Charisma is a magnetic attractiveness that inspires devotion in others, and is not an innate talent of the few.
It is a science that many can learn and cultivate in themselves by following a set of guidelines. Keep in mind that charisma does not mean perfection, and many seemingly awkward or average-looking men and women are in fact, extremely charismatic.

Charisma: A Primer

Communication

Leadership

When we admit our weakness, we are more human, likeable and authentic. This honest and imperfect person becomes charismatic, something known as the vulnerability effect.
While conducting a study of two women selling blenders at a mall, it was found that the ‘clumsy’ lady seller, who often forgot to close the lid and spilt smoothie on herself was considered more likeable and charismatic. The other more perfect woman who had a perfectly good presentation was not considered as charismatic.

The Vulnerability Effect

Being a great conversationalist should normally mean speaking more right? Wrong! One has to maintain a 2:1 ratio of listening versus speaking, while we communicate.
Asking lots of follow up questions or examples, which makes the other person dig deeper, makes for a great conversation, and the person automatically feels that the listener is a great conversationalist and gets attracted on a subconscious level.
Essentially, one is deemed a great conversationalist and therefore charismatic, just by listening actively.

Great Conversationalists Don’t Talk Much

<ul>
<li>When we speak negatively of other people, the same trait is subconsciously associated with us, something known as Spontaneous Trait Transference.</li>
<li>Instead of gossiping (negative talk), one can try gushing (talking about positive qualities and stuff) and let those things be associated with themselves automatically.</li>
<li>Speaking genuinely and praising others vividly (in a natural, real way) does wonders to one’s charisma.</li>
</ul>

The Spontaneous Trait Transference

If you want to get along with people, you have to understand that like an onion, people have layers, and one has to peel the layers from them to reveal their real, amazing nature. No one is inherently boring.
You have to take responsibility, actively engage and delight the person. Example: The quiet person that no one talks to can be nurtured simply by listening with empathy and respect.

Take Charge Of The Conversation With Another Person

Don’t try to interact with people if you are not feeling your best, either emotionally, physically or mentally.
Instead of socializing due to an obligation, even though you are not at your 100 percent, it is better to be absent.

Give Yourself A Break

<ul>
<li>Competence-related skills: One can be highly competent, efficient, effective or commanding, being in the fear realm.</li>
<li>Warmth-related skills: One can focus on being relatable, likeable, humble or pleasing, being in the love realm.</li>
</ul>
The takeaway here is to be competent and then be lovable, as both are crucial.

Competence Vs Warmth

It is a well-known fact that most people quit due to bad bosses. This includes all the super-geniuses who would have driven the company towards growth and prosperity but were sidelined or diminished by lousy, insecure bosses.
An extensive study on more than fifty thousand leaders showed that only one in 2000 leaders can be unlikeable and still be successful.
Teams having likeable leaders tend to be stable and flourishing. A likeable leader makes the team members step out of their comfort zone and give their best, without forcing anything.

The Key Is To Be Likeable

Social wealth is what charismatic people excel at. They go beyond just meeting new people or maintaining existing relations. They become connectors who introduce people with each other, knowing that they will ‘hit it’ well together.
Charismatic people are not selfish about their social wealth, but spread it in abundance, making them sought after among their friends.

Charismatic People Are Connectors

Charismatic people keep up the motivational levels of their team members by being encouraging, optimistic and a bundle of energy and positivity.
They reward good work, give ample credit to others and give sincere compliments.

