8 Signs You're a Perfectionist (and Why It's Toxic to Your Mental Health) - Deepstash

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8 Signs You're a Perfectionist (and Why It's Toxic to Your Mental Health)

https://www.inc.com/marla-tabaka/8-signs-youre-a-perfectionist-and-why-its-toxic-to-your-mental-health.html

inc.com

8 Signs You're a Perfectionist (and Why It's Toxic to Your Mental Health)
People often confuse high achieving behavior with perfectionistic behavior. High achievers are dedicated, determined individuals who have a strong desire to accomplish something that's important to them. Their achievements are not about what others will think of them or a fear of failure, it's to gain personal gratification from their success.

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Not Celebrating Your Success

Not Celebrating Your Success

It's never good enough, so you get sucked so far into the details that you become frustrated.

Even when your goal is complete and results in success, you believe you could and should have done it better.

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Pursuing Perfection, But Never Feeling Perfect

Even if you have a clear goal of what perfection means, obsessively pursuing it is a sign of insecurity.

And insecurity, when not addressed directly, doesn’t go away because a concrete objective has been achieved, it manifests itself into self-criticism or a new overvalued goal.

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Not Allowing Yourself To Fail

Not Allowing Yourself To Fail

Instead of forgiving and viewing mistakes as a learning opportunity, you criticize and put pressure on yourself for not predicting a less than perfect outcome. You feel inadequate, and these feelings preoccupy your mind, often to the point of losing productivity.

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Pretending Everything Is Perfect

Pretending Everything Is Perfect

Perfectionists are afraid of judgment. They often want to be seen as being effortlessly perfect.

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Avoiding Challenges That May Lead To Failure

Avoiding Challenges That May Lead To Failure

When presented with an opportunity that requires new skills or moving outside of your comfort zone, you're likely to turn it down. You're afraid to not be good enough to tackle a new learning curve and to be seen as a failure or a disappointment.

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Likeability and Being Perfect

Likeability and Being Perfect

Personality and positive qualities like honesty, compassion, humor, etc. , aren't what perfectionists believe people will like about them.

It's not enough to be a wonderful person, you must be a perfectly wonderful person. You don't allow others to see your flaws and most likely you talk about your achievements, but never your failures.

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Life Doesn't Satisfy You

Life Doesn't Satisfy You

Perfectionists cope well in a low-stress environment. Outside of that, anxiety often increases, which offers the illusion that nothing is going well, thereby decreasing life satisfaction.

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Struggling With Getting Things Done

Struggling With Getting Things Done

You may get things done, but you are in a constant battle with the decisions and motivation to complete certain things. The "what ifs" and expectation of a negative consequence or result preoccupies you and the pressure can be overwhelming.

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Perfectionist Behavior

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Perfectionist behavior is a broad personality trait prevalent in today's generation. It is defined as a hypercritical relationship with one's self.

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Perfectly Curated Life

Perfectionism is a growing cultural phenomenon that has engulfed a large set of people including celebrities. Some of the causes are:

  • Modern parenting
  • Competitive economy
  • Consumerism and advertising
  • Social Media.

Perfectionism x1000

Social Media acts as the biggest culprit in amplifying perfectionism as youngsters can constantly compare their looks and their lives to others in easily measurable ways.

There is an increased expectation from our family and our peers to be perfect in all aspects of our lives.

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Perfectionism: The Pursuit Of Constant Excellence

Perfectionism: The Pursuit Of Constant Excellence

There is a common trait among many high-achievers: Perfectionism. Celebrated geniuses like Leonardo Da Vinci, Beethoven, Steve Jobs and even Kanye West share an obsessive ...

Perfectionism: The Good

The good aspects of being perfect are intrinsic motivation, extreme focus, ambitious goals, strong work ethic and high personal standards. They are also highly coachable.

Elite performers are often perfectionists as their activity requires error-free performance.

Do a weekly review to reflect on your progress

Do a weekly review to reflect on your progress

Try to identify things you avoided due to fear of failure and situations where your perfectionism wasn’t worth it or moments where you did well despite being uncertain.

You...

Get an outside perspective on your perfectionist tendencies

Talk honestly and openly to someone about your tendencies and how you’re working on getting better.

Ask them to tell you when you are being too fussy about something so you can think about it.

Interrupting the cycle of rumination

  • Take note of when you’re ruminating and what triggers it until you can see your patterns and find ways to counteract them.
  • Don't trust your first reaction when ruminating. Most of the time, it colors negatively your read of the situation.
  • Seek a diversion to break the rumination cycle.
  • Think positively: remembering your successes and times you tried new things helps you to not be avoidant of tasks you can’t do perfectly.