“A manipulator doesn’t believe there are any win-win situations. If someone else wins, that means they lose, and they have no intention of losing.”

Manipulators do most of the manipulation unconsciously, as a survival mechanism. 
Manipulation stems as a defense mechanism of an unwillingly twisted mind and these people need professional help. While you don’t have to judge these people, you should always try to keep a safe distance until they begin to truly trust you and drop the act.

Dealing With Manipulators

Treats life as a contest in which they set the rules and frame the scoreboard in order to always win. He/she keeps tabs on owed favors and call them in when he/she wants to control you.

The Scorekeeper

Views the world through a black and white prism of right and wrong. They set the standards based on their decisions, lord them over others as having superior judgment to maintain authority and power and refuse to admit any mistakes.

The Judge

Leads people to believe they have something better to offer than others. They often promise a vision which seems too good to be true and can’t deliver it.

The False Hero

Makes people suffer the consequences for perceived insubordination. They fear being perceived as vulnerable, so they surround themselves with weaker people and project strength and dominance while praising submissive loyalty.

The Fearmonger

THey overdramatize and perpetuate their victimhood in order to gain sympathy and attention, often choosing an oppressor who may or may not be at fault for their perceived problems. They use guilt to gain and maintain control over people.

The Flopper

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Manipulation is the main tool of sociopaths and psychopaths, and its effects can be often very damaging. That's why it's important to know what types of manipulators are out there and to learn to spot their manipulation before it goes too far. Here's what Donald Miller suggests in his book, Scary Close.
Manipulation can be found everywhere, from the close family circle all the way up to politics. People who manipulate know <a href="https://iq-digest.com/gaslighting-mind-game-designed-to-drive-you-crazy">how to use</a> their twisted perception to take any role they see fit and use it to their advantage.
But, as Miller explains, manipulation isn't a word used freely by the manipulators: "a weasel doesn't know he's a weasel, he just does what works to get food." This comes from his own struggle with being a manipulator, for which he decided to look for help and become more informed.
After reaching out for professional help and getting his hands on some literature on manipulation, Miller writes a book in which he addresses the manipulator with the wish to help them out. In it, Miller lists, among other things, the five common types of manipulators. Here are their traits:
<h2>The Scorekeeper</h2>
"A manipulator doesn't believe there are any win-win situations. If someone else wins, that means they lose, and they have no intention of losing," explains Miller. And this is where the Scorekeepers come into play: they have the tendency to treat life as a contest in which they set the rules and frame the scoreboard so that they can always win.
They abuse the favors they do for you in order to keep you under control. "Scorekeepers keep tabs on whatever favors you owe them and call in those favors when they want to control you." To achieve this control, the scorekeeper will remind you of the favor and make you a psychological hostage for it when they deem that you should repay it.
By giving in to a Scorekeeper, you enter a "twilight zone" where you have to submit to the rules of the manipulator's made-up game.
<h2>The Judge</h2>
This kind of manipulator views the world through a black and white prism of right and wrong. The Judge sets the standards based on their decisions and lord them over others to maintain authority and power, explains Miller.
In the manipulator's mind, "right and wrong are less a moral code than they are a collar and leash they attach to others so they can lead them around." So, they will impose their judgment on your behavior and beliefs and they will try to pose as having superior judgment.
In truth, when you ask these people of the wrongs they've committed, they won't be able to admit any, as they don't believe they're wrong at all. As Miller says, "to be wrong is to give up control, and manipulators don't give up control."
<h2>The False Hero</h2>
"The False Hero manipulates by leading people to believe they have something better to offer than they do," explains Miller, admitting that this is his go-to form of manipulation. It's when a person promises a vision which seems too good to be true.
In reality, these people like to fantasize a future which would sound appealing to others without thinking whether they have the ability to realize it. And, as Miller says, while there's a good side to it, as it involves a positive picture of the future, the victims are often unaware that they might be falling for something which is far from possible or realistic.
<h2>The Fearmonger</h2>
The Fearmonger is perhaps one of the most dangerous of manipulators, as they rule "by making people suffer the consequences of insubordination," explains Miller. "The mantra of the Fearmonger is: If you don't submit to me I'll make your life a living hell."
Their worst fear is being perceived as weak or vulnerable, so they do their best to establish themselves as strong and dominating. They tend to overemphasize the concept of loyalty and define it as a complete and total submission.
This is why they like to surround themselves only with people who are weaker than them, and they offer their strength and protection in return for the victim's freedom. They use all means of intimidation and punishment to wreak havoc on those around them, and they never allow people to challenge their authority by making them feel afraid to do so.
<h2>The Flopper</h2>
"A Flopper is somebody who overdramatizes their victimhood in order to gain sympathy and attention," writes Miller. For this, they require an oppressor - someone who they can use as the source of their pain and misery.
Floppers use any possible situation which gives them the right to call themselves victims, and they will make it seem much bigger than it really is. They then fake emotional injury in order to gain and maintain control of those around them.
"Flopper's internal mantra goes something like this: If people hurt me they're in my debt, and I can hold it over them to get what I want," says Miller. They do this through passive oppression, making you feel guilty, and taking over control through it.
Despite the fact that they have many ways out of the imposed circumstances, Floppers will choose to remain entrenched in that position.
As much as we might despise manipulation, there's something you should always bear in mind: manipulators do most of the manipulation unconsciously, as a survival mechanism. What may be easily seen as malice is simply their desperation leaking out.
Manipulation stems as a defense mechanism of an unwillingly twisted mind and these people need professional help. While you don't have to judge these people, you should always try to <a href="https://iq-digest.com/how-to-stay-grounded-when-dealing-with-manipulators">keep a safe distance</a> until they begin to truly trust you and drop the act.
Miller, D. (2014). Scary Close: Dropping the Act and Finding True Intimacy. Nashville, Tennessee: Nelson Books
Post updated December 6, 2018 - Original publishing date: October 18, 2018 </div>

Manipulation is the main tool of sociopaths and psychopaths, and its effects can be often very damaging. That's why it's important to know what types of manipulators are out there and to learn to spot their manipulation before it goes too far. Here's what Donald Miller suggests in his book, Scary Close.

How to Spot Manipulation: The Five Types of Manipulators

DONALD MILLER

Dealing With Manipulators

The Scorekeeper

The Judge

The False Hero

The Fearmonger

The Flopper

It's time to
Read like a Pro.

How to Spot and Stop Manipulators

This Is How To Deal With Passive-Aggressive People

How to Tell If Someone Is Manipulating You-And What to Do About It

How to Spot Manipulation: The Five Types of Manipulators

DONALD MILLER

Dealing With Manipulators

The Scorekeeper

The Judge

The False Hero

The Fearmonger

The Flopper

It's time to Read like a Pro.

How to Spot and Stop Manipulators

This Is How To Deal With Passive-Aggressive People

How to Tell If Someone Is Manipulating You-And What to Do About It

It's time to
Read like a Pro.