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The Charisma Myth: Practical Advice on Becoming More Likable

https://lifehacker.com/the-charisma-myth-practical-advice-on-becoming-more-li-1726235441

lifehacker.com

The Charisma Myth: Practical Advice on Becoming More Likable
Charisma, that irresistible magnetism some people possess, is often thought of as trait you're born with-you either have it or you don't. In The Charisma Myth, however, author Olivia Fox Cabane explains that charisma is a skill you can learn, and she explains exactly how with examples, exercises, and practical tips you can try with anyone.

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Charisma is a skill

Charisma is a skill

Charisma, defined as that irresistible magnetism some people possess, is often thought of as trait you’re born with (you either have it or you don’t).

But the truth is that charisma is a skill you can learn.

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Charismatic behaviors

There are 3 keys to being charismatic: 

  • you need to be present in the moment when engaging with others.
  • you need to give off warmth by implying goodwill toward others.
  • you need to appear powerful by coming across as someone capable of affecting the world around you.

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Being memorable

... by making a graceful exit. Offer the other person something of value before you go:

  • Information: an article, book, or web site you think might be of use to them.
  • A connection: someone they ought to meet, whom you know and can introduce them to.
  • Visibility: an organization you belong to, where you could invite them to speak.
  • Recognition: an award you think they should be nominated for

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SIMILAR ARTICLES & IDEAS:

Learning To Be Charismatic

Charisma is about what you say and do as opposed to who you really are as a person. Your subconscious, social cues, physical expression, and the way you treat others all play a part in developin...

Presence As A Charisma Tool

Presence is necessary for charisma and it’s all about being truly engaged with others and showing them that they have your complete attention. Without presence, you can come across as just wanting to show off.

Shut down your ego, and pay attention to and focus on every word that others say. 

Develop A Sense Of Confidence

People like confident individuals, even if their other qualities are less attractive. Developing confidence is a balancing act as you don't want to be arrogant, but you also don't want to come across as timid or scared.

Exercising regularly, dressing in clothes that make you feel good, and talking about the things you understand well can help you build and maintain confidence.

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Charisma: A Primer

Charisma: A Primer

Charisma is a magnetic attractiveness that inspires devotion in others, and is not an innate talent of the few.

It is a science that many can learn and cultivate in themsel...

The Vulnerability Effect

When we admit our weakness, we are more human, likeable and authentic. This honest and imperfect person becomes charismatic, something known as the vulnerability effect.

While conducting a study of two women selling blenders at a mall, it was found that the ‘clumsy’ lady seller, who often forgot to close the lid and spilt smoothie on herself was considered more likeable and charismatic. The other more perfect woman who had a perfectly good presentation was not considered as charismatic.

Great Conversationalists Don’t Talk Much

Being a great conversationalist should normally mean speaking more right? Wrong! One has to maintain a 2:1 ratio of listening versus speaking, while we communicate.

Asking lots of follow up questions or examples, which makes the other person dig deeper, makes for a great conversation, and the person automatically feels that the listener is a great conversationalist and gets attracted on a subconscious level.

Essentially, one is deemed a great conversationalist and therefore charismatic, just by listening actively.

The power of charisma

Charismatics can make us feel charmed and great about ourselves. They can inspire us to excel. They hypnotize us.

But they can also be dangerous. They can use charisma for their own purp...

Defining charisma

The German sociologist from the early 20th-century Max Weber wrote charisma is a quality that sets an individual “apart from ordinary men,” and causes others to treat him as “endowed with supernatural, superhuman, or at least specifically exceptional powers or qualities.”

Charismatic techniques can be taught

Charismatic Leadership Tactics range from the use of metaphors and storytelling to nonverbal methods of communication like open posture and animated, representative gestures at key moments.

The more charismatic leadership tactics used, the more individuals will be seen as leader-like by others.