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Desiring a clean slate in January
At the end of every year, we may look back on the past year and think about all the goals we had set but did not achieve. Then we may make inflexible goals and promises for the upcoming year.
But this natural instinct may also carry some potential pitfalls. Before January is out, you may fail at all your resolutions. Then would start the feelings of disappointment and despair.
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Focus on the good
We should try not to see the previous year or the upcoming year as "bad" or "difficult". They're just numbers on a calendar. As you did the last year, try your best to achieve your goals in the coming year too.
Maybe we should stop being so hard on ourselves. The past year had many good and bad, and dull and ugly. But we don't have to focus on the bad. We can focus on the good because we know it is there. It always was.
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Get excited, not expectant
We choose to block our lives into chunks and ascribe meaning to January 1st.
It's not bad to look forward to the next chunk and what you'd like to plan. But when you set hard expectations for things to happen in a particular way, you may get disappointed when they don't.
The beauty of this life is in the varied shapes it can bring that are not in your control. That lack of control can feel liberating as it brings fresh opportunities. You just have to be open to it.
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Lighten the pressure
You don't have to assign the new year as the date with the pressure of being The Fresh Start. You can also set other points in the year, like your birthday or the first day of spring.
The best is to wake up on any random day and decide to do it. Give up drinking, or eat healthily or write a great novel.
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Don't attach meaning to milestones
You may attribute meaning to stages in your life - experiences you should have had at 16, 18, 20, 21, 25.
Things happen when they are supposed to happen. If you put in a fair amount of effort, there's little that would really knock you off course. Trust yourself to do what needs to be done, and it will all work out.
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