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10 Emotional Regulation Skills for a Healthier Mind
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Emotional Regulation
It means having the skills to control your behavior, emotions and thoughts in the pursuit of long-term goals.
Emotional regulation skills enable us to live a healthy and well-balanced life, physically, mentally and spiritually.
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Applying The Power Of Choice
You have to recognize that you have the choice in how you react to situations.
This will empower you to work with the challenges that you face in your life: you'll have clarity, focus and a purpose.
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The STOPP Technique
... to control your emotions:
- S – Stop
- T – Take A Breath
- O – Observe – your thoughts and feelings
- P- Pull Back – put in some perspective – what is the bigger picture?
- P – Practice What Works – Proceed – what is the best thing to do right now?
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Viktor Frankl
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Take Care Of Your Body
Consistent physical activity, eating well and getting lots of sleep are critical to you having a resilient and well-balanced life.
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Nurture Positive Relationships
Your wellbeing, mentally, physically and spiritually is influenced by the type of relationships you have in your life.
The more positive and healthier your relationships are, the more resilient and optimistic you will feel about your life.
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Practice Mindfulness
It can help you to increase your ability to regulate emotions, decrease stress, anxiety and depression.
It can also help you to focus your attention, as well as to observe your thoughts and feelings without judgment.
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Letting Go
This is one of the hardest emotional regulation skills to learn - letting go of painful emotional and regrets.
When you do manage to release all these negative emotions, you will find that your resilience and ability to deal with the curveballs of life will improve.
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Accept Your Vulnerability
- Allowing yourself to be vulnerable takes strength and courage.
- Don’t bottle up your emotions. Become more self-aware: explore your emotions, ask questions to get in touch with how you are feeling and thinking in a given moment.
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Brené Brown
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Seek Excellence Not Perfection
Perfectionism isn’t about growth, improvement, or personal achievement, it’s about fear and avoidance.
Therefore, what you should really be focused on is realizing excellence, the best version of yourself despite your flaws.
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Accept Negative Feelings
... because they never go away. They will always be a part of your life.
The best course of action you can take is to face your fears and move forward.
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“Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen. It’s tough to do that when we’re terrified about what people mi..."
Brené Brown
Being vulnerable
Everyone is vulnerable, no matter how much they try to avoid it. We are born vulnerable and stay that way for our entire childhood. Our relationship with vulnerability is something we are acquainted with, yet abandon as we merge into adulthood.
Vulnerability = courage
To embrace vulnerability as your greatest strength, you will need to become aware of your pain points. The paintings of Rembrandt are no less beautiful because of its flaws. It is upon examining it up close that you recognise the defects, while ignoring the complete picture.
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Use assertive communication
Assertive communication allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and our actions without judging or blaming other people.
Emotionally intelligent people know how to communicate ...
Respond instead of reacting
The emotionally intelligent person knows how to stay calm during stressful situations.
They don't make impulsive decisions and understand that in times of conflict the goal is a resolution.
Utilize active listening skills
Emotionally intelligent people make sure they understand what is being said before responding.
They also pay attention to the nonverbal details of a conversation. This prevents misunderstandings, allows the listener to respond properly and shows respect for the person they are speaking to.
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Key Ideas
Be sincere
The only time to apologize is when you’re genuinely remorseful.
Avoid any apology that is forced. The person you are apologizing to will pick up on your ...
Be honest and vulnerable
In order to show your sincerity when apologizing, you must be honest and vulnerable. That can lead to the cultivation of meaningful relationships. It can also lead to rejection, which is what makes it so scary.
When you apologize, be willing to share openly and candidly, allowing emotions to flow freely, so that you can be fully seen.
Admit fault
Take responsibility for your actions and admit your mistakes or transgressions. State them out loud. Yes, it will be scary. It will feel shameful for a time. But it is worth it.