li><li>Strained Relationships, as rumination will have effects especially on the closer ones.</li></ol>

Rumination: Wounds

We must interrupt the rumination cycle.<ol><li class="ql-align-justify">Change Your Perspective: think of the events from an external POV, and focus on the why, more than on the how it happened.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Distract Yourself from Emotional Pain by engaging in absorbing tasks. Even small ones like a sudoku.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Reframe the Anger, interpreting what happened in a positive way - looking for the good consequences. It also works with sadness and other emotions.</li><li class="ql-align-justify">Go Easy on Your Friends, to preserve the relationships from overburdening. Don't discuss the same thing forever.</li></ol>

Rumination: Exercises

How Emotional Chest Colds Become Psychological PneumoniaWe face failure thousands of times in our life, it's not avoidable. The difference is in our reaction: we may give up too quickly; we may become frozen, passive and helpless; we may become so stressed that we can't think straight; we may keep trying until we succeed.How we deal with failure is crucial to our success and well-being in life.

Failure

Guy Winch offers great insights in our psychological processes, and gives suggestions to overcome the pain.

First aid for failure. Although we have bandages for cuts, chicken soup for colds, and ice packs for bruises, most of us have no idea how to treat day - to - day emotional injuries such as failure, rejection, guilt and loss. But, as Guy Winch, Ph.D., points out, these kinds of emotional injuries often get worse when left untreated and can significantly impact our quality of life. In this fascinating and highly practical book he provides the emotional first aid treatments we have been lacking. Explaining the long - term fallout that can result from seemingly minor emotional and psychological injuries, Dr Winch offers concrete, easy - to - use exercises backed up by hard cutting - edge science to aid in recovery. He uses relatable anecdotes about real patients he has treated over the years and often gives us a much needed dose of humour as well.

Emotional First Aid

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