Each of us has someone or several someones whom we would like to change. We may really like or love them to pieces, but there are some habits or traits we wish were otherwise. Sometimes the changes are relatively minor. We’d love it if they broke some annoying habits such as being late to everything, or finishing our sentences for us. In other cases, we want to make deeper or more fundamental changes to who they are. We want to change what American philosopher and psychologist William James identified as their “habitual center of personal energy.” That can never be changed by another.

“I Wouldn’t Change A Thing About You. Maybe A Thousand Things.”

William James claimed that each person has some central organizing interests, commitments, principles, or ways of being that orient us in the world. These define us in many important ways and function as our centers of personal energy. These centers can change over time, sometimes very intentionally and other times as a consequence of neglect or passivity. It is particularly painful when we see people whom we like, respect, and love suffer because of their personal centers of energy.

The Habitual Center Of Personal Energy

Consider a professional athlete in pursuit of a championship. Relationships, education, and social involvement, for example, are all secondary to that one goal. Their habitual center of personal energy is that goal and all that needs to be done to meet it. People or commitments that hinder that pursuit are often dropped. Reaching that goal may make that center burn more brightly.

Center Of Personal Energy Example: The Professional Athlete

People who do reach their center may set a higher but related goal or may see the result as inevitable and proof that they are exactly who they believe themselves to be. Not reaching that goal on their own timetable may provide incentive for redoubling their efforts and commitments. Others may not fare so well. When a person’s life has had such a singular focus but the goal remains unmet, an existential crisis may follow. Who is a person when their center is lost? Athletes who are injured in their prime face this question and will need to figure out ways to live its answer.

Out Of Center, Out Of Place

Consider another case of people who begin to struggle with addictive substances and behaviors. Alcohol, drugs, and certain behaviors are at the center of a person’s life in the worst throes of addiction. Relationships have been ruined, careers trashed, opportunities lost, and dreams shattered. No one sets out to become an addict, but over time, the need or want of substances and behaviors suffocates other parts of a person. What is left as a center of personal energy is a combination of self-recrimination, loathing, and grief.

Center Of Personal Energy Example: The Addict

In the cases of the athlete and the addict, the usual tactics of pleading, cajoling, shaming, and manipulating are not effective methods to change another’s habitual center of personal energy. One person cannot make another person change no matter how hard we try. Our efforts may have the opposite effect of what we intend. The motivation must be the person’s own. What are effective ways to change that center and to create a new one? William James is helpful in this regard though he is always clear the compelling force must be a willingness to act differently.

We Cannot Will Another’s Will

To begin to cultivate that willingness to change, James says people need to have two things in their minds. The first is a clear sense of how the present ways of living are incomplete, harmful, or not good enough and even wrong for them. Athletes who can no longer compete may feel lost in the world. The usual sorts of things that orient and ground people—family, friends, meaningful work and social engagement—may be missing. Perhaps the people who surrounded them during good times are suddenly gone in the wind.

Where There Was Light, Now There Is Darkness

On the other hand, most people who struggle with addiction become experts at listing all the ways they have messed up their lives, lost important relationships and goods, and perhaps most importantly, lost themselves or the plans for their lives. This recognition of their losses is a necessary but not a sufficient condition for change.

Where There Was Me, Now There Is Another

The second thing William James says people must have in mind to make genuine change is a positive ideal that they long to compass or set as their points of orientation in the world. These ideals or visions of a good life may seem completely inaccessible or even impossible to people who have become trapped in that loop of wrongness and incompleteness.

A Polaris, Or North Star, Of Change And To Change

Athletes who have been largely sequestered from everything but their sport are at a disadvantage, starting nearly from scratch. They lack fundamental skills that many others take for granted. They may need to look to others who have made the transition successfully. They may need to use those stories as a starter or catalyst for beginning to craft their own positive ideal.

