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How to handle a lopsided friendship

How to handle a lopsided friendship


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Fewer Friends For All

As we juggle the demands of this ongoing pandemic, friendships have shifted in all sorts of unexpected ways. Many people now seem to have less stamina for socializing.

People became used to having smaller social circles, and some realized they prefer keeping it that way. As a result, these ...

Lopsided Friendships

A lopsided friendship happens when one friend is more active in maintaining contact and the other friend is more passive about keeping the connection going. It’s understandable to be sad or upset if you’re the one constantly reaching out, sending thoughtful messages and asking if you can schedule...

Resist the Urge to Make Assumptions

It’s easy to jump to conclusions and assume that if we don’t hear from someone as often as we’d like to, that means they don’t like us, or they don’t value our friendship.

More likely: The other person is just busy — it’s not that deep.

The solution for baseless assumptions? Challeng...

Invite, Don’t Accuse

People often wait to alert their friend to an issue until it’s boiled over from annoyance to full-on anger. The best time to address the issue is when you begin feeling that distance or imbalance in the relationship.

You might be tempted to blurt out, “Hey, I haven’t heard from you in a whi...

Be Flexible

Your friend may be feeling like this is more of a logistics problem, and isn’t aware that you’re open to changing your established routine. So the next time you reach out, you could say something like:

  • Would you want to try something different the next time we meet? Maybe we can grab t...

Changing The Medium

Your friend also might prefer to change the mode and frequency of communication. Maybe texting is better for them instead of taking phone calls. Or they might want to talk on the phone once a week instead of exchanging DMs on a social platform they’re no longer using. Ask!

If You’re the One Who Can’t Prioritize Your Friendships, Be Upfront About It

Lots of people may find themselves on the opposite side of the spectrum: They’re the ones who are too snowed under to invest in their friendships. In this case, it is your responsibility, as a friend, to let the other person know about what they can expect from you for the foreseeable future.

Giving The Signal

If you need to let a friend know you won’t be as available in the future try saying this:

  • I know we tend to talk on the phone for hours, but I probably have an hour max on Sundays before I have to prepare for the week.
  • It’s been really hard for me to talk on the phone lately, s...



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