Building emotional intelligence is important both for yourself as well as for the relationships with the ones around. However, not everybody knows how to do this is in a positive way.
There are many individuals who confuse the terms emotional scientist and emotional judge, even though the two describe very different traits: while being an emotional scientist implies having empathy and natural curiosity, being an emotional judge means that you always evaluate the things from your own perspective and you firmly believe that you alone have all the answers.

Emotional scientist vs. emotional judge

Being an emotional scientist has so many advantages, that it is a shame not trying to become one. In order to reach this goal, you should check out the following tips:
<ul>
<li>Learn to name your emotions</li>
<li>Start listening actively, with no judgment</li>
<li>Acknowledge the emotions of other people</li>
<li>Ask openly about what the others need.</li>
</ul>

Be an emotional scientist

<h2>
 Self-curiosity and genuine wonder can have a strong mental health impact. </h2>
 Posted May 18, 2020 <UL><LI><img alt="Facebook icon" src="https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/all/modules/custom/pt_social_media/img/icon-share-round-facebook-md.svg" width="37" height="37"></LI></UL><div>Source: Unsplash</div>I jumped on the "Brené Brown wagon" when I was studying my BA in Psychology back in 2010. I remember stumbling upon her <a href="https://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_the_power_of_vulnerability/transcript" rel="noopener noreferrer" dir="ltr">TED Talk </a>about vulnerability and feeling almost instant relief. Finally, I thought, here is someone who for the first time honors my "sensitivity" –a trait that, up until that point,&nbsp;many people had pointed out as a flaw.&nbsp;<div>article continues after advertisement</div>My admiration has grown throughout the years as I've closely followed her books, courses, articles, conversations, and now, thankfully, her <a href="https://brenebrown.com/podcast/introducing-unlocking-us/" rel="noopener noreferrer" dir="ltr">podcast</a>&nbsp;Unlocking Us. Each episode is full of valuable "vulnerability nuggets"&nbsp;that, undoubtedly, strengthen my <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-gen-y-psy/202004/the-power-unlearning" dir="ltr">unlearning</a> journey. Each and every one of them has offered, up until this point, an important lesson in my life –both as a person, as well as a psychologist.As a lover of words and lexicography, it's not uncommon for me to gravitate towards phrases or emotional metaphors that enrich my work. And, that's probably why I was so amazed by the Unlocking Us episode with <a href="https://www.marcbrackett.com/" rel="noopener noreferrer" dir="ltr">Dr. Marc Brackett</a>, the founding director at the Yale Center for <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotional-intelligence" title="Psychology Today looks at Emotional Intelligence" dir="ltr">Emotional Intelligence</a>.In it, Brené Brown and Dr. Brackett spoke about the importance of building emotional <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/intelligence" title="Psychology Today looks at intelligence" dir="ltr">intelligence</a> in our youth. In order to this, Dr. Brackett suggests we must all strive to become "emotional scientists" instead of "emotional judges".&nbsp;What's the difference?An emotional scientist, according to Dr. Brackett:&nbsp;<UL><LI>Research, ask questions and are <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-gen-y-psy/202001/6-ways-practice-self-curiosity" dir="ltr">curious</a> (in a non-judgmental way) about their own emotional states and the emotions of those around them</LI><LI>Ask from a place of <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/empathy" title="Psychology Today looks at empathy" dir="ltr">empathy</a> and compassion&nbsp;</LI><LI>Are active listeners and practice <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/emotion-regulation" title="Psychology Today looks at emotional regulation" dir="ltr">emotional regulation</a>.&nbsp;</LI></UL>An emotional judge, on the other hand:&nbsp;<UL><LI>Assume, criticize and judge their own emotional states and the emotions of those around them</LI><LI>Often believe there's a "correct" and "incorrect" way in which people "should" feel&nbsp;</LI><LI>Don't practice self-curiosity or self-awareness about their own mental health&nbsp;</LI></UL>How to become an emotional scientist?<div>article continues after advertisement</div>It's not surprising that emotional scientists also <a href="https://www.ycei.org/what-we-do" rel="noopener noreferrer" dir="ltr">develop</a> important skills such as <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/decision-making" title="Psychology Today looks at decision-making" dir="ltr">decision-making</a>, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/creativity" title="Psychology Today looks at creativity" dir="ltr">creativity</a>, problem-solving, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/leadership" title="Psychology Today looks at leadership" dir="ltr">leadership</a>, <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/assertiveness" title="Psychology Today looks at assertive" dir="ltr">assertive</a> communication, among others.&nbsp;&nbsp;So, how exactly can we help raise the next generation of emotional scientists? And, by doing that, how can we <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/shyness" title="Psychology Today looks at shy" dir="ltr">shy</a> away from our inner "emotional judges" in order to become more curious?&nbsp;<OL><LI>Let's name the emotion.&nbsp;We must allow space to identify, honor, and name what we're feeling; as well as, provide that same space for our loved ones. Naming our emotions is the first step towards emotional regulation and, in a judgment-free zone, can pave the way for the co-existence of a full range of other emotions.&nbsp;</LI><LI>Active listening without <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/guilt" title="Psychology Today looks at guilt" dir="ltr">guilt</a>, judgment nor <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/embarrassment" title="Psychology Today looks at shame" dir="ltr">shame</a>.&nbsp;Sometimes, we are so eager to help other people solve their problems (as well as our own), that we meet their emotional expression as something we need to fix. When, in reality, active listening can be more than enough of what our loved ones might need.&nbsp;</LI><LI>Validate their emotions.&nbsp;After identifying and listening to what the other person has to say about their feelings, honor their experience. A simple "I understand why you might feel that way" can go a long way. And, this type of response plays a key role in the development of empathy.&nbsp;</LI><LI>Ask them what they need from you.&nbsp;Scientists ask, make a hypothesis, put them to test, and either confirm or deny them. This&nbsp;same experience can occur with feelings. Let's give the other person the benefit of the doubt of telling us what they need.&nbsp;</LI></OL>Being an emotional scientist is a new skill for many of us. Particularly, if we have grown up in a world that uses judgment and/or shame as their main weapons. But, this new skill might be exactly what we need if we want to help heal the world and turn it into a safer, more compassionate, and kinder place to live in.&nbsp;<UL><LI><img alt="Facebook icon" src="https://cdn.psychologytoday.com/sites/all/modules/custom/pt_social_media/img/icon-share-round-facebook-lg.svg" width="45" height="46"></LI></UL>

Do you know the difference between an emotional scientist and an emotional judge? The answer might help us develop a more compassionate society.

4 Ways to Be an Emotional Scientist

Emotional scientist vs. emotional judge

Be an emotional scientist

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