When There’s Nothing: A Starter And A Catalyst

Those who struggle with addiction and voluntarily seek help in some form may have positive visions from earlier in their own lives. They can accept the incompleteness of their present lives but take motivation from it to shape how they will act differently moving forward. They see what they can get back when they become willing to act in different ways. Others who have no ideals from their own histories may need to look to others who have made the sorts of changes they wish to make. Early in recovery, many of us hitchhiked on the stories of others.

When There’s Something: A Past And A Story

While no one of us can change the habitual center of personal energy of another, we can affect the conditions that will either hinder or facilitate change. We make it harder when we act in ways that keep a person locked in the loop of wrongness and incompleteness. We facilitate positive change when we help a person identify the ideals they long to compass, remaining ever mindful that our lives may temporarily serve as that ideal.

We Cannot Change Inside People. We Can Change Around People. 

“You must want to be different before you can change.” - Neville Lancelot Goddard

No matter how hard we try to change who a person is, we will fail.

Understand yourself and those around you.

psychology

Psychology

personaldevelopment

Personal Development

problemsolving

Problem Solving

communication

Communication

One Person Cannot Make Another Change

Productivity is a skill that can be learned.A shared Gmail inbox on steroids.Drag lets you and your team work together directly inside Gmail.Through a combination of collaboration, productivity, and workflow tools like:<ul><li>Kanban boards</li><li>Team chats</li><li>Shared labels</li><li>Email tracking, & more.</li></ul>

Drag app

Reminders — with a sting!Track any goal you can plot on a graph.Weight, exercises, time spent on an app, etc.As you enter data it’s added to your graph.Fall below your goal & you’ll be charged an amount you determine. Stay above & it’s free.

Beeminder

A new one I stumbled across this week while surfing the ol’ interweb.At first glance, it feels like the best parts of Notion, Slack, & G-Docs all rolled into one.A collaborative space built for remote work + tons of free templates to get you started.

Slite

There’s only one thing we can never have enough of — time.With Rescuetime’s automatic tracking & time management software you can:<ul><li>See a clear picture of your day</li><li>Measure where your time is really spent</li><li>Know the truth about what distracts you</li></ul>

RescueTime

Hive turns multi-step projects into simple workflows.<ul><li>Map out project timelines</li><li>Simplify complex approval processes</li><li>Utilize templates to save time on repetitive tasks.</li></ul>

Hive

I love being productive every day as it helps me sort out all my priorities very quickly. Being Productive is a superpower we all must acquire early in our lives. So, for this same quest, I keep…

productivity

Productivity

remotework

Remote Work

timemanagement

Time Management

teamwork

Teamwork

5 Free Tools That Will Make You More Productive In 2022

Most people spend so much time trying to understand their low self-esteem, that they don’t have any energy left to build higher self-esteem. If you want better self-esteem, focus on identifying and building consistent habits that will improve your self-esteem. Here are four pretty good ones to start with.

Self-esteem is something you can build with better habits.

The people you consistently spend time with affect your wellbeing and self-esteem too. If you constantly hang around people who don’t particularly like you, that’s gonna rub off and it’s going to be harder to like yourself more. On the other hand, if you spend a lot of time with people who genuinely like you and enjoy spending time with you, it’s going to be much easier to like yourself more.

1. Spend More Time with People You Actually Enjoy

Self-talk is a behavior. It’s something we do. And sometimes, it’s something we do so often that it becomes a habit. If you’re constantly cruel to yourself, you’re going to feel the same as if another person was constantly cruel to you. The best way to undo a habit of overly negative self-talk is to focus on one simple idea: gentleness.Be gentle with yourself and you’ll find it a lot easier to like yourself.

2. Practice Gentle Self-Talk

Having clear values means you have a well-defined vision for the things that matter most to you.The term values includes everything from traditional virtues like honesty and integrity all the way down to more mundane but still important commitments like maintaining your physical health through exercise or spending quality time with good friends.When your values are unclear, they’re not very motivating.

