How to Deal With Problems

Consciously acknowledge the problem and then accept responsibility for your part in it. This can allow you to begin actively and constructively dealing with any problem.

• Write down or list the problems and their causes. This can help you more readily visualize, accept, and even deal with a problem.

• For example, if you missed a mortgage payment, accept that you bear some, if not all, responsibility for this. Likewise, if you have bad grades, acknowledge the role that you played in getting those bad grades.

If you find yourself dealing with a problem and you are not sure what or who caused it, take a moment to think before you react. It’s easy to blame someone else for problems, especially when you feel challenged or overwhelmed, but blaming others is counterproductive and may even cause further issues. Take a moment to determine if the problem was caused by external factors (other people or things beyond your control), internal factors (something you did or failed to do), or a mixture of the two.

∆ External factors. If someone hits your car while it is parked in a parking lot, then this would be an example of a problem caused by external factors. You did not cause the accident and there was nothing you could have done to prevent it.

∆ Internal factors. If you arrive late to work because you hit the snooze button on your alarm too many times, then this would be an example of an internal factor. In this situation, it would be important to acknowledge your role in arriving late to work so that you can avoid making the same mistake in the future.

∆ Mixture. If your group gets a poor grade on a group presentation, then chances are that there are things that all of you could have done better, not just one person. Try to identify your role in the situation and take responsibility for it.

Many problems require an immediate or fast solution. By staying calm and giving yourself as much time as you have, you can find a quick solution to your problem.

• Remember to take a deep breath before you start reacting.

• Evaluate or assess the situation and any information about it as quickly as you can.

• For example, if your toilet overflows, you can check the tank or the bowl to see what the issue is. Likewise, if someone is yelling at you and it appears they might get aggressive, you can quickly figure out that it’s best to remove yourself from the situation.

Give yourself as much time as you think you have to break down the problem and react with a solution.

• For example, if you realize your insurance has expired and you didn’t get a renewal notice, call your insurance company and ask about the options to get coverage as soon as possible.

• Think about different solutions to the problem and then decide which is the most appropriate.

• For example, if your toilet overflowed, you can either call a plumber immediately or try and stop the water from running.

However, you might also want to try and stop the water by closing the valve on the tank and then calling your plumber or plunging the toilet.

• Consider other perspectives if the problem involves another person or other people.

When you sit down and acknowledge your problems, especially without blaming others, you may recognize some patterns in your behavior that lead to challenges. Identifying any patterns that lead to problems may help you more effectively deal with them.

• List anything that causes you problems. For example, “paying bills on time” or “excelling at work/ school.”

• Figure out what you have the power to change, which can help you start dealing with the problem.

Part of dealing with any problem is setting a goal to overcome it. Set goals to deal with your problems that you can attain. Use the SMART method to set goals towards solving your problems. SMART means: specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, timely.

• For example, maybe you want to handle your delinquent mortgage. Your goal might be “I want to settle my mortgage issue with the bank within the next two months. I’ll contact my lender and speak about the issues surrounding my delinquency and ask about what options are available to mean to get my account back in good standing.”

• Write down your problem and projected goal of solving it on paper. Visual cues can reinforce your willingness to deal with your problems. For example, you could write the following: “I spent my money unwisely and couldn’t pay the mortgage. I need to track my spending habits and get my account back in good standing.”

Keeping the expectations for outcomes to problems within reason can help you more effectively deal with them. Tying yourself to an unrealistic solution may set you up for additional problems and stress.

•Check if your expectations are realistic by looking at the goals you’ve set to solve the problem.

• For example, depending on how much your mortgage costs and how far behind you are in payments, you may not be able to pay the entire amount back in two or three months. Remember that you have to eat and pay other bills. Consider speaking to your lender, partner, or financial planner about strategies to effectively solve the problem.

• Maintaining realistic solutions minimizes stress that might make it difficult to deal with the problem effectively.

Being negative and dwelling on your problems isn’t constructive. Have faith in yourself and your ability to deal with your problems in a constructive way, which can help you more effectively deal with them. Use your past victories to help inspire and bolster your strength in times of trouble.

• Give yourself a chance to focus on what is positive in your life. This may put your problems in perspective and show you that you can deal with any challenge life throws at you

• Say a positive affirmation to yourself. For example, “I know I have a problem with my grades overall, but I am really good at chemistry class. I can apply my skills from that class to my other ones.”

• Surround yourself with individuals who also have faith in your abilities and bolster your willingness to solve problems quickly and effectively.