The lows and highs of chemistry - Deepstash

The lows and highs of chemistry

Feeling chemistry with someone can lead not only to successful relationships, but also to major traumatic experiences. Not being able to put your needs first, while accepting their drawbacks, only because you are immensely attracted to that person, can actually break your spirit.

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MORE IDEAS FROM Why Strong Chemistry Doesn't Always Lead to a Strong Relationship - Tiny Buddha

It very often happens that we fall in love, while feeling uncontrollably attracted to, with individuals who end up breaking our hearts. Anthropologists found four personality types, as follows:

  • the explorer: whose main trait is the curiousity
  • the builder: who is defined by his need to manage
  • the director: who is extremely analytical and narrow-minded
  • the negotiator: who sees the big picture
    A factor of major importance, when falling in love with someone, is how we perceive our childhood. We all tend to search for persons who can heal us from a memory or a pain lived at some point in our life.

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According to dating experts, what makes the difference between a successful and an unsuccessful relationship is the trust, intimacy and, most especially, the willingness of each partner to meet the other one's needs. Therefore, next time you feel attracted to someone, try to also observe their reactions whenever you express your feelings or needs. This will be a major indicator of the success of your relationship.

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Whenever you find yourself in the situation of falling in love with someone new, you might as well want to pay attention to more than the person's looks or financial situation. Identify your non-negotiables in terms of 'must be' for your future relationship and do not give them up. If they are not negotiable, then you are most certainly not going to be happy in their absence.

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Every habit or behavior has an activation energy. The more difficult or complex a behavior, the higher the activation energy required to start it. The smaller the habit, the less energy you need to start.

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  • Soft language: it uses “I” statements and focuses on the actions that took place, how they made us feel, and what we want to happen.
  • Hard language: it starts with a generic hyperbole like “You always…” or “Why do you never…” 

The softer and kinder our words, the less defensive we become.

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Happiness and struggle
Consider the question: What are you willing to struggle for? Because that seems to be a greater determinant of how our lives turn out. Happiness requires struggle. The positive is the side effect of handling the negative. You can only avoid negative experiences for so long before they come roaring back to life.

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