Worrying about missing out on new experiences, content, trends, and even investments can make us feel like we are falling behind. We can overcome this feeling and be content with what we have by embracing the present moment.

FOMO - the fear of missing out

We are constantly comparing ourselves to people around us. While it can serve us by helping us grow, it can sometimes lead to hard feelings. FOMO is about having thoughts about missing out on opportunities which might increase our happiness. One explanation for why we experience FOMO is that we are social beings and don't want to feel left out. Instead, we can practice an abundance mindset: There are plenty of opportunities around for everyone. Instead of feeling envy, try congratulating them.

When comparing yourself to others turns toxic

Not feeling part of an event or the in-group could be enough for someone to experience a fight-or-flight response. Next time you feel a stress response to FOMO, take a moment to assess what "danger" you're really in. Then, you can talk yourself down from that fight-or-flight response.

Experiencing a bodily reaction to FOMO

Knowing what triggers your FOMO will help you get out of situations before they set off that alarm. The biggest FOMO trigger is often social media. Your trigger might be seeing yet another friend buy their first home. You can expose yourself to less of the stuff that makes you feel like you're left out.

Know your triggers

It's important to remember that we live by making a series of trade-offs. We're always missing out on something. Choosing one activity or path inevitably means you'll miss out on others. FOMO makes you miss out on today because you're so worried about what else is out there. You can win the battle with FOMO by being fully present in the life you have today.

Thinking the grass is greener on the other side

Frank Festa
 
 <div class="caption">
 
 Photos by Simon Haven/Getty and Correia Patrice/Getty; Collage by Becky Harlan/NPR
 
