Why We Self-Sabotage and How To Stop the Cycle

Basically it is when we take destructive steps that get us further from our own succes.

But if we want to achieve our goals, why do we sabotage ourselves?

And more importantly, what can we do to stop this harmful behavior that impacts on every aspect of our lives?

Well, first we must identify the causes, stop or eliminate the trigger and keep going with treatment.

People who self-sabotage might be aware of their actions or they might unconsciously act. But there are several causes for these behaviors:

• Childhood issues: Our earliest engagement with caregivers affects how we connect to others.
• Difficult relationship effects: Reasons included insecure attachment styles, fear of getting hurt, fear of commitment, and unhealthy relationship beliefs.
• Low self-esteem: They behave in ways that confirm negative beliefs about themselves. 
• Cognitive dissonance: Holding two conflicting ideas at the same time.

Procrastination: You show others you’re never ready and put off a good outcome. It’s because people fear disappointing others, failing, or succeeding.

Perfectionism: Holding oneself to an impossible standard will cause delays and setbacks.

They end up feeling ashamed, when something went wrong. Prone to depression, they feel like they are letting everyone down.

Self-Medication: To deal with the constant battle between wanting to be successful and the script in their brains saying they can’t be, many soothe themselves through drugs or alcohol.

• Stop procrastinating

If you keep putting something off what’s important to you, it might be easier emotionally than reaching a goal that you were told you’d never reach. 

• Stop perfectionistic thinking

Maybe you overthink every detail. Aim to strive for excellence, not perfection. Make small improvements and note progress on the way toward accomplishing the desired goal.

• Stop looking solely at the big picture

When you shoot for something big, like becoming a top salesperson where you work, a giant goal can feel overwhelming. To prevent acts of self-sabotage, don’t get hung up on minutiae.

If you think you self-sabotage, ask yourself:

• Is your behavior aligning with your goals?
• If not, what is stopping you from taking action to make your dreams come true?
• Do you feel uneasiness or discomfort when you progress? If yes, dig deeper:
• Is this discomfort based on what others told you that limited your aspirations?
• Is this discomfort based on a fear of failure and worry about looking foolish?
• Are you concerned with achieving more than you thought possible?
• If you do better or achieve more, do you believe success is more than you deserve?