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The Trait of Assholeness: The sustained display of hostile verbal and nonverbal behavior, excluding physical contact.
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Every organization needs the no asshole rule because mean-spirited people do massive damage to victims, bystanders who suffer the ripple effects, organizational performance, and themselves.
Nasty interactions have a far bigger impact on our moods than positive interactions—five times the punch, so nasty people pack a lot more wallop than their more civilized counterparts.
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When we see someone break a known rule—like “don’t litter”—and no one else seems to be breaking it, that single “deviant act” sticks out, which makes the rule more vivid and powerful in our minds. But when we see a person break a rule and everyone else seems to be breaking it, we are even more likely to break the rule, too—because there is evidence that we can get away with it, or even are expected to break the espoused rule.
When one or two “bad apples” are kept around—and perhaps rejected, punished, and shunned—everyone else is more conscientious about following the rules.
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Enforce the rule by linking big policies to small decencies. Having all the right business philosophies and management practices to support the no asshole rule is meaningless unless you treat the person right in front of you, right now, in the right way
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If you can’t or won’t follow the rule, it is better to say nothing at all—avoiding a false claim is the lesser of two evils.
You don’t want to be known as a hypocrite and the leader of an organization that is filled with assholes.
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Keep your resident jerks out of the hiring process, or if you can’t, involve as many “civilized” people in interviews and decisions to offset this predilection of people to hire “jerks like me.”
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Organizations usually wait too long to get rid of certified and incorrigible assholes, and once they do, the reaction is usually, “Why did we wait so long to do that?”
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Even if people do other things extraordinary well but persistently demean others, they ought to be treated as incompetent.
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Beware that given people—even seemingly nice and sensitive people—even a little power can turn them into big jerks.
Accept that your organization does have and should have a pecking order, but do everything you can to downplay and reduce unnecessary status differences among members. The result will be fewer assholes and, according to the best studies, better performance, too.
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Effective asshole management means focusing on and changing the little things that you and your people do—and big changes will follow. Reflect on what you do, watch how others respond to you and to one another, and work on “tweaking” what happens as you are interacting with the person in front of you right now.
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Develop a culture where people know when to argue and when to stop fighting and, instead, gather more evidence, listen to other people, or stop whining and implement a decision (even if they still disagree with it).
When the time is ripe to battle over ideas, follow Karl Weick’s advice: fight as if you are right; listen as if you are wrong.
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Because people follow rules and norms better when there are rare occasional examples of bad behavior, no asshole rules might be most closely followed in organizations that permit one or two token jerks to hang around.
These “reverse role models” remind everyone else of the wrong behavior.
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Effective asshole management happens when there is a virtuous, self-reinforcing cycle between the “big” things that organizations do and the little things that happen when people talk to one another and work together.
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It is naïve to assume that assholes always do more harm than good. So this chapter is devoted to the upside of assholes. Beware, however, that these ideas are volatile and dangerous: they provide the ammunition that deluded and destructive jerks can use to justify, and even glorify, their penchant for demeaning others.
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IDEAS CURATED BY
CURATOR'S NOTE
The Reason for workplace toxicity.
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Learn more about humanresources with this collection
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How to navigate office politics without compromising your values
How to handle conflicts and difficult situations in the workplace
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