 </div>Staying in on a Friday night feels like a good idea – you could really use the "alone time" after a busy week – until you get on Instagram. You see your friends having a blast at that cool bar you've been wanting to try, then comes a post from a buddy from college snuggling with their adorable new rescue dog and you start watching another friend's story before they set out on an exciting road trip. <picture><source srcset="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2017/05/02/gettyimages-480815331_sq-9352b0531005261eae2e47c98fea1bdbcea9f879-s100-c15.webp" data-original="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2017/05/02/gettyimages-480815331_sq-9352b0531005261eae2e47c98fea1bdbcea9f879-s100.webp" class="img lazyOnLoad" type="image/webp"><source srcset="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2017/05/02/gettyimages-480815331_sq-9352b0531005261eae2e47c98fea1bdbcea9f879-s100-c15.jpg" data-original="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2017/05/02/gettyimages-480815331_sq-9352b0531005261eae2e47c98fea1bdbcea9f879-s100.jpg" class="img lazyOnLoad" type="image/jpeg"><img src="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2017/05/02/gettyimages-480815331_sq-9352b0531005261eae2e47c98fea1bdbcea9f879-s100.jpg" alt="Why Social Media Isn't Always Very Social"></picture><h3><a href="https://www.npr.org/2017/05/02/526514168/why-social-media-isnt-always-very-social" data-metrics="{&quot;category&quot;:&quot;Story to Story&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:&quot;Click Internal Link&quot;,&quot;label&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2017\/05\/02\/526514168\/why-social-media-isnt-always-very-social&quot;}" data-metrics-ga4="{&quot;category&quot;:&quot;recirculation&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:&quot;story_recirculation_click&quot;,&quot;clickType&quot;:&quot;inset box&quot;,&quot;clickUrl&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2017\/05\/02\/526514168\/why-social-media-isnt-always-very-social&quot;}">Why social media isn't always very social</a></h3>Suddenly, that alone time you opted for doesn't feel so good anymore. You feel like you're boring for staying in – you may even question the purpose of your very existence. Don't worry, that anxiety spiral is common – <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ritual-and-the-brain/201804/the-science-fomo-and-what-we-re-really-missing-out" dir="ltr">and not that new</a>. You're experiencing FOMO, or the fear of missing out.Worrying about whether we're missing out on new experiences, content, trends and even investments can make us feel like we're falling behind. But we can actually overcome that feeling and be present with what we have. Here's why we experience FOMO in the first place, how to know when that feeling is serving us and how to move past it when it gets in the way.<h3>When comparing yourself to others turns toxic, remember that there's plenty to go around </h3>We are constantly comparing ourselves to people around us, and a lot of the time, doing so can actually serve us. Learning from the examples of others is an important way humans adapt and grow.But sometimes, that self-comparison can lead to some pretty tough feelings. "FOMO is about having thoughts on missing out on opportunities which might increase our happiness," says psychologist<a href="http://www.therapynest.center/about" dir="ltr"> Aarti Gupta</a>, who's Clinical Director at TherapyNest in Palo Alto, California. Gupta there's a biological explanation for why we experience FOMO. "Humans are social beings and rely on each other to survive, and being left out or not being in the know could have, once upon a time, been a matter of life or death." If you find yourself comparing yourself to others in a way that doesn't feel productive or oriented toward growth, Gupta recommends practicing an abundance mindset: "This means remembering that there are plenty of opportunities to go around for everyone, and just because someone else found success doesn't mean that you won't." Next time you see someone else's win trigger a feeling of envy, try congratulating them instead of stewing in jealousy.<picture><source srcset="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/10/07/lk_jealousy_sq-0ce1bd1537f6942314d6f631500f84ea76bf41b8-s100-c15.webp" data-original="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/10/07/lk_jealousy_sq-0ce1bd1537f6942314d6f631500f84ea76bf41b8-s100.webp" class="img lazyOnLoad" type="image/webp"><source srcset="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/10/07/lk_jealousy_sq-0ce1bd1537f6942314d6f631500f84ea76bf41b8-s100-c15.jpg" data-original="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/10/07/lk_jealousy_sq-0ce1bd1537f6942314d6f631500f84ea76bf41b8-s100.jpg" class="img lazyOnLoad" type="image/jpeg"><img src="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/10/07/lk_jealousy_sq-0ce1bd1537f6942314d6f631500f84ea76bf41b8-s100.jpg" alt="How understanding jealousy could lead to a better relationship"></picture><h3><a href="https://www.npr.org/2021/10/09/1044018004/jealousy-relationships-emotions" data-metrics="{&quot;category&quot;:&quot;Story to Story&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:&quot;Click Internal Link&quot;,&quot;label&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2021\/10\/09\/1044018004\/jealousy-relationships-emotions&quot;}" data-metrics-ga4="{&quot;category&quot;:&quot;recirculation&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:&quot;story_recirculation_click&quot;,&quot;clickType&quot;:&quot;inset box&quot;,&quot;clickUrl&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2021\/10\/09\/1044018004\/jealousy-relationships-emotions&quot;}">How understanding jealousy could lead to a better relationship</a></h3><h3>The stress response to FOMO is an old survival mechanism </h3><img src="https://www.npr.org/assets/img/2022/05/18/fomo_gif.gif" alt="A meerkat faces a tiger, growing stressed. The tiger turns into a phone and the stress dissipates." width="600" height="400">Credit: Source Images: We Are, John M Lund Photography Inc, jbSz/Getty; Collage: Becky Harlan/NPRHave you ever experienced a bodily reaction to FOMO? Your heart beats faster, you feel a knot in your stomach or tightness in your chest – that's your brain's survival mechanism kicking into action. "Not feeling part of an event or in the in-group could be enough for someone's amygdala to engage and cause a stress reaction or a fight-or-flight response," says Gupta. That's because being a part of a community has historically been crucial to human survival.<picture><source srcset="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/04/02/anxiety-around-socializing-post-covid-3_sq-7d00bed05917d539d3357854ec5469dbb9125ede-s100-c15.webp" data-original="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/04/02/anxiety-around-socializing-post-covid-3_sq-7d00bed05917d539d3357854ec5469dbb9125ede-s100.webp" class="img lazyOnLoad" type="image/webp"><source srcset="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/04/02/anxiety-around-socializing-post-covid-3_sq-7d00bed05917d539d3357854ec5469dbb9125ede-s100-c15.jpg" data-original="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/04/02/anxiety-around-socializing-post-covid-3_sq-7d00bed05917d539d3357854ec5469dbb9125ede-s100.jpg" class="img lazyOnLoad" type="image/jpeg"><img src="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/04/02/anxiety-around-socializing-post-covid-3_sq-7d00bed05917d539d3357854ec5469dbb9125ede-s100.jpg" alt="Do We Even Know How To Socialize Anymore?"