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The Feedback Loop from Hell

https://markmanson.net/feedback-loop-from-hell

markmanson.net

The Feedback Loop from Hell
Or let's say you have an anger problem. You get pissed off at the stupidest, most inane stuff, and you have no idea why. And the fact that you get pissed off so easily starts to piss you off even more.

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The Feedback Loop from Hell - Feeling bad about feeling bad 🔄

Being worried about doing the right thing all the time that you become worried about how much you’re worrying. Or feeling so guilty for every mistake you make that you begin to feel guilty about how guilty you’re feeling.

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Not giving a f*ck is so key

When you care less about something, you do better at it. It's also your chance to avoid engaging in negative feelings towards the emotions you experience. 🤐

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The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience

And, paradoxically, the acceptance of one’s negative experience is itself a positive experience. 🤯

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Any attempt to escape the negative, only backfires

Everything worthwhile in life is won through overcoming the associated negative experience. The avoidance of suffering is a form of suffering. 🧐

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Our inner 'demons'

Our inner Demons, or inner voices, make us do irrational, stupid and selfish things, based out of fear.

We hide and distract ourselves from our inner voice, which is nothing but our fear and ...

Our common negative parts

Some of our common 'demons' are:

  • Procrastination
  • Laziness
  • Self-loathing
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The downward spiral

Our inner demons lead us to negatively judge ourselves, further leading to avoiding that judgment, and eventually starting the internal self-destruction, if the negative downward spiral is left unchecked.

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Don't repress negative feelings

That means if someone close to you asks, “How are things?” You respond with, “I feel like dog shit,” not with, “Oh, I’m greeeeeeat,” and then run away to cry into your cereal b...

Most things in life are both good and bad at the same time. What changes is our perspective.
Most things in life are both good and bad at the same time. What changes is our perspective.

Surviving the worst moments of your life

  • Identify the feeling. Anger? Grief? Sadness?
  • Go ahead and cry if you need to. No shame. It’s healthy.
  • Identify what you could have done better.
  • Forgive yourself and other people involved.
  • Tell somebody close to you how you feel.
  • Don’t be afraid to be alone sometimes.
  • Take a moment to think about all of the things in your life that are amazing.
  • Practice patience. Pain takes time to resolve.