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Shut Up and Be Grateful

https://markmanson.net/shut-up-and-be-grateful

markmanson.net

Shut Up and Be Grateful
Hegel said that history is the process of freedom realizing itself. Assuming you're in the western world, then you currently live in the most free and tolerant society that has ever existed. There is less racism and sexism than at any other time in history.

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The human mind naturally overemphasizes the negative

Psychologists have found that the loss of something is two to four times more painful than the joy of gaining the same thing.

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Gratitude is the skill of happiness

It requires practice and effort and habit. But it’s a skill anyone can learn and anyone can do. 

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Consciously practicing gratitude makes one happier

It makes one appreciate what one has and helps one to remain in the present moment. Practicing gratitude increases accountability which directly leads to higher self-esteem and happiness....

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Reinforcing People’s Helpfulness

Reinforcing People’s Helpfulness
  • Strong sense of in-group: the belief that the person in need is on your team makes us more helpful to them as we care about what happens to the in-group. 
  • Opportunity to reinforce the helper’s positive identity: people help more when they reflect on why it’s important to them to “be a benefactor to others.” 
  • Opportunity to see one’s own effectiveness: people want to see or know the impact of the help they have given or will give. 

2 types of gratitude expression

  • Other-praising: involves acknowledging and validating the character or abilities of the giver;
  • Self-benefit: which describes how the receiver is better off for having been given help. 

The former makes people feel better with themselves and that you are more grateful when compared to the latter.

Reminding People That They Owe You One

If you have to remind someone that they owe you one, chances are they don’t feel as if they do. Reminding them that they owe you a favor both makes the other person feel as if you’re trying to control them and it makes the other person feel as if you’re keeping a scorecard, and that’s fundamentally bad for relationships.

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A positive frame of mind

It is a really good idea to force yourself into a positive frame of mind at least once per day. No matter what happens each day, when you sit down for dinner, think about the good in your life for at least a few seconds. 
Positive thinking opens your eyes to more opportunities.

The cumulative effect

The individual impact of any one piece of gratitude is small, but the cumulative effect is huge. The power of this habit comes from a multiplier effect that takes hold after practicing it for a month or two. You begin to realize that nearly every day is a good day (at least in a small way).

Gratitude is free

You start to realize how insignificant monetary things are for your day-to-day happiness. The majority of your grateful moments don’t cost a dime: time spent with friends and family, something nice someone said, a good workout that day. 

That’s not to say money is unimportant, but there is something comforting in realizing that the moments you’re actually grateful for each day are free.

2 kinds of people

  • Those who believe they can make things happen. They are convinced that the outcome of their lives and careers is more or less in their own hands
  • Those who believe things happen to them. They sit around and wait for the bus to take them somewhere.

When hard times strike

Those that feel they are in control over their lives also feel stress and anxiety, but they use this anxiety differently: their anxiety fuels passion instead of pity, drive in lieu of despair, and tenacity over trepidation.

Expect and prepare for change

Set aside some time regularly to create a list of important changes that you think could possibly happen. The purpose of this task is to open your mind to change and sharpen your ability to spot and respond to changes. 

Even if the events on your lists never happen, the practice of anticipating and preparing for change will give you a greater sense of command over your future.