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Charisma: What Is It and How You Can Become More Charismatic

https://www.scienceofpeople.com/charisma/

scienceofpeople.com

Charisma: What Is It and How You Can Become More Charismatic
Is there science behind charisma? Definitely yes. In this guide I will teach you the science behind charisma and highly charismatic people.

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Charisma: A Primer

Charisma: A Primer

Charisma is a magnetic attractiveness that inspires devotion in others, and is not an innate talent of the few.

It is a science that many can learn and cultivate in themselves by following a set of guidelines. Keep in mind that charisma does not mean perfection, and many seemingly awkward or average-looking men and women are in fact, extremely charismatic.

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The Vulnerability Effect

When we admit our weakness, we are more human, likeable and authentic. This honest and imperfect person becomes charismatic, something known as the vulnerability effect.

While conducting a study of two women selling blenders at a mall, it was found that the ‘clumsy’ lady seller, who often forgot to close the lid and spilt smoothie on herself was considered more likeable and charismatic. The other more perfect woman who had a perfectly good presentation was not considered as charismatic.

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Great Conversationalists Don’t Talk Much

Being a great conversationalist should normally mean speaking more right? Wrong! One has to maintain a 2:1 ratio of listening versus speaking, while we communicate.

Asking lots of follow up questions or examples, which makes the other person dig deeper, makes for a great conversation, and the person automatically feels that the listener is a great conversationalist and gets attracted on a subconscious level.

Essentially, one is deemed a great conversationalist and therefore charismatic, just by listening actively.

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The Spontaneous Trait Transference

  • When we speak negatively of other people, the same trait is subconsciously associated with us, something known as Spontaneous Trait Transference.
  • Instead of gossiping (negative talk), one can try gushing (talking about positive qualities and stuff) and let those things be associated with themselves automatically.
  • Speaking genuinely and praising others vividly (in a natural, real way) does wonders to one’s charisma.

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Take Charge Of The Conversation With Another Person

If you want to get along with people, you have to understand that like an onion, people have layers, and one has to peel the layers from them to reveal their real, amazing nature. No one is inherently boring.

You have to take responsibility, actively engage and delight the person. Example: The quiet person that no one talks to can be nurtured simply by listening with empathy and respect.

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Give Yourself A Break

Don’t try to interact with people if you are not feeling your best, either emotionally, physically or mentally.

Instead of socializing due to an obligation, even though you are not at your 100 percent, it is better to be absent.

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Competence Vs Warmth

  • Competence-related skills: One can be highly competent, efficient, effective or commanding, being in the fear realm.
  • Warmth-related skills: One can focus on being relatable, likeable, humble or pleasing, being in the love realm.

The takeaway here is to be competent and then be lovable, as both are crucial.

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The Key Is To Be Likeable

It is a well-known fact that most people quit due to bad bosses. This includes all the super-geniuses who would have driven the company towards growth and prosperity but were sidelined or diminished by lousy, insecure bosses.

An extensive study on more than fifty thousand leaders showed that only one in 2000 leaders can be unlikeable and still be successful.

Teams having likeable leaders tend to be stable and flourishing. A likeable leader makes the team members step out of their comfort zone and give their best, without forcing anything.

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Charismatic People Are Connectors

Social wealth is what charismatic people excel at. They go beyond just meeting new people or maintaining existing relations. They become connectors who introduce people with each other, knowing that they will ‘hit it’ well together.

Charismatic people are not selfish about their social wealth, but spread it in abundance, making them sought after among their friends.

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Charisma And Infectious Optimism

Charismatic people keep up the motivational levels of their team members by being encouraging, optimistic and a bundle of energy and positivity.

They reward good work, give ample credit to others and give sincere compliments.

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Be a Professional Cheerleader

Charismatic people offer encouragement instead of skeptically listening to people’s goals and ideas. Find ways to encourage people while still holding them accountable:

Charismatic People Bring People Together

Charismatic people have lots of connections and share them regularly. Highly charismatic people are not only great at meeting new people, but also sharing their talent with their connections by introducing people who they know will get along well.

This quality is part of the reason charismatic people are such sought after connections; they spread their social wealth.

Likability is Key To Your Own Charisma

Likable leaders earn the trust of their team members and treat them well, and that makes the team’s performance better.

Teams with likable leaders tend to be more stable long-term because of lower turnover rates and are also better with changes since they are more likely to have employees committing to adopting to new ways.

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Learning To Be Charismatic

Charisma is about what you say and do as opposed to who you really are as a person. Your subconscious, social cues, physical expression, and the way you treat others all play a part in developin...

Presence As A Charisma Tool

Presence is necessary for charisma and it’s all about being truly engaged with others and showing them that they have your complete attention. Without presence, you can come across as just wanting to show off.

Shut down your ego, and pay attention to and focus on every word that others say. 

Develop A Sense Of Confidence

People like confident individuals, even if their other qualities are less attractive. Developing confidence is a balancing act as you don't want to be arrogant, but you also don't want to come across as timid or scared.

Exercising regularly, dressing in clothes that make you feel good, and talking about the things you understand well can help you build and maintain confidence.

Charisma is a skill

Charisma, defined as that irresistible magnetism some people possess, is often thought of as trait you’re born with (you either have it or you don’t).

But the truth is that charisma is a s...

Charismatic behaviors

There are 3 keys to being charismatic: 

  • you need to be present in the moment when engaging with others.
  • you need to give off warmth by implying goodwill toward others.
  • you need to appear powerful by coming across as someone capable of affecting the world around you.

Being memorable

... by making a graceful exit. Offer the other person something of value before you go:

  • Information: an article, book, or web site you think might be of use to them.
  • A connection: someone they ought to meet, whom you know and can introduce them to.
  • Visibility: an organization you belong to, where you could invite them to speak.
  • Recognition: an award you think they should be nominated for