Charisma And Infectious Optimism

Is there science behind what gives charismatic people their edge? The answer: definitely yes. In this guide I will teach you the science behind highly charismatic people and how you can take concrete steps to developing your own charisma.<h2>What is Charisma?</h2><figure><img width="413" height="620" alt="Vanessa Van Edwards Research Lab" src="data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB2aWV3Qm94PSIwIDAgNjgxIDEwMjQiIHdpZHRoPSI2ODEiIGhlaWdodD0iMTAyNCIgeG1sbnM9Imh0dHA6Ly93d3cudzMub3JnLzIwMDAvc3ZnIj48L3N2Zz4="></figure>What does it mean to be highly charismatic? A simple definition of charisma is:A compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others.Most people think you have to be born highly charismatic. I couldn’t disagree more! Charisma isn’t necessarily an innate talent.<BLOCKQUOTE>Anyone can learn to be highly charismatic with the right understanding of charisma science.</BLOCKQUOTE>Here at Science of People, we’ve spent years synthesizing mountains of research into actionable strategies to help you become more charismatic.As a recovering awkward person, I had to learn charisma from the ground up. We have found a charisma formula, and I can’t wait to teach it to you. Here’s my step-by-step guide to being more charismatic.<h2>How to Be More Charismatic</h2><h3>1. Can You Learn Charisma?</h3>Yes! You can definitely learn to develop your charisma. Before we dive into the charisma science, let’s do a little self-diagnosis. How charismatic are you? I developed this quiz based on research from Harvard Business School on charisma. This 5-minute quiz will help you diagnose your charisma needs.<h3>2. Charisma Does NOT Equal Perfection</h3><figure><img alt="" width="325" height="217" src="data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB2aWV3Qm94PSIwIDAgMzAwIDIwMCIgd2lkdGg9IjMwMCIgaGVpZ2h0PSIyMDAiIHhtbG5zPSJodHRwOi8vd3d3LnczLm9yZy8yMDAwL3N2ZyI+PC9zdmc+"></figure>Can we bust a myth right now? There is a common misconception that highly charismatic people are perfect. That their charisma comes from their superior, high level skills, higher than average income or good looks. But this is not the case at all! Let’s look at the science:Psychologist Richard Wiseman conducted a study where two actresses sell a blender to mall-goers. Actress #1 had a perfect presentation and produced a flawless smoothie. Actress #2 had a great presentation, but “accidentally” forgot to tighten the lid and the smoothie splashed all over her.Actress #2, ‘the clumsy’ woman, was rated as more likable. Wiseman found that her vulnerability humanized her and therefore increased her influence on the audience.This&nbsp;vulnerability effect&nbsp;has been shown over and over again in the research. When we admit to weakness, others connect with us and see us as more likable. So, I want you to embrace your imperfections. Don’t feel the need to be perfect, impressive or superior. Real charisma comes from authenticity, vulnerability and honesty.<h3>3. Charismatic People Are Great Conversationalists</h3>My uncle once told me, “You have two ears and one mouth, so that should match the rate you listen and speak.” I never have forgotten those wise words. Charismatic people know how to listen and listen well.&nbsp;They maintain the 2:1 ratio of listening to speaking.&nbsp;The easiest way to speak less and listen more is to:Ask tons of clarification questions.Instead of staying on the surface at networking events, dig deeper by asking follow-up questions and asking for examples. Not only will you understand more about the subject matter, you also will increase your connection. And remember, when you’re speaking, you aren’t learning.&nbsp;<h3>4. Ooze Charisma By Gushing, Not Gossiping</h3>There is a scientific principle called “<a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9569648" dir="ltr">Spontaneous Trait Transference</a>.” This fascinating phenomenon describes that when you speak ill of someone else, people can’t help but associate that same trait with you. In other words, if you say someone is mean and shallow, the person listening can’t help but assign those traits to you as well. This finding shows us why our mommas might have been right when they told us not to gossip!Never, ever speak ill of others. If you want to talk about someone, try gushing. Pick someone who you adore and share all of their awesome qualities. I try very hard to practice gushing, not gossiping. I have found that it is wonderful to speak genuinely about people you respect and admire.One way to achieve this is to imagine you need to give a toast to the person you’re talking about. What nice things might you bring up that you can choose to share with the person you’re speaking with now?<h4>Action Step:</h4>Give raving introductions.&nbsp;When I am introducing two people who might not know each other, I don’t just say, “Aaron meet Jess, Jess meet Aaron.” Instead, I try to rave about them. Something like this: “Aaron meet Jess. She is a fantastic pastry chef at a local bakery. She is too shy to admit it, but her secret scone recipe is to die for. And Jess, you have to meet Aaron. Aaron is a tech entrepreneur working on an amazing company that is using 3D printers to create car parts. We better watch out because in the next few years he will probably be on the cover of Time magazine!” In this way, I get to talk about two people I genuinely respect and admire, share their stories and put them at ease–they can’t brag about themselves, but I can!<h3>5. Improve Your Own Charisma and Redefine Boring</h3>What’s the secret to getting along with people? My psychology professor at Emory University shared this wisdom from Warren Bennis.&nbsp;<BLOCKQUOTE>“People are only boring when you fail to make them interesting.” — Warren Bennis</BLOCKQUOTE>There are two fundamental truths about people:<UL><LI>No one is boring.