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How to Receive Criticism without Becoming Cynical

How to Receive Criticism without Becoming Cynical
Leaders are criticized when they take action and when they don't. Nice critics try to help by pointing out failures and faults, but neglect positive suggestions. Tearing down makes nasty critics feel wise, powerful, and right. Pain: The hardest criticism to take is the one that's partly right. Most are partly right.


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5 dangers of criticism

5 dangers of criticism
  • Losing yourself. 
  • Isolation.
  • Self-justification.
  • Bitterness.
  • Revenge.
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    Transforming criticism

    Criticism, even done poorly, transforms leaders. The sting of criticism given years ago can still cling years later. Most often, criticisms humble you.

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    Preventing criticism

    Engage people early and often. Avoid isolation. It’s difficult to criticize the plan you had a hand in making.

    Choose teammates carefully. Don’t give persistent critics a seat at the table.

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    Inviting criticism

    Criticism is desirable and useful, even if it stings.

    Take criticism to a useful place by asking:

    • What do you suggest?
    • How can I be better?
    • What do you want?

    "Thank you," points criticism toward useful ends.

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    Why We Give Criticism

    • To help someone improve. Sometimes criticism is actual honest feedback.
    • To see a change that we would like. If we regularly read a magazine or blog, for example, there mi...

    Why Criticism Hurts or Angers

    • The criticism is mean-spirited. If you use insulting or degrading language or put down the person in any way, they will focus on that, and not on the rest of the criticism.
    • If you focus on the person instead of their actions, you will make them angry or defensive or hurt.
    • They assume you’re attacking them. Some people can’t take criticism in a detached, non-personal way. 
    • They assume they’re right. Many people don’t like to hear that they’re wrong, whether it’s true or not.

    How to Deliver Criticism Kindly

    • Don’t attack attack, insult, or be mean in any way
    • Talk about actions or things, not the person.
    • Don’t tell the person he’s wrong.
    • Don’t criticize at all. Give a positive suggestion instead.

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    It is a school of philosophy founded in Athens around 300 B.C., and focuses on our psychological and emotional control we have on ourselves when faced with life’s different colours.


    Grit and Stoicism

    Grit is a form of perseverance and resilience mixed together, and helps us move forward in times of adversity. Grit is essential to achieving big goals and to handle the seemingly never ending obstacles and tough terrains of life.

    Combining Stoicism with Grit makes your mind invincible as you focus on the right thing no matter what happens, improving your performance and results in all aspects of life.

    Count Your Grit

    When an obstacle, a mental block, or a difficult situation presents itself, we need to pay attention to that moment and power through it with awareness, counting the grit as a +1 credit on your grit counter. This is a mini-success in itself.

    It is easier when done slowly and steadily increasing your Grits daily.

    The Pressure Of Time

    Most leaders have familiar approaches to managing time: setting goals, planning, delegating, tracking commitments, and creating to-do lists. While these approaches do help in self-organization, the...

    Sustainable Productivity

    Instead of increasing the number of productive hours, we can focus on getting the right things done in a timely way. We also need to restore and balance ourselves, our colleagues, family and environment, instead of a neurotic or pathological focus on deadlines.

    Find out what's truly important to us and use the finite resource of time wisely.

    Phantom Workload

    Phantom workload looks like real work but results in massive unproductivity and even conflict in an organization. The pressure to meet unrealistic expectations causes a vicious cycle of further workload.

    Leaders need to take a hard look at what is being avoided or not addressed. Facing difficult tasks that were 'swept under the carpet' earlier strengthens them further to make hard decisions and face difficult people and situations.