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We hide stuff from other people because we are afraid of intimacy, ashamed of our past, and what does secrecy cost us?
Michael Slepian, a psychologist at Columbia University, has spent a decade studying secrets and has a lot to say about what they are and what motivates them.
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The hardest part of keeping a secret isnât hiding it in conversation, itâs having to live with the secret alone and being unsure whether youâre doing the right thing.
Most common secrets include romantic desire, money and finances, family secrets, secret ambitions, and violating another personâs trust.
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We hold secrets back for the right reasons.
Sometimes it's just too soon to reveal something, but like a week later, it's better to reveal it.
The question is, when is that the right thing to do?
Is this a one-time issue and it's not going to come up again, there are folks who advise you to say, yeah, donât reveal it because this is not some larger problem.
If this is something that's continuously happening, then it's a much bigger deal to be holding this issue back.
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