&nbsp;People have many layers. A good metaphor is to think of people like an onion—layers upon layers of flavor. People also have a lot going on beneath the surface—think of an iceberg. Only the very tip is above the water for us to see. Some people might seem boring on the surface, but their story lurks just beneath the water. The quiet person in the corner has the most to say. All you have to do is ask. Everyone has an incredible story within them. All you have to do is listen. You are awesomely charismatic. All you have to do is be interested.</LI><LI>You are responsible if you’re bored.&nbsp;People who are good with people take responsibility. They don’t passively participate in conversation hoping the other person will share something interesting. They actively engage, hunt and delight.&nbsp;</LI></UL><h3>6. Avoid Bad Days</h3>Even the most charismatic people fail to be charismatic when they decide to socialize on bad days. &nbsp;When you’re not feeling your best – physically, emotionally, or mentally – it is impossible to interact with people at your highest level of charisma. Even if you<a href="https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-be-happy/" dir="ltr">&nbsp;try to look happy</a>, your face will betray you by subtly showing signs of your hidden emotions. It is much better to opt out of going to a unnecessary event than it is to show up and be unable to give people your best self.<h3>7. Create a Competence Baseline</h3>Researchers Andrea Abele and Bogdan Wojciszke asked people to choose between two training programs.One focused on competence-related skills – more in the realm of being feared. The other focused on warmth-related skills – more in the realm of being loved.Most participants chose the competence-based training for themselves but the warmth-based training for other people. In other words, we like to be seen as competent, but we prefer to work with people who are warm. I think this means we should create a competence baseline for ourselves and then focus on warmth. In other words, make sure your skills are up to the task — this is a fundamental part of being charismatic at work. But once you know your skills are up to snuff, it’s time to focus on your likability.Charisma is closely linked to our Likability.<h3>8. Likability is Key To Your Own Charisma</h3><figure><img alt="" width="342" height="513" src="data:image/svg+xml;base64,PHN2ZyB2aWV3Qm94PSIwIDAgNjgzIDEwMjQiIHdpZHRoPSI2ODMiIGhlaWdodD0iMTAyNCIgeG1sbnM9Imh0dHA6Ly93d3cudzMub3JnLzIwMDAvc3ZnIj48L3N2Zz4="></figure>Researchers Joseph Folkman and Jack Zenger studied 51,836 leaders to discover how significant a role likability plays in their success. They found that only 27 leaders who were ranked in the bottom 25 percent for likability also ranked in the top 25 percent for leadership effectiveness. That means there is only approximately a 1 in 2000 chance a leader can be unlikable and successful.Likable leaders earn the trust of their team members and treat them well. Researchers discovered that when people feel respected by their leaders and are comfortable with them, they perform better on teams.Teams with likable leaders also tend to be more stable long-term because of lower turnover rates. In a&nbsp;<a href="http://www.gallup.com/services/182138/state-american-manager.aspx?utm_source=gbj&amp;amp;utm_medium=copy&amp;amp;utm_campaign=20150408-gbj" dir="ltr">Gallup survey</a>&nbsp;of why people had quit their jobs, almost 50 percent said it was to escape bad bosses. This suggests that one of the reasons unlikable leaders fail to produce positive results is they can’t hold onto their top-performing team members.Even if they can hold on to their&nbsp;<a href="https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-be-great/" dir="ltr">top performers,</a>&nbsp;unlikable leaders almost always are incapable of leading teams through changes, whether that’s introducing a new project, changing a process or going through a company restructuring. For&nbsp;<a href="https://www.scienceofpeople.com/change-someones-bad-behavior/" dir="ltr">organizational change</a>&nbsp;to be implemented effectively, people have to voluntarily change; if a leader forces them to do so, most people won’t work efficiently because they are unwilling to adopt the changes.It takes a likable leader who has earned the trust of their team to convince people to willingly step out of their comfort zones and do something a new way.<h3>9. Charismatic People Bring People Together</h3>Charismatic people are socially wealthy. What I mean by this is they have lots of connections and share them regularly. Highly charismatic people are not only great at meeting new people, but also sharing their talent with their connections by introducing people who they know will get along well.This quality is part of the reason charismatic people are such sought after connections; they spread their social wealth.<h3>10. Be a Professional Cheerleader</h3>Researchers find that highly charismatic people are often the best leaders in fast-paced environments because their infectious optimism helps keep their teams motivated during challenging times. This works in social situations as well. Rather than skeptically listening to people’s goals and ideas, charismatic people offer encouragement. In a professional setting, you want to find ways to encourage people while still holding them accountable. Make it a point to:<UL><LI>Reward good work.</LI><LI>Assign credit where credit is due.</LI><LI>Give genuine compliments.</LI></UL><a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0749597889900526" dir="ltr">Jane Howell studied different types of leaders</a>. She found that when leaders with high charisma ratings led teams through activities, those groups not only performed better, but also interacted more successfully. Another&nbsp;<a href="https://hbr.org/2012/06/learning-charisma-2" dir="ltr">study</a>&nbsp;published in the&nbsp;Harvard Business Review&nbsp;found that charisma can be learned with practice, just like any other skill. The key is to have a plan. Don’t try all of these steps at once!