></picture><h3><a href="https://www.npr.org/2021/04/04/983855924/do-we-even-know-how-to-socialize-anymore" data-metrics="{&quot;category&quot;:&quot;Story to Story&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:&quot;Click Internal Link&quot;,&quot;label&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2021\/04\/04\/983855924\/do-we-even-know-how-to-socialize-anymore&quot;}" data-metrics-ga4="{&quot;category&quot;:&quot;recirculation&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:&quot;story_recirculation_click&quot;,&quot;clickType&quot;:&quot;inset box&quot;,&quot;clickUrl&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2021\/04\/04\/983855924\/do-we-even-know-how-to-socialize-anymore&quot;}">Do we even know how to socialize anymore?</a></h3>The amygdala is the part of our brains that is tasked with detecting threats to our survival, and sometimes it confuses what might have been threatening in the past with a feeling that isn't actually a threat in the present. Next time you feel a stress response to FOMO, take a moment to assess what "danger" you're really in. By identifying that your stress might not be in response to a real threat, but instead a biological holdover from the past, you can talk yourself down from that fight-or-flight response. <h3>Know your triggers</h3>Knowing what triggers your FOMO will help you get out in front of situations before they set off that alarm. You can expose yourself to less of the stuff that makes you feel like you're left out. <picture><source srcset="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/07/16/gettyimages-1267020060_sq-3db79762c457672d056caaa237b34f07418c0cd3-s100-c15.webp" data-original="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/07/16/gettyimages-1267020060_sq-3db79762c457672d056caaa237b34f07418c0cd3-s100.webp" class="img lazyOnLoad" type="image/webp"><source srcset="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/07/16/gettyimages-1267020060_sq-3db79762c457672d056caaa237b34f07418c0cd3-s100-c15.jpg" data-original="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/07/16/gettyimages-1267020060_sq-3db79762c457672d056caaa237b34f07418c0cd3-s100.jpg" class="img lazyOnLoad" type="image/jpeg"><img src="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/07/16/gettyimages-1267020060_sq-3db79762c457672d056caaa237b34f07418c0cd3-s100.jpg" alt="Glued To Your Phone? Here's How To Rethink Your Relationship With Social Media"></picture><h3><a href="https://www.npr.org/2021/07/16/1016854764/social-media-balance-relationship-boundaries" data-metrics="{&quot;category&quot;:&quot;Story to Story&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:&quot;Click Internal Link&quot;,&quot;label&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2021\/07\/16\/1016854764\/social-media-balance-relationship-boundaries&quot;}" data-metrics-ga4="{&quot;category&quot;:&quot;recirculation&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:&quot;story_recirculation_click&quot;,&quot;clickType&quot;:&quot;inset box&quot;,&quot;clickUrl&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2021\/07\/16\/1016854764\/social-media-balance-relationship-boundaries&quot;}">Glued to your phone? Here's how to rethink your relationship with social media</a></h3>"One thing that might trigger you does not trigger someone else," says Gupta. For many of us, the biggest FOMO trigger is social media. For you, your trigger might be seeing yet another friend buy their first home. For Gupta, it usually comes up in parenting."I'm a newish mom. I have a three year old, and it's really easy to compare the way you're raising your kid to the way that others are raising theirs," says Gupta. She combats this by trying to minimize the parenting content she consumes.<h3>When you find yourself thinking the grass is greener on the other side, remind yourself why you're watering yours</h3>The next Friday night that you decide to stay in, keep in mind that we're always missing out on something. Choosing one activity or path inevitably means you'll miss out on others."Maybe [you chose to stay in] because you had a long week and you need to recharge with some alone time. Or maybe you have an early start the next day. Whatever the reason might be, it's important to remember that as humans, we live by making a series of trade-offs," says Gupta. <picture><source srcset="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/12/30/sol-cotti---npr---mindfulness-1_sq-67d63f2d8aea06af61539f5250bafc8150c2f06f-s100-c15.webp" data-original="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/12/30/sol-cotti---npr---mindfulness-1_sq-67d63f2d8aea06af61539f5250bafc8150c2f06f-s100.webp" class="img lazyOnLoad" type="image/webp"><source srcset="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/12/30/sol-cotti---npr---mindfulness-1_sq-67d63f2d8aea06af61539f5250bafc8150c2f06f-s100-c15.jpg" data-original="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/12/30/sol-cotti---npr---mindfulness-1_sq-67d63f2d8aea06af61539f5250bafc8150c2f06f-s100.jpg" class="img lazyOnLoad" type="image/jpeg"><img src="https://media.npr.org/assets/img/2021/12/30/sol-cotti---npr---mindfulness-1_sq-67d63f2d8aea06af61539f5250bafc8150c2f06f-s100.jpg" alt="Stressed? Instead of distracting yourself, try paying closer attention"></picture><h3><a href="https://www.npr.org/2021/12/21/1066585316/mindfulness-meditation-with-john-kabat-zinn" data-metrics="{&quot;category&quot;:&quot;Story to Story&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:&quot;Click Internal Link&quot;,&quot;label&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2021\/12\/21\/1066585316\/mindfulness-meditation-with-john-kabat-zinn&quot;}" data-metrics-ga4="{&quot;category&quot;:&quot;recirculation&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:&quot;story_recirculation_click&quot;,&quot;clickType&quot;:&quot;inset box&quot;,&quot;clickUrl&quot;:&quot;https:\/\/www.npr.org\/2021\/12\/21\/1066585316\/mindfulness-meditation-with-john-kabat-zinn&quot;}">Stressed? Instead of distracting yourself, try paying closer attention</a></h3>"I think the irony of all of it is it's called FOMO, the fear of missing out. But really, what it is doing is it's making you miss out on today and that warm and cozy bed that you're in right now, or the job that you're in right now or the relationship that you're in right now because you're so worried about what else is out there." You can battle FOMO simply by being more fully present in and invested in the life you have today.The audio portion of this episode was produced by Sylvie Douglis.We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org. For more Life Kit, <a href="https://www.npr.org/newsletter/life-kit" dir="ltr">subscribe to our newsletter</a>.