3. Clarify Your Values

People with low self-esteem are usually really good at keeping their promises to other people and really bad at keeping promises to themselves. They’re so concerned with other people’s wants and needs that they end up constantly compromising what they want. And when this compromise becomes a habit, their self-esteem takes a serious hit.True self-esteem comes from balancing the wants and needs of others with the wants and needs of yourself.In order to feel good about yourself, make sure you’re putting fuel in your own tank. And the best ways to do that is to keep your promises to yourself.

4. Keep Your Promises to Yourself

habits

Habits

4 Simple Habits for Better Self-Esteem

“Your eyes can deceive you; don’t trust them.”

“Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny.”

"Let go of your hate"

“Compassion, which I would define as unconditional love, is essential to a Jedi’s life. So you might say that we are encouraged to love.”

The definitive guide to the Star Wars universe. This fully updated, comprehensive, and detailed encyclopedia explores the characters, creatures, locations, vehicles, and technology found throughout the entire Star Wars galaxy. Ultimate Star Wars New Edition is an in-depth visual guide packed full of exhaustive information about Star Wars, including The Last Jedi, Solo: A Star Wars Story, and Star Wars: Resistance. All the characters are covered, from Darth Vader to Yoda, along with all the popular vehicles, such as the Millennium Falcon, and all the important events that provide the foundations for the exciting Star Wars story. Ultimate Star Wars New Edition is the ideal go-to resource for fans who wish to brush up on their Star Wars knowledge, and for a new generation of fans eager to start their journey into a galaxy far, far away.... © & TM 2019 LUCASFILM LTD.

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Philosophy

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Movies & Shows

Every significant Star Wars character, creature, location, battle, droid and vehicle: one ultimate encyclopedia. Packed full of information, stunning images, and now fully updated to include The Last Jedi, Solo: A Star Wars Story, Star Wars: Resistance, plus an exclusive look at The Rise of Skywalker. All the saga's iconic characters are here, from Darth Vader to Ponda Baba and Leia to Luminara Unduli. Amazing vehicles are explored, such as the Millennium Falcon and Ghost. Extraordinary technology is explained, including all your favourite lightsabers, and key events in the epic Star Wars story are richly unpacked, with behind-the-scenes insights. Ultimate Star Wars New Edition is the ideal go-to resource for fans who wish to brush up on their Star Wars knowledge, and for a new generation of fans eager to start their journey into a galaxy far, far away.... © & TM 2019 LUCASFILM LTD.

Adam Bray

Cole Horton

Tricia Barr

Ryder Windham

Ultimate Star Wars, New Edition

Ultimate Star Wars

It is the collection of 1000 hours of interviews, 6000 pages of transcripts from all over America by Bruce feiler.

The Life Story Project. 

The enter planet for the first time in century is going through the collective lifequake at the same time. Every single one of us is in transition. And yet no is teaching us how to master this time. Life transitions are skills we can and must master.

Conclusion. 

1. Begin with your transition superpower. 2. Accept your emotions3. Try something new4. Seek wisdom from others5. Rewrite your life story

5 Tips For Master Your Transition.

From this we can start our new life and also rewrite our story. 

How do you navigate life's growing number of transitions with meaning, purpose and skill? Writer Bruce Feiler offers a powerful way to handle uncertain, painful and confusing times -- or "lifequakes", as he calls them. Learn how to equip yourself with the essential tools and mindset to ride out (and rewrite) the toughest chapters of your life story, and turn unease and upheaval into growth and renewal. If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas: http://ted.com/membership Follow TED! Twitter: http://twitter.com/TEDTalks Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ted Facebook: http://facebook.com/TED LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/ted-conferences TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tedtoks The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world's leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit http://TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more. Watch more: go.ted.com/brucefeiler https://youtu.be/ICxYOe54Zx4 TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy). For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com #TED #TEDTalks

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Career

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Marketing & Sales

How do you navigate life's growing number of transitions with meaning, purpose and skill? Writer Bruce Feiler offers a powerful way to handle uncertain, painful and confusing times -- or "lifequakes", as he calls them. Learn how to equip yourself with the essential tools and mindset to ride out (and rewrite) the toughest chapters of your life story, and turn unease and upheaval into growth and renewal.