Is there science behind charisma? Definitely yes. In this guide I will teach you the science behind charisma and highly charismatic people.

Career

Is there science behind what gives charismatic people their edge? The answer: definitely yes. In this guide I will teach you the science behind highly charismatic people and how you can take concrete steps to developing your own charisma.

What does it mean to be highly charismatic? A simple definition of charisma is:

A compelling attractiveness or charm that can inspire devotion in others.

Most people think you have to be born highly charismatic. I couldn’t disagree more! Charisma isn’t necessarily an innate talent.

Anyone can learn to be highly charismatic with the right understanding of charisma science.

Here at Science of People, we’ve spent years synthesizing mountains of research into actionable strategies to help you become more charismatic.

As a recovering awkward person, I had to learn charisma from the ground up. We have found a charisma formula, and I can’t wait to teach it to you. Here’s my step-by-step guide to being more charismatic.

Yes! You can definitely learn to develop your charisma. Before we dive into the charisma science, let’s do a little self-diagnosis. How charismatic are you? I developed this quiz based on research from Harvard Business School on charisma. This 5-minute quiz will help you diagnose your charisma needs.

Can we bust a myth right now? There is a common misconception that highly charismatic people are perfect. That their charisma comes from their superior, high level skills, higher than average income or good looks. But this is not the case at all! Let’s look at the science:

Psychologist Richard Wiseman conducted a study where two actresses sell a blender to mall-goers. Actress #1 had a perfect presentation and produced a flawless smoothie. Actress #2 had a great presentation, but “accidentally” forgot to tighten the lid and the smoothie splashed all over her.

Actress #2, ‘the clumsy’ woman, was rated as more likable. Wiseman found that her vulnerability humanized her and therefore increased her influence on the audience.

This vulnerability effect  has been shown over and over again in the research. When we admit to weakness, others connect with us and see us as more likable. So, I want you to embrace your imperfections. Don’t feel the need to be perfect, impressive or superior. Real charisma comes from authenticity, vulnerability and honesty.

