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The more difficulty you have saying no, the more likely you are to experience stress, burnout, and even depression - 3 things that hinder your emotional intelligence.
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Before you can become good at saying no, you have to know what you're saying yes to when you're saying no. Every opportunity that you pass with a no is really saying yes to something else.
And if you feel like saying yes, ask for time to think about it before providing an answer. It's going to be much easier to say no once you've had time to considerall of your commitments and whether the item in question is a realistic addition to your schedule.
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This technique could be used to explain your commitments and to ask for another way to contribute.
To illustrate, here is an example:
Scenario: Your boss asks you to work on the weekend, but you have family commitments you cannot break.
Yes: Explain your commitments to your boss.
No: Explain how that prevents you from coming in on the weekend.
Yes: Ask other ways you could help without working on weekends.
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Do not beat around the bust explaining and making excuses or don't give false hopes that you could. Don't waste each others' time, if you want to say no, just say no.
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Be firm. In some cases, you may have to repeat yourself more than once. If you offered any explanation with your original response, you can repeat this explanation or just say no again. Don't back yourself into a corner by trying to explain yourself further. It is your right to say no to any request, and you'll often need to be firm in order to have your intentions understood.
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