Why we sabotage romantic relationships - and what we can do about it

It helps to view your relationship as a “work of art” that you two are co-creating together, in real-time.

The work-of-art mindset can help counter that pessimistic self-narrative. Instead, you get to stop thinking about yourself and what you’re gaining or losing in your relationship, and you get to start thinking about what you have to offer.

Your reasons for developing self-sabotaging behaviors most likely spring from an understandable and human place. 

The way out of it is to have insight into who you are in a relationship. Your partner will also have a chance to get to know you, and together you can break the pattern to sabotage.