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Psychologists On Why You Procrastinate - And How to Stop | Time
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Procrastination
Procrastination is not just avoiding or delaying a task.
It also has to include an aspect that’s counterproductive, irrational or unnecessary.
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Procrastination triggers
- People procrastinate because of a lack of value [associated with the task];
- because they expect that they’re not going to achieve the value they’re trying to achieve;
- because the value is too far from you in terms of time;
- or because you’re very impulsive as a person.
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If timing is the issue
Many people are inherently more productive at certain times of the day.
Work around these natural productivity ebbs and flows when you schedule your days.
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If you get overwhelmed
Many people procrastinate because they’re anxious about the outcome of a project, don’t think they can complete it well or fear failure.
If that’s the case, it may help to break it into smaller, manageable sub-tasks.
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Struggling with delayed gratification
- Break a long-term assignment into multiple smaller ones.
- Find ways to reward yourself along the way.
- Schedule your most frequent diversions — think checking social media or completing non-urgent chores and errands — for the gaps between these smaller chunks to get a quick hit of an enjoyable activity,
- Clarify why this task or commitment is important to you.
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If you’re easily distracted
Optimize your environment.
- Put your cell phone away, turn off notifications on your computer and don’t have 10 tabs open at the same time.
- Minimize multitasking. That “never-ending stream of tasks” may make it feel like you’re never actually completing anything, which deprives you of the satisfaction of being done.
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Struggling with something larger
Sometimes, what looks like procrastination may actually be a symptom of something more serious, such as depression, anxiety or attention problems.
If your behavior is causing you distress or significantly affecting your performance at work, school or home, don’t be afraid to consult a professional.
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Hitting a wall
Even the most efficient workers have days when it’s harder to finish tasks.
Take five minutes to get outside, take a walk, get some sunlight. Those breaks will actually increase your productivity and make up for the lost time.
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Know your context
It’s important to first consider where you are trying to make a good impression—whether it’s a formal job interview or a dinner date.
Context matters. It gives you cues as to how you should dress, speak, look and behave, in a way that matches the setting you are entering to. That is a key aspects of making a good impression.
Adjust your attitude
Try not to look bored, rude or hostile.
A useful attitude is welcoming, curious and enthusiastic: smile, make eye contact long enough to notice the color of that person’s eyes, sit without crossing your arms or legs. This project a positive, open warm impression.
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Manipulation
... is an emotionally unhealthy psychological strategy used by people who are incapable of asking for what they want and need in a direct way, to control someone or something t...
Common Types Manipulators
The two most common types of manipulators are bullies and “victims”.
Bullies make you feel fearful and might use aggression, threats and intimidation to control you, while “victims” engenders a feeling of guilt in their target by acting hurt when denied something.
Gaslighting
The term refers to manipulation that gets people to question themselves, their reality, memory or thoughts. Gaslighters twist what you say and make it about them, hijacking the conversation or making you feel like you’ve done something wrong when you haven’t.
Gaslighted people often feel a false sense of guilt or defensiveness, as if they failed completely or did something wrong when they didn’t.