How to get over a breakup — no matter which side of it you’re on

Your path to healing following an abusive relationship will look different from the guidance provided here. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has resources for those experiencing abuse. (Heads up: The following advice is largely catered toward unmarried couples without children.)

• In moments of longing for connection, seek support from trusted friends and confidantes — not your ex

• Have a list of people you can text or call in instances fulled with loneliness instead of feeling tempted to reach out to your former partner - don’t lean on one person exclusively

 • Get out a pen and paper (or Google doc) and list the reasons you’re benefiting from the split. Then, repeat the exercise, focusing on the negatives of the relationship

• To help combat the identity crisis that comes after a breakup, engage in activities you gave up or put on the back burner during your relationship

• Evaluate how you feel after 30 days of no contact, and then work toward another 30 days. Eventually, the desire to reach out may be nonexistent