Why Strong Chemistry Doesn't Always Lead to a Strong Relationship - Tiny Buddha - Deepstash

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Why Strong Chemistry Doesn't Always Lead to a Strong Relationship - Tiny Buddha

https://tinybuddha.com/blog/strong-chemistry-doesnt-always-lead-strong-relationship/

tinybuddha.com

Why Strong Chemistry Doesn't Always Lead to a Strong Relationship - Tiny Buddha
"The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is any reaction, both are transformed." ~C.G. Jung Everyone says it. They say chemistry is a must. I know I say it. But why do we say this?

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Chemistry and the different personality types

It very often happens that we fall in love, while feeling uncontrollably attracted to, with individuals who end up breaking our hearts. Anthropologists found four personality types, as follows:

  • the explorer: whose main trait is the curiousity
  • the builder: who is defined by his need to manage
  • the director: who is extremely analytical and narrow-minded
  • the negotiator: who sees the big picture
    A factor of major importance, when falling in love with someone, is how we perceive our childhood. We all tend to search for persons who can heal us from a memory or a pain lived at some point in our life.

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The lows and highs of chemistry

Feeling chemistry with someone can lead not only to successful relationships, but also to major traumatic experiences. Not being able to put your needs first, while accepting their drawbacks, only because you are immensely attracted to that person, can actually break your spirit.

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Choosing right your partner

According to dating experts, what makes the difference between a successful and an unsuccessful relationship is the trust, intimacy and, most especially, the willingness of each partner to meet the other one's needs. Therefore, next time you feel attracted to someone, try to also observe their reactions whenever you express your feelings or needs. This will be a major indicator of the success of your relationship.

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Choosing caring over chemistry in a relationship

Whenever you find yourself in the situation of falling in love with someone new, you might as well want to pay attention to more than the person's looks or financial situation. Identify your non-negotiables in terms of 'must be' for your future relationship and do not give them up. If they are not negotiable, then you are most certainly not going to be happy in their absence.

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The building blocks of a relationship

The building blocks of any relationship rest on compatibility and chemistry. All relationships have a combination of these qualities to a more or lesser extent.

Compatibility

Compatibility can be described as being together without conflict.

Two people can fit like a glove both conversationally and psychologically. For some, that connection alone can be enough to be happy and thrive.

Chemistry in a relationship

Chemistry is a complex emotional or psychological interaction. It is a natural rhythm between two people that cannot be forced or created.

While some people are content with a relationship that is compatible, others feel an intense desire for that chemistry. Figure out what feels right to you in a relationship and strive for that.

Activation energy

Every habit or behavior has an activation energy. The more difficult or complex a behavior, the higher the activation energy required to start it. The smaller the habit, the less energy you...

Smaller habits are more sustainable

Big goals often require big activation energies. And you get stuck dreaming about life-changing outcomes, instead of taking action. 

Stick with smaller habits. They require smaller activation energies and that makes them more sustainable. 

Environment design = catalyst for building better habits

Environments where we live and work influence our behaviors. Catalysts lower the activation energy required to start a new habit. And optimizing you environment is one way to catalyze habits: in the right environment, every habit is easier.

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Happiness and struggle

Consider the question: What are you willing to struggle for? Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out. Happiness requires struggle. The positive is the side...