3. Charismatic People Are Great Conversationalists

My uncle once told me, “You have two ears and one mouth, so that should match the rate you listen and speak.” I never have forgotten those wise words. Charismatic people know how to listen and listen well. They maintain the 2:1 ratio of listening to speaking.  The easiest way to speak less and listen more is to:

Ask tons of clarification questions.

Instead of staying on the surface at networking events, dig deeper by asking follow-up questions and asking for examples. Not only will you understand more about the subject matter, you also will increase your connection. And remember, when you’re speaking, you aren’t learning.

4. Ooze Charisma By Gushing, Not Gossiping

There is a scientific principle called “<a dir="ltr" href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/9569648">Spontaneous Trait Transference </a>.” This fascinating phenomenon describes that when you speak ill of someone else, people can’t help but associate that same trait with you. In other words, if you say someone is mean and shallow, the person listening can’t help but assign those traits to you as well. This finding shows us why our mommas might have been right when they told us not to gossip!

Never, ever speak ill of others. If you want to talk about someone, try gushing. Pick someone who you adore and share all of their awesome qualities. I try very hard to practice gushing, not gossiping. I have found that it is wonderful to speak genuinely about people you respect and admire.

One way to achieve this is to imagine you need to give a toast to the person you’re talking about. What nice things might you bring up that you can choose to share with the person you’re speaking with now?

Give raving introductions.  When I am introducing two people who might not know each other, I don’t just say, “Aaron meet Jess, Jess meet Aaron.” Instead, I try to rave about them. Something like this: “Aaron meet Jess. She is a fantastic pastry chef at a local bakery. She is too shy to admit it, but her secret scone recipe is to die for. And Jess, you have to meet Aaron. Aaron is a tech entrepreneur working on an amazing company that is using 3D printers to create car parts. We better watch out because in the next few years he will probably be on the cover of Time magazine!” In this way, I get to talk about two people I genuinely respect and admire, share their stories and put them at ease–they can’t brag about themselves, but I can!

5. Improve Your Own Charisma and Redefine Boring

What’s the secret to getting along with people? My psychology professor at Emory University shared this wisdom from Warren Bennis.

“People are only boring when you fail to make them interesting.” — Warren Bennis

There are two fundamental truths about people:

<ul><li>No one is boring.  People have many layers. A good metaphor is to think of people like an onion—layers upon layers of flavor. People also have a lot going on beneath the surface—think of an iceberg. Only the very tip is above the water for us to see. Some people might seem boring on the surface, but their story lurks just beneath the water. The quiet person in the corner has the most to say. All you have to do is ask. Everyone has an incredible story within them. All you have to do is listen. You are awesomely charismatic. All you have to do is be interested. </li><li>You are responsible if you’re bored.  People who are good with people take responsibility. They don’t passively participate in conversation hoping the other person will share something interesting. They actively engage, hunt and delight.  </li> </ul>

Even the most charismatic people fail to be charismatic when they decide to socialize on bad days.  When you’re not feeling your best – physically, emotionally, or mentally – it is impossible to interact with people at your highest level of charisma. Even if you<a dir="ltr" href="https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-be-happy/"> try to look happy </a>, your face will betray you by subtly showing signs of your hidden emotions. It is much better to opt out of going to a unnecessary event than it is to show up and be unable to give people your best self.

Researchers Andrea Abele and Bogdan Wojciszke asked people to choose between two training programs.

One focused on competence-related skills – more in the realm of being feared. The other focused on warmth-related skills – more in the realm of being loved.

Most participants chose the competence-based training for themselves but the warmth-based training for other people. In other words, we like to be seen as competent, but we prefer to work with people who are warm. I think this means we should create a competence baseline for ourselves and then focus on warmth. In other words, make sure your skills are up to the task — this is a fundamental part of being charismatic at work. But once you know your skills are up to snuff, it’s time to focus on your likability.

Charisma is closely linked to our Likability.

