Resonance: How to Open Doors For Other People

A Harvard Study of Adult Development followed and documented a large number of people over their entire lifetimes, and after 75 years, the researchers came to a conclusion that good relationships are a primary cause of health and happiness, significantly more than wealth, fame or working hard.

People who are socially connected to their loved ones, friends and society are healthier, happier and live longer than the people who are lonely. The isolated people turn toxic, with their health and brain functions declining at an earlier stage of life.

People feel better if they are understood, heard, and appreciated. Even talking to a homeless man for a few seconds will light up his eyes and make him feel recognized. Being lonely for so long, he might have forgotten that he even exists.

• Listening is one of the most important but hardest skills to achieve. The stuff we want to say, our ego, and impatience get in the way of being a good listener.
• A simple trick to be an effective listener is to focus on listening actively with the intention to summarize what the other person is saying, instead of focusing on your upcoming reply.

If you summarize to the speaker what you have listened to, asking intelligent questions, it will create an extraordinary effect, as the other person will realize that you were genuinely listening.

To show that you resonate with the other person, you have to be genuinely empathetic and able to ask worthy questions.

If you are cutting short the conversation, stating your opinions, or saying ‘I understand’, ‘I see’ or ‘interesting’ a lot, it signals to the speaker that you are not really listening.

When opening the door for someone, we have to understand the need and the timing of the activity.

We have to build trust by being attentive to their needs and interests, opening the door at just the right moment. This is crucial for the power of resonance to work.