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Ask a ten-year-old what you should do if you catch a cold and the child would immediately recommend getting into bed and drinking chicken soup. Children also know that if you break a bone in your leg you need to get a cast on it so it mends correctly.
But ask an adult what you should do to ease the sharp pain of rejection, the devastating ache of loneliness, or the bitter disappointment of failure and the person would know little about how to treat these common psychological injuries.
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The Emotional Cuts and Scrapes of Daily Life
It's the most common emotional wound, and some are so severe they create deep cuts. Also, we tend to always underestimate its pain: but, if untreated, it could affect thinking and erode self-esteem. And it rejects reason and logic.
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Rejections can cause 4 different psychological wounds:
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Relationship Muscle Weakness
In the era of connection, we are more lonely than ever. It's not the quantity of relationships, but their quality.
Chronic loneliness has an effect on healt similar to cigarette smoking! And it's contagious!
Loneliness causes us to become too self-critical, and behave in self-defeating ways, in a vicious cycle.
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The psychological wounds are:
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Walking in Broken
Loss and trauma are inevitable parts of life. Most of them have only short term effects, however the same loss can have different meanings to different people.
We all face similar challenges when it comes to recovery, reset and go back to full functionality
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There are four psychological wounds:
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The Poison in Our System
Guilt is a useful feeling, as it helps us maintain our individual standards of behavior, and protects our most valued relationships.
But when it gets too much, not proportional to the "wrong" action, and persistent - it becomes a psychological villain.
Unhealthy guilt occurs typically in our relationships, in 3 primary forms:
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It's urgent to treat unresolved or eccessive guilt, as it ends up making us condemn not only our actions but our entire selves, leading to self-loathing and low self-esteem.
There are 2 types of wounds:
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Picking at Emotional Scabs
When we face painful experiences, we typically reflect on them, hoping to understand and move on. Sometimes, however, we end up trapped in rumination, replaying the same event forever in our mind. Running endlessly but getting nowhere. And only negative experiences trigger this rumination.
Rumination deepens the emotional distress linked to the event, and it's also linked to depression, stress and cardiovascular disease, eating disorders
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There are 4 psychological wounds caused by rumination:
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We must interrupt the rumination cycle.
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How Emotional Chest Colds Become Psychological Pneumonia
We face failure thousands of times in our life, it's not avoidable. The difference is in our reaction: we may give up too quickly; we may become frozen, passive and helpless; we may become so stressed that we can't think straight; we may keep trying until we succeed.
How we deal with failure is crucial to our success and well-being in life.
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Many of our failures cause unnecessary psychological damage, because we don't treat them properly. Three are the wounds:
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Weak Emotional Immune System.
Self-esteem includes both general self-worth and how we feel about ourselves in specific domains of our lives - and the impact of the second one on the first depends critically on how important we consider that domain.
Low self-esteem makes us more vulnerable to other psychological wounds, like failure and rejection. Further, with low self-esteem come worse moods, pessimism, lack of motivation, dissatisfaction.
However, the target is the average: too high self-esteem (narcissism) is a problem as well.
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There are 3 wounds that come with low self-esteem:
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Create your own personal psychological medicine cabinet, to overcome the little wounds life offers us daily.
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IDEAS CURATED BY
CURATOR'S NOTE
Guy Winch offers great insights in our psychological processes, and gives suggestions to overcome the pain.
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Different Perspectives Curated by Others from Emotional First Aid
Curious about different takes? Check out our book page to explore multiple unique summaries written by Deepstash curators:
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anka bila's Key Ideas from Emotional First Aid
Guy Winch, Ph.D.
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