Almost everyone who is unhappy with life is unhappy for the same reasons - Deepstash

deepstash

Beta

deepstash

Beta

Deepstash brings you key ideas from the most inspiring articles like this one:

Read more efficiently

Save what inspires you

Remember anything

Almost everyone who is unhappy with life is unhappy for the same reasons

https://qz.com/647197/almost-everyone-who-is-unhappy-with-life-is-unhappy-for-the-same-reasons/

qz.com

Almost everyone who is unhappy with life is unhappy for the same reasons
Your expectations, more than anything else in life, determine your reality. When it comes to achieving your goals, if you don't believe you'll succeed, you won't. Research from LSU shows that people who believe in themselves use more metacognitive functions than those who don't.

9

Key Ideas

Save all ideas

Expectations shape your reality

They can change your life, emotionally and physically

You need to be extra careful about (and aware of) the expectations you harbor as the wrong ones make life unnecessarily dif...

337 SAVES


VIEW

The (un)fairness of life

A surprising number of us subconsciously expect life to be fair, and we believe that any unfairness that we experience will somehow be balanced out, even if we don’t do anything about it.

285 SAVES


VIEW

Opportunities don't just happen

Opportunities don't just happen

One of the most important things a person can do is stick his or her neck out and seek opportunity. 

Just because you deserve a raise, a promotion, or a company car, doesn’t mean ...

322 SAVES


VIEW

Being liked by everyone

When you assume that people are going to like you, you take shortcuts; you start making requests and demands before you’ve laid the groundwork to really understand what the other person is thinking...

262 SAVES


VIEW

Being "approved" by everyone

Being "approved" by everyone

Most of us expect people to agree with us out of courtesy or because our ideas are so incredibly sound.

But something that’s obvious to you might not be so to someone with different expe...

242 SAVES


VIEW

People can’t read your mind

People can’t read your mind

... and what you’re trying to say is rarely what other people hear. You can’t expect people to understand you just because you’re talking—you have to be clear.  

Communicati...

268 SAVES


VIEW

Expecting to fail

If you expect to fail, you stand a higher chance of creating the very outcome you’re worried about. 

If you fail, accept that sometimes you’ll fail and sometimes you’ll succeed, b...

242 SAVES


VIEW

Happy for the wrong reasons

Too many of us expect a future event (“I’ll be happy when I get that promotion”) to make us happy, instead of looking more deeply into the real causes of our unhappiness. 

If you don’...

246 SAVES


VIEW

"Changing" someone

There’s only one person in this world you can truly change—yourself—and even that takes a tremendous amount of effort.

The only way that people change is through the desire and wherewi...

261 SAVES


VIEW

SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Taking action = eventual success

Taking action = eventual success

Inaction is the biggest cause of our failures and our miseries. If we could consistently do the things we know we should do, we would be more successful, and our lives would be better. Yet w...

Explaining inaction

Some possible but weak reasons why action is hard:

  • Talent. But the world is full of brilliant stars that flame out and mediocre minds that build empires.
  • Preferences can explain our failure to try, but don't explain our inner struggles with inaction.
  • Capacity for effort. If your capacity for doing things is lower, it does not explain chronic bursts of activity with inevitable crashes in your goals and projects.
  • Motivation. Some people with the most reason have the hardest time taking action. 

Confidence

Motivation and expectation of success create a feedback loop:
  • Your motivation to complete a task depends on the value of the reward and your expectation of success. 
  • Your expectation of success depends on your motivation.

If your projects tend to fail, your expectations are low, and motivation fades. If your projects tend to succeed, your expectations go up, and motivation stays strong.

5 more ideas

Disengaged Employees

Engagement at work is a sign of employee motivation and resulting productivity. Unfortunately, only about 13% of people globally are engaged at work, and disengaged employees cost the economy $5...

What Not To Do

  • Do not make assumptions about a disengaged employee's performance. While statistically, such employees do underperform, there can be other reasons too.
  • Do not force an employee to be someone they are not. Everyone cannot be happy and optimistic all the time.
  • Do not get emotional, and stick to a transactional, formal, work-focused style. Do not expect to win their hearts or influence them by appealing to their emotions.
  • Do not assign employees tasks beyond their area of expertise.

Approaching Disengaged Employees

  • Use extrinsic motivating factors such as incentives and rewards to get productivity from a disengaged employee.
  • Understand what drives them, connect with them, gaining their trust and respect without being emotional, and focus on what they value.
  • Respect an employee's personal space and their need to distance their problems from their work.

Ultimately, it is what an employee delivers that matters most, and a manager has to focus on figuring out how to get the work done.

Dr. Seuss

It is better to know how to learn than to know.

Dr. Seuss

False Beliefs About Self-Education

Despite having easy access to information, few people take full advantage of the opportunity we have for self-directed learning.

We still believe that in order to learn something, we need to be formally educated on it, when in fact we're able to educate ourselves.

Self-Education In The 21st Century

Self-education is the core skill for the 21st century.

Our ability to respond to changes in the landscape of work and technology will be dictated by how skilled self-educators we are, how well we can take full advantage of the information available to us to grow our skillset.