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Texting suitable for basic communication
For the vast majority of time, people communicated with one another face to face and could interpret facial expressions, body movements and voice tone.
Texting gives only the bare minimum cues to understand what someone is saying. Moreover, texts are meant to be written and sent quickly, which leaves room for ambiguity.
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It's not you, it's me
Our brains don't like ambiguity and make guesses and form conclusions based on previous experiences.
The lack of nonverbal cues can cause us to interpret the text through a different lens. For example, we read text messages in our own voice. This makes it easier to project your own thoughts onto a message. If you have some anxiety about rejection in a relationship, you will interpret the text in line with your fears.
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Reflect on your emotions
After drafting a text:
- Notice how you're feeling and consider any potential ways your emotions could steer your message.
- Imagine how the text you're sending will make the receiver feel.
- Decide if you want to send your text.
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Evaluate your needs and expectations
Be honest about your needs. It can be easy to jump to the wrong conclusions based on your own thoughts, fears, or previous experiences.
Taking a moment to view someone else's behaviour with curiosity and compassion can help you overcome your instincts.
And if texting makes you feel stressed, you can always give someone a call or meet in person.
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