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Your path to healing following an abusive relationship will look different from the guidance provided here. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has resources for those experiencing abuse. (Heads up: The following advice is largely catered toward unmarried couples without children.)
• In moments of longing for connection, seek support from trusted friends and confidantes — not your ex
• Have a list of people you can text or call in instances fulled with loneliness instead of feeling tempted to reach out to your former partner - don’t lean on one person exclusively
• Get out a pen and paper (or Google doc) and list the reasons you’re benefiting from the split. Then, repeat the exercise, focusing on the negatives of the relationship
• To help combat the identity crisis that comes after a breakup, engage in activities you gave up or put on the back burner during your relationship
• Evaluate how you feel after 30 days of no contact, and then work toward another 30 days. Eventually, the desire to reach out may be nonexistent
• Regardless of who initiated the breakup, blocking your ex’s number and their social media accounts for at least the first six to eight weeks after splitting
• While the wound is still fresh for your ex, do not maintain a platonic relationship with them
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