5 insights from behavioral science that can make you better at influencing others - Deepstash
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The glorification of busy

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Making it ok for someone to say No makes them want to say Yes

Making it ok for someone to say No makes them want to say Yes

  • The only way to make your dreams come true is to influence other people to change their behavior.
  • Trying to influence someone means you’re a threat to their time, money, pride, or social capital. Most importantly, influence threatens their attention. But when you make an invitation without any pressure whatsoever, they become inclined to lean forward.
  • Keep in mind that people are more likely to say yes to a face-to-face request, and far less likely to respond to a social media post. The pressure and likelihood of saying yes depend on the closeness of the interaction.

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Influence doesn't work the way you think

  • There are 2 internal systems governing our thinking and behavior. The first is fast, unconscious, emotional, and instinctive; these are your gut reactions. The second is slow, conscious, effortful, and seemingly rational; these are your deliberate decisions.
  • Because the unconscious mind is fast, it is the first responder. The conscious mind, being slow, is the second-guesser. 
  • We tend to overestimate the conscious system because it’s the only one we can experience, but the unconscious mind is far more powerful. Being influential requires us to focus first and foremost on people’s gut reactions.

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The best predictor of behavior is ease

The best predictor of behavior is ease

The biggest misperception about changing minds is that you need to do it at all. A lot of our behavior doesn’t reflect any conscious thinking; that’s why the best predictor of behavior is ease. It’s more powerful than motivation, price, quality, satisfaction, or intentions.

Ease makes people happy, and effort can really annoy people. So whenever you want to influence behavior, make that behavior as easy as possible.

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Being charismatic isn't something you are; it's something you do

You can become more charismatic—someone people want to pay attention to—with a few tweaks to your language, body language, and your attention.

The simplest charisma hack is to practice focusing your attention on people one at a time. Start by asking questions and using people’s names more often. Pronouns reveal where your attention is focused (and I don’t mean gender pronouns). To have charisma is to shine so that other people feel like they’re the only one in the room, and people want to say yes to you.

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Lasting influence is a group project

Lasting influence is a group project

Few of history’s turning points can credit just one hero. Instead, there was an army of poeple who spread the word, or they stepped up and did it.

In Hurricane Katrina, hundreds of boat owners rescued people—single moms, toddlers, grandfathers—stranded in attics, on roofs, in flooded housing projects, hospitals, and school buildings. None of these people said, "I can’t rescue them all". All of them said, "I can rescue someone, and that’s work so meaningful and important I will risk my life and defy the authorities to do it". And they did.

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CURATED BY

jamesthecooper

Started studying chemistry at college, never finished.

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