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Be kind to yourself
Your reasons for developing self-sabotaging behaviors most likely spring from an understandable and human place.
The way out of it is to have insight into who you are in a relationship. Your partner will also have a chance to get to know you, and together you can break the pattern to sabotage.
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Get curious about how you act
... when you’re in a relationship. Think about those four horsemen of the relationships apocalypse: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling and how often do you exhibit any of them.
Try to observe your actions and strive to understand the reasons behin...
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Stop entering relationships
... that you know are doomed. We should not be pursuing every relationship that comes our way, but only those relationships that have the potential to work.
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Relationship as a partnership
It helps to view your relationship as a “work of art” that you two are co-creating together, in real-time.
The work-of-art mindset can help counter that pessimistic self-narrative. Instead, you get to stop thinking about yourself and what you’re gaining or losing in your relationship, and...
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9. You’re drawn to others who don’t love themselves.
You choose relationships where your partner is also self-sabotaging and takes their pain out on you.
To do:
If you’re drawn to relationships like this, become aware of the pattern of attraction to partners who are self-sabotaging. Know that if som...
Learn to communicate
If specific themes continue to arise, at some point it could be helpful to speak to your partner.
They can be an asset, as they can help you point out self-sabotaging behaviors as they arise.
Be Honest About Your Fears
You must have a conversation with your partner if both of you are engaging in codependent behaviors.
You will need a little self-awareness on your part to realize if it is a lack of trust in your partner, yourself, or a combination of both. Deeper conversations should reassure you or your ...
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