If you love watching TED Talks like this one, become a TED Member to support our mission of spreading ideas: http://ted.com/membership

Follow TED! 
Twitter: http://twitter.com/TEDTalks
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ted
Facebook: http://facebook.com/TED
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/ted-conferences
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tedtoks

The TED Talks channel features talks, performances and original series from the world's leading thinkers and doers. Subscribe to our channel for videos on Technology, Entertainment and Design — plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. Visit http://TED.com to get our entire library of TED Talks, transcripts, translations, personalized talk recommendations and more.

Watch more: https://go.ted.com/brucefeiler

https://youtu.be/ICxYOe54Zx4

TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy (https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy). For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com

#TED #TEDTalks

The TED Talks channel features the best talks and performances from the TED Conference, where the world's leading thinkers and doers give the talk of their lives in 18 minutes (or less). Look for talks on Technology, Entertainment and Design -- plus science, business, global issues, the arts and more. You're welcome to link to or embed these videos, forward them to others and share these ideas with people you know.

TED's videos may be used for non-commercial purposes under a Creative Commons License, Attribution–Non Commercial–No Derivatives (or the CC BY – NC – ND 4.0 International) and in accordance with our TED Talks Usage Policy: https://www.ted.com/about/our-organization/our-policies-terms/ted-talks-usage-policy. For more information on using TED for commercial purposes (e.g. employee learning, in a film or online course), please submit a Media Request at https://media-requests.ted.com

The Secret to Mastering Life's Biggest Transitions | Bruce Feiler | TED

Write Your To-do List On Paper: Writing your tasks on a sheet of paper and keeping it at a visible range, will help your stay focused.

Write Your To-do List On Paper

This may sound limiting, especially in this era of remote work and freelancing. The idea is to have a space, place, or, sometimes outfit that puts you in work mode, even if you are a freelancer or globetrotter. Having this in place will help program your mind to switch into work mode easily.

Have Designated Workspace 

If the nature of your work permits it, and most work does, take all your work offline. This will keep your brain at an optimal level of functioning. Some professionals use devices that block out the Internet, i.e, EMP, in their work area, to help them maintain selective attention for a long time.

Take Your Work Offline 

If you can’t take your work offline, don’t connect any social media account to your desktop.  Connect only your work to the Internet. Also, muting your email notifications will help you focus more.

Don't Connect Your Social Media Accounts To Your Desktop 

Taking a significant break after a long period of focused work beats short intermittent breaks. Short intermittent breaks aren’t bad, they can help to prep the mind when the brain wants to switch to a task with similar technical responsibilities but different outcomes, etc. But a long break that has no work interference or thoughts will rest, nourish and reinvigorate the brain, therefore creatives, innovators, etc get insight and novel understanding after staying off their work for some time.

Take Long Breaks 

Productivity is a buzzword in work, business, and personal development spaces. We all want to be productive because it translates to efficiency and more income. These productivity tips aren’t new but…

5 Simple Productivity Tips To Help You Stay Focused

Only two kinds of egg-laying mammals are left on the planet today—the duck-billed platypus and the echidna, or spiny anteater. These odd “monotremes” once dominated Australia, until their pouch-bearing cousins, the marsupials, invaded the land down under 71 million to 54 million years ago and swept them away.

Do any other mammals lay eggs?

Scientific American is the essential guide to the most awe-inspiring advances in science and technology, explaining how they change our understanding of the world and shape our lives.

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History

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Science & Nature

Extreme Monotremes: Why Do Egg-Laying Mammals Still Exist?

