We don't "move on" from grief. We move forward with it | Nora McInerny

Have you heard the phrase, “Time heals all wounds?” Some people believe this phrase is a catchall for grief—that in time, the anger, depression, guilt or regret will just go away. This is simply not true. The point here is that not all wounds are meant to heal with time.

It hurts to lose someone we love. That loss shapes and defines who we are, and it never really goes away. Instead, we carry it with us as we move forward into the next chapter of our lives, and what helps us heal is what we do with our time after they’ve passed.

Whether it’s finishing a project your loved one was working on or volunteering at their favorite charity, there are ways to fill up your time that can help you cope.

• Attempting to face joy after the loss of a loved one is complicated. Whether the loss comes expectedly or unexpectedly, it has the power to disrupt our lives, leaving us numb.
• While one day you feel happy, other days you may feel sad. With each new day, allow yourself to embrace the stages of grief as they come, rather than avoiding them altogether.
• In doing so, we gradually learn how to live with loss in our hearts. That doesn’t mean we forget about our loved ones, we just learn how to go on living without their physical presence.
• And while you can never replace the absence left by someone you loved and cared for, you can fill your life with purpose in his or her honor to help you feel happy again.