5 Of Esther Perel's Best Tips For Dealing With Toxic Work Relationships - Deepstash

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Remind Squabbling Colleagues of Their Shared Goals

Remind Squabbling Colleagues of Their Shared Goals

One has to redirect a heated conversation onto safer ground. Remind your co-workers up front of where they align and the best-case scenario that could result from a difficult conversation. Let them come on the same wavelength by finding common ground.

It’s a tactful way to remind each person of their shared purpose when the conversation gets hard.

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Figure Out Your Own Conflict Style

Here’s  the dynamic that two business partners, and many other professionals, get stuck in:

“Basically, one person says, ‘Go on the attack,’ and the other person says, ‘Wait, wait, wait. Let’s think it through. Let’s strategize. Let’s see what is feasible to do.’ And then one will tell the other, ’You’re way too impulsive.’ And the other one says, ‘You’re way too slow and way too passive,’”

Once you can see your pattern, you can learn to observe when it’s happening and try to understand what your colleague is actually trying to say behind their hurt feelings.

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Pushing Back Against The Boss

Pushing Back Against The Boss

Simply saying NO to your boss can backfire. Your refusal could be seen as a sign of disinterest. 

It’s a helpful reminder that if you want to decline something your boss asks of you, you should offer a solution for where your talents are better used.

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If You Quit, Keep Your Story Positive

If You Quit, Keep Your Story Positive

Those who have a hard time with having quit a job in which they invested years of their life see the decision as a failure.

The language of how you talk about your exit matters. Before you can share the news with anyone else, you have to learn how to talk about it to yourself.

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Conflicts Are Also Valid

The only way the pair can start to listen to each other is when they start to examine the assumptions they’ve each made about the other. It’s a reminder to put individual relationship dynamics in their larger social context, because those are the stories that are always present in decision-making rooms.

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