The fear of missing out isn't confined to our social lives; worrying about whether we're missing out on new experiences, content, trends and even investments can create an existential crisis. Psychologist Aarti Gupta explains how FOMO shows up in our lives and how to battle it.

Stashed ideas

Staying in on a Friday night feels like a good idea – you could really use the "alone time" after a busy week – until you get on Instagram. You see your friends having a blast at that cool bar you've been wanting to try, then comes a post from a buddy from college snuggling with their adorable new rescue dog and you start watching another friend's story before they set out on an exciting road trip.

Why social media isn't always very social

Suddenly, that alone time you opted for doesn't feel so good anymore. You feel like you're boring for staying in – you may even question the purpose of your very existence . Don't worry, that anxiety spiral is common – <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/ritual-and-the-brain/201804/the-science-fomo-and-what-we-re-really-missing-out">and not that new </a>. You're experiencing FOMO, or the fear of missing out.

Worrying about whether we're missing out on new experiences, content, trends and even investments can make us feel like we're falling behind. But we can actually overcome that feeling and be present with what we have. Here's why we experience FOMO in the first place, how to know when that feeling is serving us and how to move past it when it gets in the way.

When comparing yourself to others turns toxic, remember that there's plenty to go around

We are constantly comparing ourselves to people around us, and a lot of the time, doing so can actually serve us. Learning from the examples of others is an important way humans adapt and grow.

But sometimes, that self-comparison can lead to some pretty tough feelings. "FOMO is about having thoughts on missing out on opportunities which might increase our happiness," says psychologist<a href="http://www.therapynest.center/about">Aarti Gupta </a>, who's Clinical Director at TherapyNest in Palo Alto, California.

Gupta there's a biological explanation for why we experience FOMO. "Humans are social beings and rely on each other to survive, and being left out or not being in the know could have, once upon a time, been a matter of life or death."

