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8 Ways to Stop Self-Sabotaging Your Success
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Self-sabotage
Self-sabotage involves behaviors or thoughts that keep you away from what you desire most in life. It’s that internal sentiment gnawing at us, saying “you can’t do this.”
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Understand self-sabotage
Self-destructive behaviors can become habits and can continually undermine your success and happiness.
Self-sabotage is when we want something, but somehow we never accomplish it, because somewhere deep in our subconscious we’re fighting against that goal:
- Our disorganization distracts us.
- We’re constantly overthinking all of our decisions.
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Recognize self-sabotaging habits
- Procrastination. Start setting deadlines and mini-deadlines to work toward your objective.
- Negative self-talk/negative thinking. Be patient with yourself; be kind to yourself. Work to build yourself up.
- Perfectionism. It is an impossible standard that keeps you from moving forward.
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Identify root causes
Self-destructive habits are often rooted in our feelings of self-worth.
Work on identifying and acknowledging what is causing you to sabotage yourself, and then start making changes to stop those behaviors.
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Take time for self-reflection
The most successful people are those who take the time to think through their choices, decisions and actions.
Successful people learn from what worked or failed to work. They then adjust their course of action by taking a different approach.
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Find your inner positive voice
Put aside those harsh inner voices of "I can’t" or "I’m a failure."
That negative internal dialogue is a pattern of self-limiting thoughts. Start replacing that critical inner voice with positive, encouraging thoughts.
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Change your pattern of behavior
In every moment, we’re taking action that either moves us toward or away from the person we want to be and the life we want to have.
Consider how the actions you’re taking and the thoughts you’re thinking conflict with your happiness and hold you back from your true potential. Then look for ways to replace old patterns with new ones that are more helpful in achieving your goals.
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Make small, meaningful changes
If you’re disorganized or constantly getting off track from what you should be doing, take five minutes every morning to tidy your desk and write a to-do list.
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Set goals and make plans
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Key Ideas
The three why’s
Before acting on a decision, ask yourself “Why?” Follow up your response with another “Why?” And then a third.
If you can find three good reasons to pursue something, you’ll have clarit...
Expand your emotional vocabulary
Putting your feelings into words has a therapeutic effect on your brain; if you’re unable to articulate how you feel, that can create stress.
Practice saying 'no' to yourself
The ability to say “no” to yourself to put off short-term gratification ( from daily temptations like social media or junk food) for the long-term gain is an important life-skill.
Like a muscle, it is strengthened with exercise
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Key Ideas
Resilience
It's the skill that enables us to recover quickly from difficulties. It means adapting well in the face of trauma, tragedy or significant stress.
We build our resilience by learni...
Build a circle of trust
The primary factor in resilience is having supportive relationships, inside and outside the family.
Close friends, family and loved ones represent our social support; they encourage and motivate us, and let us know that we aren’t alone.
Reframe stressful situations
The way we view a potentially stressful situation can either make the crisis worse in our mind or minimize it.
Reframing things in a more positive way can alter our perceptions and relieve our stressful feelings.
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Key Ideas
Sabotaging behaviors
- You are controlling and rigid in the way that others should treat you and are easily disappointed.
- You have issues with real intimacy.
- You tell yoursel...
Examine your history
This goes back to your childhood.
For example: if you’re drawn to the excitement of meeting and starting a relationship with someone who has a lack of morals, character and is untrustworthy, try to find out about how your parents’ unhealthy habits have affected your choice in partners.
You are part of the problem
If you have a fear of abandonment and rejection and you are constantly ‘setting’ up scenarios that lead to your disappointment, you are the puppeteer controlling this.