In flight, the fastest bird is the spine-tailed swift of Siberia which can reach speeds in excess of 100 miles per hour, but the fastest bird in the water is the Gentoo penguin, which swims at about 22 mph.

Which bird is the fastest swimmer?

The Fascinating Things About Creatures That Swim • The National Wildlife Federation Blog

By 285 CE the Roman Empire had grown so vast that it was no longer feasible to govern all the provinces from the central seat of Rome. The Emperor Diocletian divided the empire into halves with the Eastern Empire governed out of Byzantium (later Constantinople) and the Western Empire governed from Rome.

Who divided the roman empire in half?

The Western Roman Empire is the modern-day term for the western half of the Roman Empire after it was divided in two by the emperor Diocletian (r. 284-305...

artsandculture

Society, Arts & Culture

Western Roman Empire

Dream Analysis and Interpretation Are Imperfect SciencesUnderstanding the deeper meaning of dreams can bring about realizations about how you feel and think, which can be beneficial for providing personal insight.

9 Common Dreams and What They Mean

Analyzing dream symbols and ascribing meaning to them has become a source of both entertainment and self-reflection in popular culture.What your dreams tell you and whether they reveal your true feelings depends on various factors. While some modern theories of dreams suggest that the answer is no—that dreams may have a more biological component or even be due to sleep position—this hasn't stopped interpreters and analysts from attempting to identify what common dream themes and symbols mean.

Understanding Dream Interpretations

Researchers have found that the most common dreams involve being attacked or chased, being late, loved ones dying, falling, flying, school, and sex.Let's take a closer look at some of the most common dreams and what dream interpretation books have to say about them.

Most Common Dreams

While there is a popular myth that if you hit the ground in your dream you will die in real life, it simply is not true. So what exactly could dreams about falling really mean?Falling dreams may be a sign that something in your life isn't going well. It might suggest that you need to rethink a choice, for instance, or consider a new direction in some area of your life.Falling may be an expression of a need to let yourself go more and enjoy life more.

1. Dreams About Falling

Have you ever had one of those awkward dreams where you show up at school or the office in your birthday suit? Don't worry. Dreaming about being naked is hardly unusual.Dreaming of public nudity might indicate that you feel like a phony or that you are afraid of revealing your imperfections and shortcomings.

2. Dreams About Being Naked in Public

Dreams about being chased may suggest that you are trying to avoid something in your daily life. It might indicate a desire to escape from your own fears or desires.The key to understanding what such a dream might mean depends partly on the identity of your pursuer. If it is:<ul><li> An animal: You might be hiding from your own anger, passions, and other feelings.</li><li>An unknown chaser: If your pursuer is a mysterious, unknown figure, it might represent a childhood experience or past trauma.</li><li>A member of the opposite sex: This may mean you are afraid of love or haunted by a past relationship.</li></ul>

3. Dreams About Being Chased

Dreaming about losing teeth can have multiple meanings.It might mean that you are worried about your attractiveness or appearance. It may also indicate that you are concerned about your ability to communicate, or that you are concerned that you might have said something embarrassing.The real essence of teeth is their ability to bite through, to cut, tear, and grind. If your teeth fall out, you lose personal power and your ability to be assertive, decisive, and self-protective.

4. Dreams About Losing Teeth

Dreams about dying may reflect anxiety about change or a fear of the unknown.Like death, change can be scary because—also like death—we do not know what is 'on the other side' of the change, which is why the dreaming mind may equate change with death.Dreaming about the death of a loved one can reflect a similar fear of change, especially with regard to our children. As a child grows up, a parent's mind begins to wonder where the younger version of the child went.

5. Dreams About Dying

Taking an exam in your dream might reveal an underlying fear of failure.Examinations are stressful experiences in which you are made to face up to your shortcomings. To dream of failing an exam, being late for one, or being unprepared  may show that you feel unprepared for the challenges of waking life.

