4 Simple Ways to Improve Your Self-Esteem

A common trait among people with low self-esteem is that they over promise and underdeliver on their personal goals.

By setting an unrealistic goal for yourself, you’re increasing the odds that you fail and then subsequently feel badly about yourself — which only reinforces your already low self-esteem.

Now, there’s nothing necessarily wrong with asking for help. In fact, the ability to ask for help when you really need it is a powerful skill that more people should have instead of trying to lone-wolf every problem they encounter.

Resist the urge to immediately ask for help. Make sure you’re doing your best to solve the problem or manage the situation yourself before you outsource that to someone else.

This will create a positive cycle of action and confidence that will keep your self-esteem at a healthy level — regardless of whether you were able to solve the problem yourself or with help.

When a painful thought or memory pops into mind, it’s tempting to start engaging with it — to have a conversation with it that leads to dozens if not hundreds of similarly negative thoughts.

Healthy self-esteem depends on your ability to manage your attention well. And a big part of that means not letting yourself be a victim of your own thoughts.

Notice your thoughts. Say hello to them. But don’t feel like you have to have a conversation with them.

Do the right thing, even when it’s hard.

We admire people who are able to put aside their feelings and emotions (fear, discomfort, popularity) and choose their values instead.

This is the source of our admiration for our heroes and it’s also the source of our esteem for ourselves.

Trusting your value of courage is much more likely to lead to healthy self-esteem than impulsively trusting your feeling of anxiety.

Trusting your value of compassion is much more likely to lead to healthy self-esteem than blindly following your anger.