7 Things to Say to Help an Angry Person Calm Down - Deepstash
De-escalate Office Tension

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De-escalate Office Tension

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Calm Down

We live in a world where people get mad. Often, we tell the person “Calm down.”

Telling an angry person to calm down is simple and direct and about as effective as eating soup with a fork. The person doesn’t want to hear it because they can’t.

Of course, there is a way to help an angry person calm down. It calls on combination of using distraction and then moving into problem-solving. Now, since no anger is the same, no approach comes with a guarantee. But by being in tune with the moment and how the two of you relate, the following phrases can get to calm.


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7 Ways To Calm Them Down

  • “How am I right now?”(ask this yourself)
  • Nothing (As in, say nothing)
  • “Is it ridiculously cold right now?”(This question is off-center to make the person say, “What?”)
  • “That’s so frustrating.”(Avoid “I” or “You” because they steal the spotlight or put the other person on their heels)
  • “I wonder if it would help to take a walk and get some coffee?”(You’re leaving the scene and offering something else to do)
  • “How will that work?”(get them to think “What do you want to do?”It’s building emotional literacy)
  • “Shut up.”(You need to have a strong relationship)


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Know Yourself And Your Limitations

Whatever course you take and words you choose, ultimately, they need to be authentic.

Anything else will be blown off. “Know yourself and your limitations,” Abrams says.

“It might be good advice but it’s not a costume I can wear.”


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