6. Dreams About Taking a Test

While these dreams might be the reflection of fears of infidelity, such dreams probably don't mean that your spouse is cheating or will cheat.Dreams about infidelity may indicate issues with trust, loyalty, and communication in a relationship. If you or your partner cheated in your dream, may mean that one of you isn't getting what you need from that relationship right now.

7. Dreams About Infidelity

Flying dreams can be exciting and even liberating, but they can also sometimes be quite frightening (especially for those afraid of heights).Dreams about flying often have two very different sides. They can represent feelings of freedom and independence. On the other hand, they can also indicate a desire to flee or escape from the realities of life.Because flying often involves positive feelings of pleasure, flying may depict our sexuality…especially aspects of it expressing freedom from social norms and restraints.

8. Dreams About Flying

Dream interpreters often suggest that dreams about pregnancy represent everything from creativity to fear. Pregnancy dreams might sometimes represent a woman's fears of being an inadequate mother.Another take is that pregnancy dreams may indicate that the dreamer is developing some area of potential or deepening a relationship, or that these dreams presage difficult times.

9. Dreams About Pregnancy

There are other dream themes that tend to be fairly common. They include:<ul><li>Discovering new rooms or passages</li><li>Being dressed inappropriately</li><li>Being unable to find a toilet</li><li>Arriving someplace late</li><li>Having a massive wave approaching you</li><li>Finding money</li></ul>

More Common Dream Themes

How do you analyze a dream? The first step is to write down everything you can remember as soon as you wake. Dreams are often quickly forgotten, so jotting down the details can help aid in recall. Next, look at the dream's contents and think about what it might mean in your life. What association do you have with the events of the dream? What kind of feelings did it evoke? In many cases, you may find that your dream reflects the events or concerns of your waking life.

Analyzing Dreams

Psychoanalyst Carl Jung believed that if you dream about someone close to you or someone who is important to you, that might represent how you feel about that person in real life; whereas if you dream about a person you are not close with (such as someone in your past) or an unknown person, that person is more symbolic.Sigmund Freud suggested that the environment around the person you're dreaming about may matter as well, such as dreaming of your parents in places you would normally find a king and queen, which would be a sign of your respect for them.

What does it mean when you dream about someone?

There is no way to answer this question with any certainty as dream interpretations are both individual and subjective. They are individual in that the meaning of dreams for one person may not be the same for another. Dream interpretations are also subjective in that they are based on the meanings that you assign them, and these assigned meanings can also differ from one person to the next.

How accurate are dream interpretations?

The self-organization theory of dreaming implies that dreams are a reflection of one's physiological and psychological activities, thus providing important information about the person's thoughts and emotional state. Psychoanalysts can then use the person's dreams to better understand what is going on in their mind, perhaps on an unconscious level.

Why are dream interpretations important in psychoanalysis?

Some researchers theorize that regular, recurring dreams represent being frustrated about psychological needs that are unmet. Recurring dreams are also common after experiencing a lot of mental distress, such as with post-traumatic stress disorder.

What do recurring dreams mean?

In some cases, having vivid or highly intense dreams is a result of major trauma.Dreams that are vivid generally occur during REM sleep and could also be due to fragmented sleep, sleep deprivation, a sleep disorder, stress, pregnancy, or a medication you are taking.

What do vivid dreams mean?

“To understand the intricacies of life, study the antics of your dreams.”-Michael Bassey Johnson , The Oneironaut’s Diary “I am accustomed to sleep and in my dreams to imagine the same things that lunatics imagine when awake.”-Rene Descartes

Quotes on Dreams

What do dreams mean? Learn more about nine common dream interpretations, what some of these common dream themes mean, and how to analyze your own dreams.

9 Common Dreams and What They Might Mean

Find  Self Improvement Tips - Curated from popular Books like Atomic Habits, 48 Rules of Power, Deep Work, Rich Dad Poor Dad and way more!