How to set yourself free with ritual | Psyche Guides

Habits (good and bad) are effortless and cultivated through repetition. But habits are hard to change.

A ritual is more like improvising music or an athletic performance. It means adjusting to different conditions. Confucian ritual is similarly flexible. It depends on the awareness of the relevant factors in a situation. For example, someone who submits to a ritual does not shake hands out of habit but because it is the proper thing to do in that context at that time.

• Habits leave no room for asking questions.
• Ritual governs all behaviour in all contexts. The right ritual in a situation is only possible when you learn to ask questions. You won't be able to live harmoniously if you do not understand why you should act in a certain way.

Studying the classics is uniquely helpful with rituals.

1. Classics contain time-tested life wisdom.
2. Sacred texts, folk tales and fairy tales, nursery rhymes and proverbs are woven into the fabric of our lives and the organisation of our communities.

"Fake it until you make it’ suggests that performing the right action will eventually lead to the right mindset or intentions. The underlying assumption is that the rightness of an action is separate from the character of the person doing it.

However, a ritual cannot be performed insincerely. A fake ritual is not a ritual at all, no matter how much it looks like one. For example, pretending to love another human won't work, because 'loving' means doing it for real. You may know when laughter is appropriate, but if you fake it, the ritual will fail.