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How to Develop a Healthier Outlook and Learn to Be Perfectly Imperfect

https://www.verywellmind.com/overcoming-perfectionism-how-to-work-past-perfectionism-3144700

verywellmind.com

How to Develop a Healthier Outlook and Learn to Be Perfectly Imperfect
Are you a perfectionist?​ Many people have traits of perfectionists and are even proud of them, but there are important differences between perfectionists and high achievers and being a high achiever is far better for your health and happiness. If you have perfectionistic tendencies, it's vital to find strategies to get past them and move toward being a non-perfectionistic high achiever.

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Learn To Handle Criticism

Learn To Handle Criticism

If criticism makes you defensive, an attitude change can help.

Constructive criticism can show you how to improve, making your less-than-perfect performances into steps towards excellence. If the criticism you’re receiving is pointed or harsh, it’s okay to remind others and yourself that mistakes are a great way to learn.

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Set Reasonable Goals

Perfectionists tend to set goals of unreasonable excellence with no learning curve or room for error.

Dividing your goals into more achievable steps and rewarding yourself when you achieve them, will make you less stressed, less likely to give up and more forgiving of mistakes.

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Alter Your Self-Talk In a Positive Way

Perfectionists tend to be very self-critical but this can perpetuate unhealthy behaviors and decrease their self-esteem.

By altering your self-talk positively, you can better enjoy life and gain an increased appreciation for yourself and your work.

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Balance Your Critical Focus

Perfectionists tend to notice mistakes and often notice them above all else. But you can soften this tendency by consciously trying to notice the good in things.

When you spot perceived flaws look for five other qualities that you do like. This will balance out your critical focus and become a positive new habit.

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Be Aware Of Your Perfectionistic Patterns

You may not see how pervasive perfectionism can be. Becoming more aware of your patterns, you’re in a better position to alter them.

To do that, you can record your perfectionistic thoughts and go over them later writing down what you thought at the time.

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Knowledge How Perfectionism Is Affecting You

List the ways perfectionism is hurting you and others, and you’ll be more motivated to shed these tendencies.

Perfectionism has many negative consequences, and you may be unwittingly experiencing them.

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Perfectionists Vs. High Achievers

Perfectionism differs from high achievement in its focus. If you are striving for excellence, you can be happy about your achievements and learn from your mistakes.

Perfectionists obsess over perceived insufficiencies, robbing themselves of the satisfaction of succeeding. They consistently fear failing and becoming low achievers.

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Even if you have a clear goal of what perfection means, obsessively pursuing it is a sign of insecurity.

And insecurity, when not addressed directly, doesn’t go away because a concrete objective has been achieved, it manifests itself into self-criticism or a new overvalued goal.

Not Allowing Yourself To Fail

Instead of forgiving and viewing mistakes as a learning opportunity, you criticize and put pressure on yourself for not predicting a less than perfect outcome. You feel inadequate, and these feelings preoccupy your mind, often to the point of losing productivity.

Do a weekly review to reflect on your progress

Do a weekly review to reflect on your progress

Try to identify things you avoided due to fear of failure and situations where your perfectionism wasn’t worth it or moments where you did well despite being uncertain.

You...

Get an outside perspective on your perfectionist tendencies

Talk honestly and openly to someone about your tendencies and how you’re working on getting better.

Ask them to tell you when you are being too fussy about something so you can think about it.

Interrupting the cycle of rumination

  • Take note of when you’re ruminating and what triggers it until you can see your patterns and find ways to counteract them.
  • Don't trust your first reaction when ruminating. Most of the time, it colors negatively your read of the situation.
  • Seek a diversion to break the rumination cycle.
  • Think positively: remembering your successes and times you tried new things helps you to not be avoidant of tasks you can’t do perfectly.

Perfectionism: The Pursuit Of Constant Excellence

Perfectionism: The Pursuit Of Constant Excellence

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Perfectionism: The Good

The good aspects of being perfect are intrinsic motivation, extreme focus, ambitious goals, strong work ethic and high personal standards. They are also highly coachable.

Elite performers are often perfectionists as their activity requires error-free performance.