Your path to healing following an abusive relationship will look different from the guidance provided here. The National Domestic Violence Hotline has resources for those experiencing abuse. (Heads up: The following advice is largely catered toward unmarried couples without children.)

• In moments of longing for connection, seek support from trusted friends and confidantes — not your ex

• Have a list of people you can text or call in instances fulled with loneliness instead of feeling tempted to reach out to your former partner - don’t lean on one person exclusively

 • Get out a pen and paper (or Google doc) and list the reasons you’re benefiting from the split. Then, repeat the exercise, focusing on the negatives of the relationship

• To help combat the identity crisis that comes after a breakup, engage in activities you gave up or put on the back burner during your relationship

• Evaluate how you feel after 30 days of no contact, and then work toward another 30 days. Eventually, the desire to reach out may be nonexistent