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Having a Pen Pal Is Good Medicine
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The Psychology of Writing Letters
New studies show that writing letters has healing benefits, both physically and emotionally.
There is something romantic about writing a letter, and it conveys more emotion and affection than any modern means of communication. The letter is personal, heart-felt and physical. It becomes something to be treasured.
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Writing Letters: A Therapeutic Process
Writing letters becomes a therapeutic process for the writer, and many emotions which were suppressed or buried, start to come through the ink.
The expression becomes deep, thoughtful and heartfelt at the same time.
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The Thrill of Waiting For a Letter
The instant email and messaging tools deliver our messages in a split second, but the thrill of opening a mailbox and finally receiving the letter one has been waiting for weeks, is undeniably exciting.
It becomes a personal gift for the receiver, and makes them feel important and loved.
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Gratitude promotes wellbeing
Gratitude, the feeling of being thankful, is known to increase wellbeing, with studies showing that it:
- Protects from stress and depression
- Makes relationships more fulfilling
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Society and gratitude
Gratitude is a natural feeling humans are equipped with, and the problem arises when there is more of ingratitude in society.
To have the capacity to feel gratitude, you must be able to receive and accept something helpful or good from another person. It helps if this is something you see happening around you from infancy, so you can learn how it works.
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Letters Of Complaint
Be polite. The person who gets your letter will seldom be the one who wronged you. And is unlikely to pass it on to the desired recipient if you are insulting and raging.
Make plain...
Letters To Friends
Always remember that your job, writing to a friend, is to entertain. That can mean revelling in the odd pratfall. So, don’t just write about the mundane and pleasant things, try to give them the whole picture and make them feel something.
Letters Of Condolence
- You are extending respect and friendship. Write quickly, and preferably by hand.
- You’ll want to calibrate what you write to your relationship both with the recipient and with the deceased. Make it personal.
- If you knew the deceased well, sharing a couple of warm memories will let the recipient feel there’s a shared bond.
- If you didn’t know the deceased, you can make respectful reference to what you knew of them.
- Use tact. Don’t tell the recipient how they should be feeling.
- If you’re finding it hard to know what to say, you can acknowledge that; but don’t harp on it.
- Avoid operatic, or competitive, expressions of grief.
- Acknowledge, but don’t belabour, the grief and pain they feel.
- Focus on the individual excellence of the deceased rather than the consequences of the loss itself.
- Be tactful of their religion even if you don’t believe in it.
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Create the conditions to write
- Make the time for writing. We all have those absent-minded moments in our day when we're not doing anything. If we use that time to write, we can actually get a lot done...
There's no one "right" way to write
Some people plan ahead their and outline their novels, others just jump in a wing it.Experiment, start with something and see what works for you.
Try to show up for your characters. It's not important how you do it, as long as you do it.
Find your people
When you feel a bit stuck, and walking the dog or organizing the closet doesn't help, speak to a friend with a different way of thinking. Or talk to a friend who's writing a book.aaa
You don't just have to stick to friends. Reach out to other writers who can talk through any issue you're having with your book.