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How To Get People To Open Up
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Reducing your personal filter
The reason we are afraid to open up, to share some things is the fact that we are afraid of how others will react.
If you want to make someone be comfortable in your presence and feel safe to open up, consider reducing the filter you use for "judging" the world around you.
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Why we use small talk
So instead of talking about what we really want, we put on a sort of filter and spend the time discussing the weather, classes or sports, because all these are safe topics.
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Share something weird
Sharing something slightly odd about you will signal to the other person that you don't really care about what others think and also that you are not a judgemental person, so they'll feel safe in your presence.
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Make sure your value is high enough
The higher your value, the easier it is to get away with saying something weird.
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Assumption questions
You can use them to guide the conversation in a way that leads a person to open up.
How they work: you make assumptions about someone based on your observations and see if you are right or not.
How they help you: these questions show that you pay attention and care about what is being said. And if the assumption is wrong, they will react to it; you can use this reaction and start a new related conversation.
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
11
Key Ideas
Having An Open Mind
Being open-minded is a quality that makes us receptive to a diverse range of ideas, arguments and perspectives that may not align with our own.
If we are not open-minded, w...
Closed-Minded People
They are the individuals that only entertain their existing viewpoints, not being receptive to new ideas and previously unknown beliefs.
Having strong beliefs is not an indicator of a closed mind. One can have strong convictions and yet be empathetic towards others who have a different viewpoint.
Cognitive Dissonance
When a new piece of information that we learn from ourselves conflicts with our existing beliefs, and we are unable to deny the authenticity of the new idea, we experience Cognitive Dissonance.
If we are able to revise and update our outdated or incorrect belief patterns, we move towards learning and personal growth.
Pitching
Pitching involves mainly the fact of making somebody else contribute to a certain activity, by inviting them to do so.
Studies have shown that individuals tend to feel more involved...
Ownership and its effects
Whenever people feel that they have created or, at least, helped create something, they tend to become even more involved in that very activity that led to the creation of their possession. Furthermore, they try to find new solutions and ideas to improve their creation.
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Key Ideas
Motivation
Motivation is not a switch. Motivation is a flow.
If you can create a self sustaining motivation engine, you’ll not only be able to find more meaning and purpose in your life, bu...
Motivation Engine in 3 parts
- Core. Your purpose. It is sustained by two things: Having Meaning, and Forward Movement.
- Support. What enables your goals. They can magnify the motivation core you have, or speed up the momentum that you build.
- Surface. Any type of external recognition that might give you motivation.