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How to Love: Legendary Zen Buddhist Teacher Thich Nhat Hanh on Mastering the Art of "Interbeing"
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"Understanding someone’s suffering is the best gift you can give another person. Understanding is love’s other name. If you don’t understand, you can’t love." - Thich Nhat Hanh
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"… The most precious inheritance that parents can give their children is their own happiness. Our parents may be able to leave us money, houses, and land, but they may not be happy people. If we have happy parents, we have received the richest inheritance of all." - Thich Nhat Hanh
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"Often, we get crushes on others not because we truly love and understand them, but to distract ourselves from our suffering. When we learn to love and understand ourselves and have true compassion for ourselves, then we can truly love and understand another person. " - Thich Nhat Hanh
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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:
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Key Ideas
The forms of love
Love is not just found in romantic love directed at one person.
Love includes the depth of close friendships, the sense of belonging in a community, the intensity of an artistic practice...
It takes a village to feel loved
In history, marriage was a pragmatic institution. A sense of identity was more embedded in community, and not solely in marriage.
The shift to individualism and choice has meant that we feel the need to find our identity in an all-encompassing romantic partnership. We are asking from one person what once an entire village used to provide.
Recognising that one person can't be your everything can help you find a broader definition of love.
The love of friendship
Sharing your experiences with others is an essential ingredient to feeling connected.
This conncection doesn't have to come in the form of a partner or having friends around you all the time. Rather, it is the quality of your close relationships that has an impact on your well being.
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“Letting go gives us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If, in our heart, we still cling t..."
Thich Nhat Hanh
5 efficient ways to express your anger
- Practice meditation
- Keep a journal
- Do exercises
- Prepare your favorite food yourself
- Take steps towards accepting yourself and your emotions.
Accept and deal with your anger
Learning to accept and deal with one's anger is an important step to happiness.
Once you have accepted and come to release all the anger within, you will most certainly feel a huge amount of relief while actually avoiding possible internal illnesses.
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Unrequited Love
It is a feeling of being obsessive or fixated about a person as if one has found an oasis in a desert of nothingness. Insisting that the relationship will work out exactly as you want ca...
The Other Person
The other person can sense the unease, the possessive desperation, neediness, and even creepiness in you that arises from 'clinging' towards them.
Even if we play it cool, and follow the dating norms and etiquettes, the 'needy' energy can leak out of us, repelling the other person. If you are feeling like that, it is best to listen to yourself with compassion.
Self-Examination
Being left alone or not being able to have a fulfilling relationship with one person is a perfect opportunity for self-discovery and self-examination.
Instead of waiting for the other person to suddenly start loving you (an external event you cannot control) you are much better off understanding the situation objectively, absorbing the learning it brings. Love can come from diverse sources if you are open to life, alternatives and possibilities.