If you find yourself comparing yourself to others in a way that doesn't feel productive or oriented toward growth, Gupta recommends practicing an abundance mindset: "This means remembering that there are plenty of opportunities to go around for everyone, and just because someone else found success doesn't mean that you won't."

Next time you see someone else's win trigger a feeling of envy, try congratulating them instead of stewing in jealousy.

How understanding jealousy could lead to a better relationship

The stress response to FOMO is an old survival mechanism

Credit: Source Images: We Are, John M Lund Photography Inc, jbSz/Getty; Collage: Becky Harlan/NPR

Have you ever experienced a bodily reaction to FOMO? Your heart beats faster, you feel a knot in your stomach or tightness in your chest – that's your brain's survival mechanism kicking into action.

"Not feeling part of an event or in the in-group could be enough for someone's amygdala to engage and cause a stress reaction or a fight-or-flight response," says Gupta. That's because being a part of a community has historically been crucial to human survival.

Do we even know how to socialize anymore?

The amygdala is the part of our brains that is tasked with detecting threats to our survival, and sometimes it confuses what might have been threatening in the past with a feeling that isn't actually a threat in the present.

Next time you feel a stress response to FOMO, take a moment to assess what "danger" you're really in. By identifying that your stress might not be in response to a real threat, but instead a biological holdover from the past, you can talk yourself down from that fight-or-flight response.

Knowing what triggers your FOMO will help you get out in front of situations before they set off that alarm. You can expose yourself to less of the stuff that makes you feel like you're left out.

Glued to your phone? Here's how to rethink your relationship with social media

"One thing that might trigger you does not trigger someone else," says Gupta. For many of us, the biggest FOMO trigger is social media. For you, your trigger might be seeing yet another friend buy their first home. For Gupta, it usually comes up in parenting.

"I'm a newish mom. I have a three year old, and it's really easy to compare the way you're raising your kid to the way that others are raising theirs," says Gupta. She combats this by trying to minimize the parenting content she consumes.

When you find yourself thinking the grass is greener on the other side, remind yourself why you're watering yours

The next Friday night that you decide to stay in, keep in mind that we're always missing out on something. Choosing one activity or path inevitably means you'll miss out on others.

"Maybe [you chose to stay in] because you had a long week and you need to recharge with some alone time. Or maybe you have an early start the next day. Whatever the reason might be, it's important to remember that as humans, we live by making a series of trade-offs," says Gupta.

Stressed? Instead of distracting yourself, try paying closer attention

"I think the irony of all of it is it's called FOMO, the fear of missing out. But really, what it is doing is it's making you miss out on today and that warm and cozy bed that you're in right now, or the job that you're in right now or the relationship that you're in right now because you're so worried about what else is out there."

You can battle FOMO simply by being more fully present in and invested in the life you have today.

The audio portion of this episode was produced by Sylvie Douglis.

We'd love to hear from you. Leave us a voicemail at 202-216-9823, or email us at LifeKit@npr.org. For more Life Kit, <a href="https://www.npr.org/newsletter/life-kit">subscribe to our newsletter </a>.

Bite-sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career

How to overcome FOMO : Life Kit

FOMO - the fear of missing out

When comparing yourself to others turns toxic

Experiencing a bodily reaction to FOMO

Know your triggers

Thinking the grass is greener on the other side

IDEAS ABOUT

MORE LIKE THIS

6 tips to help you overcome your fear of flying : Life Kit

Essential Habits to turn FOMO Into JOMO

10 Ways to Overcome Fear of Missing Out

It's time to

READ

LIKE

A PRO!

Bite-sized knowledgeto upgradeyour career

How to overcome FOMO : Life Kit

FOMO - the fear of missing out

When comparing yourself to others turns toxic

Experiencing a bodily reaction to FOMO

Know your triggers

Thinking the grass is greener on the other side

IDEAS ABOUT

MORE LIKE THIS

6 tips to help you overcome your fear of flying : Life Kit

Essential Habits to turn FOMO Into JOMO

10 Ways to Overcome Fear of Missing Out

It's time to

READ

LIKE

A PRO!

Bite-sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career