The acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience! | by Farouk Kadous | Medium - Deepstash

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The acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience! | by Farouk Kadous | Medium

https://medium.com/@faroukkadous/the-acceptance-of-ones-negative-experience-is-itself-a-positive-experience-9e9d6036881a

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The acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience! | by Farouk Kadous | Medium
“The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.” wrote Mark Manson in his…

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The ‘Backwards Law’

The ‘Backwards Law’

When we expect something positive and have a desire for something good, that very experience of want, or to covet, is in a way, a negative experience for us.

Referred to as the ‘Backwards Law’ by the modern philosopher Alan Watts, pursuing something only reinforces the fact that you lack the same right now.

Example: The more we want to be rich, the more we realize that we aren’t rich, and the feeling of lack and unworthiness comes to the surface, even if you are otherwise not poor at all.

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Mark Manson

"“The desire for a more positive experience is itself a negative experience. And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience.”"

Mark Manson

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The Interpretation Of The Truth

Not being ambitious or aspirational is looked down upon to any normal person, but if the person is grateful, the life that is led is a happier, more fulfilled one.

Pain and failure, according to Mark Manson, provide us with positive results:

  • The hardships our body endures in a gym results in us getting into a better shape.
  • The failures in our career and business provide us with the necessary life lessons to be successful much beyond what we had hoped for.

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Emotions Are Fluctuating

According to Dale Carnegie, human beings are not rational or logical creatures but are highly emotional.

We must then act according to our values, and not according to the fluctuating, vulnerable and unreliable emotions. One of the values can be deep gratitude.

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Warren Buffett

"“If principles can become dated, they’re not principles.”"

Warren Buffett

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The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience

And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. 🤯

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Make room for your emotions

Make room for your emotions

Rumi, the 13th-century Sufi poet, compared emotions to unexpected visitors. 

We're supposed to let them in and not hide from them, suppress them or pretend they do not exist.

Gaining peace of mind

In a society that promotes gratitude and positivity, there is pressure to suppress or conceal negative feelings.

But psychological studies reveal that acceptance of your negative feelings promotes emotional resilience, with fewer symptoms of depression and anxiety.

The magic of acceptance

Acceptance of negative emotions involves not trying to change how we feel but taking them for what they are.

Acceptance works because it blunts the emotional reactions to stressful events. In time, it can lead to positive psychological health.

Happy people are generous

Happy people are generous
  • They give freely.
  • They spend money on experiences.
  • They spend money to benefit others.
  • They forgive (themselves and others). 

The conscious attitude of happy people

  • They don’t compare themselves to others.
  • They practice gratitude.
  • They are hopeful and optimistic.
  • They practice mindfulness.
  • They comfort themselves in hard times.
  • They don’t overthink.
  • They remember the positive.
  • They try to be happy.
  • They act happy.

Having Things to Look Forward To

Happy people tend to live active and somewhat busy lives. They meet up with friends after work, go on a hiking trip with the family on the weekend, and play tennis every Wednesday morning with a friend. 

This busy lifestyle provides an unintended but powerful source of happiness: anticipation.