8. Likability is Key To Your Own Charisma

Researchers Joseph Folkman and Jack Zenger studied 51,836 leaders to discover how significant a role likability plays in their success. They found that only 27 leaders who were ranked in the bottom 25 percent for likability also ranked in the top 25 percent for leadership effectiveness. That means there is only approximately a 1 in 2000 chance a leader can be unlikable and successful.

Likable leaders earn the trust of their team members and treat them well. Researchers discovered that when people feel respected by their leaders and are comfortable with them, they perform better on teams.

Teams with likable leaders also tend to be more stable long-term because of lower turnover rates. In a <a dir="ltr" href="http://www.gallup.com/services/182138/state-american-manager.aspx?utm_source=gbj&amp;amp;utm_medium=copy&amp;amp;utm_campaign=20150408-gbj">Gallup survey </a> of why people had quit their jobs, almost 50 percent said it was to escape bad bosses. This suggests that one of the reasons unlikable leaders fail to produce positive results is they can’t hold onto their top-performing team members.

Even if they can hold on to their <a dir="ltr" href="https://www.scienceofpeople.com/how-to-be-great/">top performers, </a> unlikable leaders almost always are incapable of leading teams through changes, whether that’s introducing a new project, changing a process or going through a company restructuring. For <a dir="ltr" href="https://www.scienceofpeople.com/change-someones-bad-behavior/">organizational change </a> to be implemented effectively, people have to voluntarily change; if a leader forces them to do so, most people won’t work efficiently because they are unwilling to adopt the changes.

It takes a likable leader who has earned the trust of their team to convince people to willingly step out of their comfort zones and do something a new way.

9. Charismatic People Bring People Together

Charismatic people are socially wealthy. What I mean by this is they have lots of connections and share them regularly. Highly charismatic people are not only great at meeting new people, but also sharing their talent with their connections by introducing people who they know will get along well.

This quality is part of the reason charismatic people are such sought after connections; they spread their social wealth.

Researchers find that highly charismatic people are often the best leaders in fast-paced environments because their infectious optimism helps keep their teams motivated during challenging times. This works in social situations as well. Rather than skeptically listening to people’s goals and ideas, charismatic people offer encouragement. In a professional setting, you want to find ways to encourage people while still holding them accountable. Make it a point to:

<ul><li>Reward good work. </li><li>Assign credit where credit is due. </li><li>Give genuine compliments. </li> </ul>

<a dir="ltr" href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0749597889900526">Jane Howell studied different types of leaders </a>. She found that when leaders with high charisma ratings led teams through activities, those groups not only performed better, but also interacted more successfully.

Another <a dir="ltr" href="https://hbr.org/2012/06/learning-charisma-2">study </a> published in the Harvard Business Review  found that charisma can be learned with practice, just like any other skill. The key is to have a plan. Don’t try all of these steps at once!

Bite‑sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career

Charisma: What Is It and How You Can Become More Charismatic

Charisma: A Primer

The Vulnerability Effect

Great Conversationalists Don’t Talk Much

The Spontaneous Trait Transference

Take Charge Of The Conversation With Another Person

Give Yourself A Break

Competence Vs Warmth

The Key Is To Be Likeable

Charismatic People Are Connectors

Charisma And Infectious Optimism

Charisma: What Is It and How You Can Develop Yours

How to Develop Your Charisma and Become More Likable

The Charisma Myth: Practical Advice on Becoming More Likable

Bite‑sized knowledgeto upgradeyour career

Charisma: What Is It and How You Can Become More Charismatic

Charisma: A Primer

The Vulnerability Effect

Great Conversationalists Don’t Talk Much

The Spontaneous Trait Transference

Take Charge Of The Conversation With Another Person

Give Yourself A Break

Competence Vs Warmth

The Key Is To Be Likeable

Charismatic People Are Connectors

Charisma And Infectious Optimism

Charisma: What Is It and How You Can Develop Yours

How to Develop Your Charisma and Become More Likable

The Charisma Myth: Practical Advice on Becoming More Likable

Bite‑sized knowledge
to upgrade
your career